Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Second Era of Hewdamia
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Specific)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-09-26 11:09 PM
An interesting idea for a world. It has made me think of some things I'd like to put into my world. Go to Comment
The Full Goblet
Locations  (Establishment)   (Other)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-09-28 10:56 PM
Actually, I like it, KendraHeart. If the food and drink are good and the prices fair, the inn will make it on its own. The addition of the Cup gives it a certain something extra that makes it memorable to its patrons, a sort of an in-joke. 3/5 Go to Comment
The Gar Eeel
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Water)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-10-24 04:12 PM
Some more detail on the gems would be nice, as well as a bit more detail on the eels. Also it could use being run through the spellchecker. Other than that, a good useable sub 3/5
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The Dungeon Masters
Dungeons  (Underground)   (Style)
Ramhir's comment on 2011-03-05 05:15 PM

Fascinating idea, with all kinds of twists and turns! I'm going to look into adapting it to my campaign sometime. Perhaps as a Fae encounter?

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More Boo!
Articles  (At Table)   (Gaming - Genre)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-10-26 12:16 AM

A good set of useful guidelines. I already do some when I have a horror episode in my regular campaign, and they work a treat.

Thanks for the others.

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Five Best Tips for Posting on Strolen's (and Other Places)
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - In General)
Ramhir's comment on 2011-01-30 10:10 AM

I agree with all the others on this. Very useful, for seasoned subbers as well as newbies (we frequently do not practice what we preach, after all!) I, for one, will try to abide by it.

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Lux Mites
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-09-24 12:06 PM
Interesting. Also perhaps sound mites? What about smell mites? (3/5) Go to Comment
Dead Pepper
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Desert)
Ramhir's comment on 2011-01-12 11:23 PM

A very interesting sub. I suppose that fermenting them would make some *real* firewater, Valadaar!

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Dalme The Tinker
NPCs  (Major)   (Knowledge/Lore)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-09-30 11:16 AM
Very nice. A well-crafted NPC that can be dropped into any fantasy campaign, and could cause a bit of trouble for the PCs. Thanks! 4/5 Go to Comment
The Strange Parchment
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Non-Magical)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-09-19 08:13 PM
Great puzzle. Been a GM for 20+ years but this is the first time I've been on this site. Will be back often, I can tell. Go to Comment
NPCs  (Extras)   (Mystical)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-12-05 11:28 PM

Wow! You know, guys, if you had been half as harsh on my first sub, I'd never have been back.

I agree that it was abysmally bad, but a lot of the comments were taunting or mockeries, rather than any kind of effort to encourage or mentor him. We all have to start somewhere, and I don't know of any writer who, when talking about his first efforts, doesn't say something to the effect of 'reading it now made me squirm with embarrassment'. At least he is putting something of himself on the line, which most people wouldn't dream of doing; he deserves something more than a put-down for that.

I firmly agree with Wulfhere and dark_dragon and the later posters. Agony - keep at it. Your later subs were significantly better, keep writing and improving.

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Wristbands of the Howling
Items  (Armor)   (Cursed)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-12-31 04:19 PM

Good idea, MysticMoon. I think I may use it, and your plot hook, in my campaign, as well.

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Khu-Nakht Amen
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-09-28 10:50 AM
I have to agree with EchoMirage. He has no purpose or motivation in the game world. He is a very powerful character that does what he does and then leaves, brushing the PCs off like ants. There is nothing in it for the players to interact with, which is a fatal flaw to me.

Also, the writing is not very good. It isn't the flawed writing of a non-English speaker, that I can accept. This is an English speaker that is stringing adjectives and adverbs together to try to make his writing 'grander' (how do you 'charismatically' pull a scythe from under your cloak? or "endorses(?) this small tavern, in this quaint (what makes it quaint?) town, with his absence.") Sorry, it grated on my nerves as I read it.

It does have some good ideas, but they are so buried that the GM would have to rewrite it from scratch. 2/5 Go to Comment
The Hell of Dry Bones
Locations  (Desert)   (Other)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-11-13 11:50 AM

A good sub. If you don't like the 'hell-traipsing' quality, it can be easily converted to other locales, modifying the denizens and suchlike. Nice descriptions.

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The Crown of Pier Point
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-10-15 10:23 AM

Interesting. It doesn't fit into my campaign, but an interesting sub. I agree with Axlerowes, the story does't really grab me. 3/5

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NPCs  (Major)   (Travelers)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-09-21 10:31 AM
I *Love* it!. Extremely well detailed and the personality overflows the writing. I will certainly add him to my fantasy world, and perhaps eventually to the Urban fantasy that we are talking of making. Go to Comment
Knooble Glitio
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-11-02 09:43 AM
Then I'm glad this is now, not then. I wouldn't like to critique like that, nor be a fish swimming against the current. Go to Comment
Knooble Glitio
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-11-02 03:35 AM

I agree with everything you said, but I wonder if we were a little hard on him. It is usually a good thing, particularly with new posters, that, in addition to critiquing them, we also find something good to say. That's been my experience as a Creative Writing teacher. Something like:

Welcome. It's good to get fresh ideas. You showed good enthusiasm, but your subject was kind of cliched. After all, mad gnomish inventors with their flying machines are very common. You would probably do better if you hit 'Edit' under your sub and tried to come up with something new and different, such as ........

What do you think? I agree that it wasn't very good, but if he never comes back, he'll never get any better. Don't we have a duty to encourage as well as critique? Or is my teacher mode getting the best of me?

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Blind Mask
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-10-25 11:15 AM

I echo Dragon Lord. I'm not sure how to insert it into the game, but it sure would be interesting. A definite 4/5

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Roots of Unity
Items  (Other)   (Non-Magical)
Ramhir's comment on 2010-10-19 09:47 PM

Very interesting, but what is the point? Also, I got very confused with all the measurements. Are they supposed to mean something, or are they just there for any, all, or no reason? I do like the fact that they are *everywhere*. 

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Near Death Experience

       By: Siren no Orakio

For you to have a near-death experience, Death must have a near-YOU experience. Take care to treat him well, and you may be rewarded... eventually.

Ideas  ( NPCs ) | April 1, 2013 | View | UpVote 7xp