"they also tend to occasionally indulge in cabbalism" Whoa, the Lurdi are into Judaic sorcery? Cool!
That being my chief problem with this otherwise-extensive and detailed writeup; it badly needs proofreading and editing. Aside from that, this has a honking lot of useful and thoughtful detail.
Mm, I was thinking exactly MysticMoon's way - that this looked a bit too railroady for my tastes. The ratio of flavor text and exposition to plot is also quite high. In effect, there are only two incidents requiring any input from the party other than refusing to touch the scenario at all: finding the boy around the waste pit and fighting the hunters. There's a good framework here, but much less meat than I'd like.
I like it, although I would have kept the real-world presence of NISMF Philadelphia; having a bunch of inactive and stricken warships (including the Kennedy, the Tico and the Yorktown) around would have their own useful plot threads. Plenty of plot possibilities all around.
AG Edit: The replies to this particular comment got out of hand and was removed from the submission itself at Silveressa's request.
Oh, now, that's a nifty little folk tale ... and all that's necessary to turn it into a plot element is the seamed old gaffer, sitting on a stump at the country fair, taking a draw on his pipe before continuing, "... and they do say that mud puddle's right here in th' North Valley, leech 'n all, a-waitin' t'be found by someone as has need of it."
Solid sub. I'd like to see more on what Ram looks like and what precisely he can do now, as well as a writeup about the interior of the castle, which sounds like a perfectly good spot for some plot.
Mm, I admit that this dings against some of my prejudices; to wit, that there's a point to the creation of an item, that it has powers that make sense, and that plot related to the item has some point to it other than Creating A Weird Puzzle For The PCs. The clarifying reply is helpful, but it'd be more helpful if the 'Powers' description explicitly said what the item did. Beyond that, I can't see what wizard would possibly enchant the item to activate in such a capricious, hit-or-miss fashion - were I to enchant a teleportation item, I'd use a password that wouldn't be dependent on which birds may or may not be in the area at any given time - why he bound an entity into it, or what exactly that entity does.
See, I was going over some old RPGnet posts of mine that I saved, and found this string of items I'd contributed to a thread about creepy Small Town Horror elements. To my pleasure, I found that I'd racked up 29 of them, and making 30 wasn't hard. No doubt others can think of more!
Actually, I figure that wearing blue would be pretty conspicuous really fast. For one, a good horror campaign is heavily investigative. For another - and here's the reason I picked blue for the color - no blue jeans. Never mind "no blue jeans" in a community in America ... none in a RURAL community in America. It'd be pretty astonishing.
It also struck me that if the scenario takes place during the 4th of July, you'd see a parade with NO one wearing the national colors ... not a cheerleader, not a color guard, not a marching band member, no one.
I like weird local traditional customs, and this sort of thing can really spice up travel in the outback for a party - odds that there'll be some traditional festival in some village at some point of a journey are pretty good. Truth be told, I could readily fill to thirty on this, but if other people would like a shot at contributing their own ideas for offbeat village doings, go for it!
... although ... I'm considering going 2x on the quest words, with them all incorporated in a second set of ten.
And a fifth vote. Seriously, you really can't give us TOO much information; I doubt too many people come here who aren't interested in packing more stuff in.
Serious ass-kicking detail. I second Cheka Man with an HOH tout, as soon as it's eligible.
Alright, here are a few ideas from my own spells, stripping as much system-specific info as I can:
CONSTELLATION: The caster can elect to view the sky as if it were a celestial map, with lines drawn between the stars to join them into constellations and the names of the major stars written next to their positions. This spell also allows the caster to view the night sky from the point of view of a sky-watcher from another culture of which the mage has heard. In this case, the caster will see the stars arranged into the appropriate constellations and names for that culture.
DETECT CHANGES: The caster may determine what physical changes have been made to a place since he last saw it, even if the changes aren't visible to the naked eye. All changes that have occurred since the last casting of this spell on the subject by the same caster will be detected.
BATTLE MAP: This turns an ordinary map into a detailed three-dimensional topographical rendering of the area covered by the map. It includes the precise location of tactically or strategically important objects such hills, houses, bridges, fortifications, trench lines and formed bodies of friendly troops. Enemy troops or unknown formations are only shown on the map if they are visible to the caster when the spell is cast. Otherwise, they appear as a hazy, but still distinct shape, in their last known location.
VISION OF BATTLE: Observers may view a diorama of toy soldiers as if it were a real battle. When the spell is cast, the toy soldiers begin to move on their own. After a few minutes of careful observation, observers will see not animated toy soldiers on a tabletop but a real battle, with forces of the size of the actual battle depicted (regardless of the diorama pieces previously put into place). Time passes quickly; each battle is over in about 10 minutes, even if the viewers think that they have seen several days of combat.
The scale of the toy figures permitting, uniforms, faces, terrain, and equipment of the soldiers will change to produce maximum realism, including terrain effects, extreme weather conditions, smoke, fire, explosions and gruesome injuries. The caster can recreate a real battle or a hypothetical battle based on historical military organization and tactics. If he wishes, the caster can “change history” at any point in the battle to see how the outcome would be different; the caster can also freeze the battle in place at any stage, at which point the observers lapse back into real time until the diorama resumes. However, the depiction is only as good as the caster’s information; any flaws in the caster’s knowledge of the equipment, troop strength, capabilities or battle plans of all the forces involved are reflected in the presentation.
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((The fact remains that I know of a small chunk of great authors that have left or took an extremely long break because of the outcome of these type discussions.))
I happen to be one of them. Strolen was kind enough to flag me down, thinking (accurately) that I'd be interested in seeing this. It's an overdue article, and may deter some people from the childish BS that has driven authors - myself included - away. I still don't see myself participating further on this site, having been thoroughly soured, but this is a good step.
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