This is an impressive body of work, with a great amount of detail, and thought that has gone into it. Lets start with what I liked.
The Hexenjaeger - I love this name! So much more interesting than the stock witchhunter. I would like to see them more, perhaps either more development, maybe a sample or two.
The Coven of the Crimson Moon - nicely done.
Satyrs - fantasy needs more satyrs that are more than the cherub-like fawns from Fantasia.
The Priest of Sil'Durion - I must agree with the captain that the white barbarian eating butterflies following the priest is pretty spiff.
Now for the constructive part. Each scenario is good, I was especially fond of the besieged city. As a whole, however, they seem to lack cohesiveness. The Coven of the Crimson Moon is cool, but once the adventure is done, nothing more is heard of them, or the Hexenjaeger.
In essence, each scenario feels like an island with little or no connection to the next, other than 'chasing the rabbit' to the next scene. If there was some way to create a stronger sense of unity, or internal harmony between the scenarios it could create something stunning.
I like the dichotomy between the two races. One the one side, humans are both a delicacy, and are feared by the physically mighty angaoth. But on the human side, the anagaoth are terrifying beasts all but immune to death.
Yet in one of the hooks, it suggests that the anagaoth fear of humans is not without merit, as they can be routed from an area by humans. We are a tenacious and destructive race. Go to Comment
certainly creative, and I liked the image of the old guy putting on a helmet to protect his eyes from magical sparks. Makes artifice seem more dangerous that simple incantations and drawing circles in the air. I also like the use of the Upright Society of Civic Wizards. Go to Comment
The standard love potion must be consumed by the person who is to fall in love with the next person he or she sees. In stories much hilarity and embarassment ensue as the lover-to-be lays eyes on the wrong person.
This sort of potion would certainly be illegal since it is tantamount to a permanent or semi-permanent life-rape drug. Marriage vows would be destroyed by a single dose, free will is subverted to the command of an unknwon substance. While oftentimes the Cauchemar may mean well, the end result is someone being forced to another's will, regardless of their own. Is this not one of the core themes of evil? Go to Comment
Voyeur, peeping tom, pervert. The usage of the term Cauchemar is just as derogatory. A Cauchemar is a person, generally a male who uses love potions, or charisma enhancing magics/spells to seduce women to his own ends.
The Cauchemar is a taker, and generally is bound up in his ability to have any woman he desires. The most famous have been the villians of epics, where they attempt to seduce a noblewoman but are thwarted by the noble knight/hero. Go to Comment
Hmmm...interesting post. It has merit and shows that it has been thought out by the writer. There are quite a few things I like about this post, and a few that I dont.
There are not enough non-standard versions of weapons. Wooden swords, training or otherwise are going to be common in a sword weilding civilization. I also like the look of a sword with a knotty, knobby root-ball like haft.
Now for the bad.
A knoll is a grassy hill.
Swords are not heavy, unless you are swinging a claymore or zweihander, which were intended for killing mounted warriors and their horses in the same swing. The weight of the weapon is only important for crushing weapons. This is mitigated if Splinter weighs a ridiculously small amount, like a twig.
A splinter pierces the skin, rather than slashes it.
1. It is a magical version of a rivet gun, made by gnomes. See rant about gnomes and wacky devices.
2. Reading about spell-like powers, dials and knobs, and extra-dimensional spaces made me feel like I was reading an entry out of the Dungeon Masters Guide from D&D.
3. I don't like the creation of technological items with spells. Rivet guns were designed for the building of iron ships and building construction, something not very prevalent in the standard fantasy milieu.
4. It is too easy to go from this to a piece of chain wrapped around a guide bar enchanted with 'keen edge' and 'animate object' spell to create a magical chainsaw. Go to Comment
Moon's advice is sound, and it helps for everyone to read it, no matter how long we've been here. Never hurts to brush up on the basics as it were. Now, it's time for me to add my two cents on the matter.
Vampire basics - how is that Diacon can eat, as common usage vampires cannot ingest food, and certainly couldn't gain weight. Pama is mentioned as the daughter of the Vampire Queen, can vampires reproduce, or was she born prior to the vampire queen becoming one of the undead? Basically, how dead are your vampires? On a side note, how prevalent are vampires in Torin?
Diacon is interesting in that he has infiltraited human society to the point of becoming a fat, supple, soft court functionary. What is there about him that sets him apart from the others of the court, and from the other ranks of vampiredom? Go to Comment
I think this is a great idea, especially the use of magic gloves over trying to follow the idea of horse brass that extensively. This area could be harder to work in since there is RW customs of horse brass, I do not know if there is a hawking equivlant. Go to Comment
Nice idea, and I can even see the possibility for the creation of several smaller hidden schools and more elite factions within the larger schools. There could certainly be a hidden duelist school exclusively for women. I Can also see each school having an elite of the elite faction, such as White Wind duelists who have fought in X number of duels or a highly visibly never been defeated club. Go to Comment
Certainly a unique idea, and the connection between the storms and the sails is interesting. During storms the sials of a ship are usually furled, except for those needed to keep the nose to the wind. Having sails that can't be torn would be a bonus there. As for one sailmaker to make all of the sails for a single ship would be a mjor undertaking, considering that the larger ships are going to have dozens or sails, and replacements in the hold. Go to Comment