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The Last Submission About Voting and Commenting
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Citadel Help)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-31 06:27 AM
We have a good number of submissions that break down how we should vote, how we should comment, what we should say and what we shouldn't. We can post critique guidelines and how to be better commentors, but there is something that is more important than that.


All the voting and commentary guides in the world don't matter a lick if there is no one commenting, if there is no one voting. Go to Comment
The Immortal Worms
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Underground)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-29 01:17 AM
A few questions come to mind, can they drown? Do they have any supernatural immunity to poisons or poison gas spells? Earth worms poop out 'castings' that are valuable as garden fertilizer, what do these things poop? How fast can they eat their way through stone, followed by how quickly do they 'digest' the material they consume? Are they eating their way through, or are they actually physically burrowing? If they are burrowing, how? Secreting an acid, do they have concealed teeth or a rasped radula?

Earthworms are our friends, and this is something that I did learn after I started gardening.

From the title I expected something quite different, actually. I was expecting something necromancy-ish, or divine, where the worms were immortal, or bestowed immortality, or something along those lines. These are basically stone worms.

Go to Comment
Idran Motaer
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-29 01:25 AM
I see him being a rogue agent, devoted to some fire goddess or avatar of destruction. The problem with arson in your typical medieval setting is that aside from the stone castles, everything is wood and thatch, and flammable. He might burn down a house, but in doing so, he's likely going to start a fire that spreads and destroys a large portion of a city, or town. Of course, this doesn't fit in with the image of the rustic idyllic countryside, but those locations have the virtue of being somewhat remote, and plainclothes murderers and mercenary scum would likely be a cheaper and more reliable alternative to Idran.

I would use him not for casual murders, but for big ones. Epic murders. The sort of murders and disasters that bards would sing songs of, and that builders would study to prevent from happening again. Burn the cathedral to kill a powerful bishop. Burn the hunting lodge where the son of the duke routinely entertains bacchanals, and so forth.

Go to Comment
Response Set
Articles  (Character)   (Gaming - In General)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-29 01:51 AM

The one thing I would add would be a string of fluff text (written from an in game perspective in the format of each type of answer. Going from the initial premise, the character spotted 13 trolls heading for the city, and has been questioned about it:


'Yes, I saw trolls, there were a lot of them in one group, but there could certainly be more.'


'Yes, there were trolls, I didn't stay to count how many, I've got to get my things together and make a quick escape.'


'Yes, there were thirteen trolls in the group. One was wearing armor, which is unusual for a regenerating creature. They did not have a banner, none were painted for battle, and some were smaller than the rest. Troll family clans will migrate if given sufficient reason.'


'What's a troll?'


Shrugs. 'They might have been trolls, I didn't look that close.


'I don't know, I can't say that they were trolls, they might have been orcs, or they might have been northlanders. Northlanders favor those horned helms, and trolls have horns too, and it's easy to get them mixed up, especially if it's foggy.'

'Wait, do you mean have I seen trolls recently?'


'Yes, I saw trolls, enough trolls that if you manage to murder them all without getting half your own men killed in the process the people might be willing to forget about how you handled the riots last month.'


'Indeed, who do you think lead them here?'


'Anything but trolls' *faints*


'Nothing we can't handle, eh? You fetch the oil and I gather the guard and the torches.




'There haven't been trolls here in ages, don't be daft'


'Yes, there are trolls coming. They are going to rampage and paint the walls with out blood and boil our children for soup. If you had listened a year ago when I told you about the trolls coming out of the bottoms, if you had listened a month ago when the mercenaries forfeited their contracts... But no, you had to be in charge, and everyone else was wrong.' Pulls dagger. 'You won't see the trolls, because I'm going to make sure that you die by my hand, for my family, because of your foolhardy pride.' stab stab

Go to Comment
Johnny's Sling
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-29 01:58 AM
I would make a druid type and use this sling as a surprise weapon or terrain altering tool. Bramble and nettle seeds could be fired out of it to make obstructing hedges. Stinging, stabby, thorny, and viney plants would be fantastic for this. Also useful for making a quick escape by throwing tangling plant seeds behind you, tripping up pursuants.

animated topiary seeds?

A single magic acorn that if used in the sling grow/summons an ent/treant that fights for the sling bearer.

Poison ivy

Carnivorous plants

Instant biomass to climb a tower, a wall, to obstruct a river, etc

Instant raw feast, slinging seed pods for a plant that can be eaten raw, or easily cooked. Go to Comment
Items  (Transports)   (Combat)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-09-01 10:22 AM
This sub actually actually came from a need in my novel. The military unit needed to be cut off long enough to make it vulnerable, but it had a support ship, a destroyer. An ice storm and terrorists are a minor concern to such a vessel, but reducing it from a flying destroyer to a handful of transport and gunship carry alls made more things to blow up, and easier things to blow up. Go to Comment
Items  (Transports)   (Combat)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-09-03 03:40 AM
Do you want a serious answer, do you want me to just agree with you, or would you like the sarcastic answer? Go to Comment
Items  (Transports)   (Combat)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-09-03 03:41 AM
Are you looking to buy, or just kicking the lateral stabilizers? Go to Comment
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (General)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-20 01:00 AM

Agree with Axel, I enjoyed the teaser as much as the actual submission. I like the idea of the elfin rumspringa sic public service, and I can see this cultural tradition bleeding over into the lands where half elves and elf friendly cultures can be found. Go to Comment
Demon Blood Sword
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-20 12:55 AM
Going to attempt to paraphrase from Moonhunter.

