Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Oka
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mercantile)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-02 12:29 PM


Cute, detailed, practical and a nice fleshing out to the 30 submission. 


Go to Comment
Religion
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Defining)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-01 12:37 PM


I think the main thing lacking in this piece is clarity. I am unsure if I am reading several books, or if I am Ridinian. Each individual story is interesting and well written. I would also advise changing the title to "Religion in your world name here" to stave off confusion. 


Go to Comment
Fully Articulated Powered Carapace Armor
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-01 04:11 AM


A very good and complete writeup of an uncommon piece of equipment. Does the Kellerhadrin Plant fiber ever wear out or degrade? I'm sure the suits are broken far before then, but it seems a releveant qestion. If the plants are still alive when they are used you might even have to water your armor. 


Go to Comment
The Ark
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Area)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-01 04:02 AM


Wow. I have only read this and the Biv (it might be nice if you used inline links) but I already have a very very clear picture of your world. Good work. 


Go to Comment
The Ark
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Area)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-01 04:02 AM


Wow. I have only read this and the Biv (it might be nice if you used inline links) but I already have a very very clear picture of your world. Good work. 


Go to Comment
Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-01 03:57 AM


Ohemgee these are so adorable. I am tickled pink by Tauric's idea of them existing in more than one plane, and being large majestic bovine in one and tiny little nusiances in another. You obviously put a lot of thought into these sweet creatures and have a very clear idea of their abilities. Unfortunately aside from flavor I don't see them being involved in anything quest-related or grand. That's okay though, they fulfill their role very well. 


Go to Comment
Rings of Mutual Exclusion
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-01 03:47 AM
This was where my mind went to first. :D Go to Comment
Rings of Mutual Exclusion
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-01 03:48 AM


Brilliant, practical, have some creative uses, and some devious ones. The gladiator match would be amazing for a group of players to get involved in. The notes about the appearance and tones was a very nice touch. 


Go to Comment
Mercurial Chain Sword
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Non-Magical)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-01 03:44 AM


It seems unwieldly and complex, then again there is a weapon for everyone. Does the extra weight deal extra damage? Is this weapon culturally significant to some people? Was it created for a special purpose? 


Go to Comment
Skirrin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Water)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-01 03:41 AM


This is not just a great flavor piece but a serious natural hazard in an aquatic game. It's very well detailed and has lovely cultural touches. 


Go to Comment
Apportation Research
Articles  (Setting Building)   (Gaming - In General)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-08-29 06:01 PM


Interesting. I am not sure what to make of this, but I can see it being useful as fluff to lead into a mystery or eplain some things. It's well written and clear.


Go to Comment
Balarian Mountain Goats
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Mountains)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-08-29 02:10 PM


Very nice and well described. It leaves me wondering what kind of cultures would revolve around the goats and their skins. 


Go to Comment
Vastid
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Water)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-08-29 02:15 PM


Very interesting, I like that the creature is little more than a herald of worse things to come. Are you aware that you can put line spacers in your formatting?


Go to Comment
Forget Me Not
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Non-Magical)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-08-08 03:55 AM


 



Plots



· Lord Westershroud and his mistress have suddenly been found poisoned. The players must first cover up the circumstances of his death, and then discover who poisoned them and why.



· Nothing lasts forever, the Forget Me Not has become broken during a gremlin infestation and widow Westershroud insists she wear “the last anniversary gift her husband would ever give her.” The players must find a craftsman skilled enough to repair the Forget Me Not before the funeral of Lord Westershroud. Being such an old and delicate item of such rare quality the smith might need additional help procuring tools and materials.



· A young dwarf wishes to obtain the Forget Me Not for study that he can use some of its design for his own Masterwork.



· Having heard the tale of redemption, Devorak’s clan wishes to have him interred in the clan mausoleum with proper honors. However, before he can be declared a Master Craftsman and buried as such his Masterwork must be found, examined, and approved by a council of elder dwarven craftsmen. It cannot be presented broken.



· The last vial of a rare poison has been stored within the Forget Me Not. It is the only way to defeat the rampaging Woargarble. The players must find and obtain the Forget Me Not, and perhaps even learn how to use it against the fearsome foe. 


Go to Comment
Forget Me Not
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Non-Magical)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-08-29 02:06 PM
Thanks for the input. I wanted to do something a little different for the backstory, but it seems it didn't work. You'll never know unless you try. : ) It's going to take me a few days but I'll try and come up with something more traditional and clear. Go to Comment
Forget Me Not
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Non-Magical)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-03 10:21 PM
Update: Massaged the story a little, hopefully it is more clear now. Go to Comment
Amanita
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-08-07 04:03 PM


 



DM Notes:


 


Amanita can either be a legendary figure or one very much active in the game. Her personal motivations are to be rid of her obligation to the dragon Rynysh who is imprisoned within the Red Dawn, that she may lead a quiet life with Erris and the red-haired orphans she has taken from the Jixden street. While she is brutal, it is the only life she has ever known. Her crew consists of members rescued from punishment for sexual deviancy, and are intensely devoted to her. The Red Dawn being a very powerful and thus desireable ship could easily lead to conflict, as could her smuggling operations or rumors of a sadistic cult. Just when the party is comfortable with the idea of this awful villianess show her tending to her children with Erris in the few moments Rynysh allows her ashore. 

Go to Comment
The Biv
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Defining)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-08-28 12:26 AM


A wonderful take on a critical piece of literature. I love how comprehensive it is, both the contents of the Biv and the contents of the submission. I also like how its circulation and treatment are a reflection of societal values. So we have society changing the Biv, but the one thing I feel this piece lacks is how the Biv influenced the people (other than obvious literacy). Does it actually lead people to better lives? I don't get the sense it actually had a strong impact on leading people out of the Age of Night. Are there Biv radicals of obscure versions and interpretations? I understand it is not a religion by some definitions, but it is by others and that is why I am trying to precieve it through that lense of experience. 


Go to Comment
The Penitent Sea
Locations  (TransWorld)   (Water)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-08-27 04:49 PM


It took me a few rereadings to understand that the repetition in the beginning is intentional, though I still feel it could be handled in a more clear manner.


Go to Comment
Demon Spectacles
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-08-27 12:36 AM


This is a good idea, but I imagine even if they were properly tuned admitting it as evience could be a slippery slope in court due to the nature of the alignment system. A person who has killed in self defense has killed regardless of justification, which would be shown by the spectacles as evil. It also raises questions, like can good people do evil things?


Go to Comment
Total Comments:
313

Join Now!!




Fatal error: Call to undefined function top_menu() in /home/strolen/public_html/lockmor/application/views/citadel/vfooter.php on line 2