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Michaela Reed
NPCs  (Extras)   (Combative)
ScorpionJinx's comment on 2005-01-08 08:20 PM
Ok, first of all, not a bad start. I still dont know why people have characters with a scar across their eye but the eye is perfectly fine. But hey, that's just me.

Hmm, pillaged home and murdered family. Temporary enslavement. Cliche...but again, not a bad start. Alot of cliche things are becoming popular these days.
What get's me is that she has become a mercenary. Which means over time she will be hired out and will become just like the ones who attacked her home. And then someone else will take up the reigns. Kind of an endless cycle of violence there.

:pokes Penguin:
I dont think there is anything wrong with the name given. But one would suggest that an elven character have an elven name. Unless she has adopted the human name as a way of survival. If so, some details of why she chose this name would be appreciated.

Why did the band of humans chose to pillage her home?
Why was Michaela's life spared?
How long was she a prisoner to the band of humans?
What is a bladesinger? (most of us have no clue what this is)
What things did she endure before the Master Bladesinger agreed to become her teacher?

Not trying to be mean. Just trying to give some constructive criticism. These are some questions that need to be answered. And as I have been told many many times. Details are appreciated, even if they are really long. Not bad for your first character. Go to Comment
Little Dark
Locations  (Forest/ Jungle)   (Country/ State)
ScorpionJinx's comment on 2004-11-09 09:25 AM
I have to give it a 4/5.
I could actually picture it like a little mini movie going on there. For some reason I expected to hear Papa Smurf narrating it...or Brainy Smurf. Go to Comment
The Omen of Fire
Plots  (Discovery)   (Multi-Storyline)
ScorpionJinx's comment on 2009-10-20 11:23 PM
Becuase it is demoralizing to those they have come to conquer. The others were given much smaller ships to keep with the idea that most of these places are growing colonies that have not been established long enough to build little more than hodge-podge transports cannibalized from the ships that originally brought them there.

My question is, where is New Mecca?(sp?) The place they were originally heading in the first movie. Go to Comment
The Omen of Fire
Plots  (Discovery)   (Multi-Storyline)
ScorpionJinx's comment on 2009-10-20 11:24 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Prince Graeme
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
ScorpionJinx's comment on 2004-09-02 09:05 AM
Impressive. *nods* You should do up a page for Baird like you did here for Graeme.
Well to be honest, I think it was a good idea to give the
Yu-gi-oh reference. It gives a good basis for someone to watch to gain a better understanding of the interaction between the two brothers.
You should never be ashamed of anything you do in your life and no one should judge you by the shows you watch. I think people would be a bit happier if they still watched cartoons even as an adult. And if watching these shows helps keep your imagination well fed and in shape, then who cares. My cartoon guilty-pleasures include Courage the Cowardly Dog and Teen Titans. :)
Keep up the excellent work. Your doing great. Go to Comment
Sentinel The Ranger
NPCs  (Minor)   (Natural)
ScorpionJinx's comment on 2004-09-01 10:29 AM
Ok, first thing first. *Looks at Scrasamax and Captain Penguin* "Ditto" Is not a helpful comment. Now onto the present character.

How can a character be legendary and not have a name or a background? He has to come from somewhere, there has to be some record of his past deeds. What do people call him? If they dont know his real name they must call him something for him to be Legendary. And if he has such typical elven features, what is there to distinguish him from any other tall male elf with rustic blonde hair who wears dark colors? Where did he get the scar?
"Unknown" Is not the right thing to put in background, unless he has no earthly clue of his own history and the world has been struck by some sort of spell of something that causes everyone to have the memory span of a goldfish.
Elaborate more on your character, I agree with Ria on the fact that the Preview shows alot of promise and potential.

1/5 Go to Comment
Burrito Benzanito
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
ScorpionJinx's comment on 2004-08-28 08:23 PM
I dont see anything wrong with naming the character Burrito. It's not likely he will ever be mistakened for some other guy by that name. I dont think the name is stupid either. It has orginality and it takes a brave man to take such an unusual approach to their character.

I knew a girl named Rebel, that was her birth name. Besides look at it like this, burritos are mysterious things. Within that floury exterior there waits many things. Some good, some bad. If he ever crosses your path, you will live the rest of your life reciting to your friends and anyone who listens the tales of a man called Burrito. Go to Comment
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