This is not a bad submission, but it isn't a good one either. An ideal to strive for is the Hollywood standard, as in presenting the item as if it were to be used in a movie, comic, or other entertainment venue. What does it look like? Who created it, and why did they do so? It is obviously a powerful weapon, and there are many powerful weapons (YAKAS - yet another kick ass sword), so what makes this one different?

The sword can be used to summon a Balor, and here most people know that that is a specific type of demon from Dungeons and Dragons, but that leaves a huge gap. Does it summon a random Balor, or is it a specific Balor bound to the weapon? Tell us about the demon attached to the sword? Is it a bull roaring monster, a cunning a devious charmer, a shrewd bargainer? (my personal suggestion would be to imagine who would provide the voice of the Balor and work backwards from there)

And Welcome to the Citadel.

PM me if you would like some help editing this, and I'd be glad to be of assistance. Go to Comment
The Celestial Dragon Suit
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-20 12:43 AM
Beautiful, and my favorite is the 7 Virgins dance. It did take me a bit of reading to realize that this is not a suit of clothing/armor worn by a single person, but rather a more traditional parade dragon.

Well done! Go to Comment
Goat Belt or Belt of Minor Levitation
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-20 12:35 AM
Gentlemen, BEHOLD! The Triple Jump Belt! That wanna be wizard Mario-us of the Mushroom Kingdom can go salve his staff and cry because I have just rendered his Double Jump Overalls worthless! Go to Comment
The Many-Changing Sword
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-20 12:28 AM
A mundane, even subpar weapon, until charged with the life's blood of a creature, and then it is primed to deal more damage. I could see variations, such as gaining additional damage potential, increased critical hit chances, etc.

Final Fantasy 12 had a chain system, and the more creatures you killed of the same type, the greater the rewards they dropped. While pen and paper doesn't work the same way, I could see a weapon becoming more and more potent as it hacked and hewed it's way through the same type of foe, becoming nigh unstoppable until it is used to fight something else, resetting it, or throwing a classic DM curveball, the leader of the goblin horde is a night elf, making the bonus useless against it. Go to Comment
Spirit of the North Road
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-20 12:15 AM
I like it, since most PCs are going to be typically in a hurry. The harder they try, the more obstacles they encounter, and never get there any faster. Go to Comment
30 More Generals
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-20 12:13 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Space)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-20 12:09 AM
Nelson Bond's story 'And Lo, the Bird' circles around this core concept, planets being eggs, back in 1950. Aside from that, most of what is here is different enough to not be considered copying or derivative.

I think it's interesting, but the nature of the gargatias punching out of our universe in the matter of picoseconds rather limits them to speculation or conspiracy theory in a game.

Still an enjoyable read. Go to Comment
Dungeons  (Tundra/ Arctic)   (Rooms/ Halls)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-09 08:53 AM
I like this quite a lot, the entire backstory of Kurt's escape, piecing through that, to find a powerful and demented psion, an oblivious AI, the setting. Go to Comment
USSS Ticonderoga
Locations  (Other)   (Space)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-06 01:40 AM
I did something similar to this a good number of years ago, creating an uber-warship that had no master but itself. It was autonomous, crewed by robots, and protected by drone fighters, with sophisticated weaponry and a powerful central computer controlling it. Having completed some arduous and terrible mission far from the edge of human controlled space, the Krakensfire attempted to RTB, only to find that the human government that launched it was no longer in existence. Rather than accepting one of it's sociopolitical descendents, the ship moved off to a holding position and stopped. It was functionally caught in a data loop, if could not return to base and inform it's creators of it's success because the base no longer existed.

The new powers quickly attempted to claim and commandeer the venerable warship, only to find that rather than an antique, it was a cutting edge weapon. Through it's long mission, it had wrought many improvements upon itself, upgrading weapons and armor, scavenging the hulks of ships it destroyed for repair materials and new technology. The Krakensfire laid waste to the ships that attempted to take her, and was eventually destroyed, but only after the warship determined that Earth itself was a foe, and forced a coalition of the Terran nations to fight it off.

After the Krakensfire was disabled, a great cost to the coalition fleet, the coalition quickly dissolved with the surviving fleet groups turning on each other to claim the hulk of the Krakensfire.

Rather than allow of one of my players to claim the ship, she burned up and crashed into the Indian ocean. Go to Comment
Something Weird cart
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-08-06 01:52 AM
The part that really makes this is that the items are mundane and modern, but deprived of their actual names, brands, etc, they become something different, and we see our own crap in an almost anthropological manner. I remember an activity I did in school, where we were given a variety of objects, and were told to extrapolate what we could about the culture that made them, without relying on anything not on the item. One of our items was a copper disc slightly larger than a thumbnail, marked with letters and numbers, and holding the image of a bearded man, and on the other side, a building. It was a penny, but the function was the same. Interesting and fun. Looking around me right now, the first five things that I see for the cart include: a brown bottle with an orange lid, the contents of the bottle are very sticky and vaguely snot-like, a hard black case of indeterminate material, a paper cylinder with some sort of spiced flat cracker like objects inside it, a small vial of iridescent red fluid, the lid also has a brush, and a heavy gold tome of unintelligible writing and many pictures of what looks like pastry.

(rubber cement, a gun case, can of pringles, nail polish, and a cook book for cookies) Go to Comment
Of Domes
Locations  (Other)   (Any)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-07-09 12:13 AM
I had to Google Paletes, and read up on the anime and manga from wiki. In the Cosmic Era, people on the Moon, or Mars, or any of the offworld colonies do not grow to extreme height because of the lack of gravity. They can and do alter their physical appearance, including height, weight, etc, but this is a function of genetic manipulation and deliberate augmentation. Go to Comment
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