Fflam prostrates himself upon the cold floor of the citadel, pulling at his ears with the joy he feels at your kindness. Fflam doesnt deserve such kind praise, yes it pleases Fflam that Pariah is pleased with him.
(I forgot about this miserable little fellow. Made me laugh) Go to Comment
Well, both Dobby and Gollum were referenced when I was writting Fflam, but the real idea is portraying the most pathetic of demons, an underling so low that he is generally only summoned by goblins and their ilk and thus is desperate for attention from a real wizard and a chance to regain power lost so long ago he can barely remember it. Go to Comment
Now this is an interesting idea, an enchanted book mark. I guess it is the logical step of a bibliocentric spellcaster. It could get silly, going into enchanted book jackets, and the like, but as it stands, I like the idea.
I'll rank it 3/5 since it is a good idea, but not really fleshed out beyond a basic magic item that a magic user would have. A good backstory and perhaps a point of origin would make it a really outstanding post. Go to Comment
1 point for being more than twenty words long.
1 point for not being blatantly plagiarized.
-1 point for gratuitous and eXCessive spelling and caPiTaLization errors.
-1 point for being a vague and uninteresting demon.
-1 point for Opus Dei (Work of God) employing demon summoning wizards. Shame, for shame!
maybe if there was a pit of bad characters there might not be so many low quality posts like this. We ascribe to the Gold Standard, and refer people to look at the better ranked posts. Maybe it might be easier to point some submitters to the pit and show them what the bad posts look like.
This is a bad post but look how many responces it has generated. Go to Comment
This submission has been in the citadel for 2 years at the time of this update. Since it's inception it has served a purpose and is very well known among Citadel membership. With apologies to Agony, this submission stands as the low water mark. It has every example of being a bad submission, which have already been beaten to death in the commentary above.
This submission has been challenged a number of times (by the same member, I might add) and each time it has emerged again as the prime example of a bad submission. For lack of better language this submission will remain in the Citadel until Agony or Strolen himself decide to remove it and not a moment less.
With Agony returned to the site I hope to see him return to this submission and possibly make some of the changes that were suggested above, but I am fine with it the way it is now. Arrkrash can now be considered 'under my protection' Go to Comment
DL is entirely correct that magic swords are a dime a dozen, yet this one stands out quite effectively. The backstory sets it in high regards, with other luminary blades that were as often plot devices as they were weapons of magic power, such as Excaliber and Durandahl. The story is excellent and reflects the journey of the hero who in coming to terms with power must make the ultimate sacrfice at the apex of his power. Kudos for creating a truely 5/5 post Echo. Go to Comment
Feel free to link Maggot. I have found that posting characters from my own games generally generates a mediocre, or very little responce, so most of the NPCs I post are pretty much free to use, so long as they are not out right 'stolen'
Echo, so long as they are unique and worthy individuals, there is no reason to shy away from creating a batch of Half-demons. I was inspired by sTYKe's Kairos demon, or by what it could have been, especially the part about moonlight.
A note on Rachat's race, if I list him as Half-Devil, it conjures the idea of some sort of bizarre horned and fork-tongued monstrosity. Rachat appears, and acts human, and other than a few oddities, such as a taste for undercooked meat and his eyes, passes for human very easily. Go to Comment
Wonderful description and personal action, and I would agree with Adel that he is too powerful as presented, but with a little detailing, he could be truely great. Perhaps his appearance of power belies the less tangible flaws, perhaps ailments of the soul, or the spirit.
You are improving, I knew thatthis NPC was going to come up with a 'he got everything he wanted' ending, which would have been lame. I think it is good that he fell to the corruption of power, and I can see him being quite narcissitic and shallow, considering his rapid rise in ability.