It is quite servicable and well written, but I feel it could be something better. I don't want to be too critical, but I feel no uniqueness since its entirety is "What if humans were leeches?" It is a typically structured patriarchal society, but why? How did they develop brains and psychic powers instead of more developed tentacles? Why do they value philosophy so much, does it expland their psychic powers? Why were they not overtaken by the humes eons ago since they are showing capacity for rapid intellectual growth? What I think this post is missing is how and why a world run by leeches is different from the one run by humans.
I suppose I should give a bit of backround. I plan to begin a horror game, and will post pieces of it here as I write it up. I've read many of the articles here and found it to be an amazing resource, so I felt I should join and contribute. This is the first town at the beginning of the game. Since the characters will be relatively weak they will be given small tasks.
Christian will not leave his vigil at the tavern as he waits for his daughters, so the PCs are sent to a grove he knows of to collect spices. A knowledgable character might realize that this spice (I used star anise as my model) has two varieties, one poisonous the other safe. They may find the remains of someone who was killed.
Eva is in constant demand and cannot leave her forge unattended besides. She requests they search for a black liquid (I used naphtha as my model) which is flammable (for her forge) and used as a solvent (for her metalwork). The group will be offered a wide array of hunting knives setting out on their expidition, as no other weapons are made.
Allie resides in the temple at the center of town, which is where the cemetary is. Only a quarter of the cemetary is occupied by bodies, and the remainder is an open area where the 'wedding' will be held. Clearing out the weeds and rats gives characters an opportunity to discover what is amiss with the cemetary. It's custom in the village for a boy to go into the forest and bring his lady a token to show his bravery for her. Jessie is less than physically inclined, so Allie will send them to the most dangerous portions of the forest when they start becoming suspicious and the new moon draws close.
The ultimate goal is that on the night of the new moon the players are being hunted by crazed villagers, and run to the village to find it in flames with half the population dying of poison thanks to them.
The ultimate goal is that on the night of the new moon the players are being hunted by crazed villagers, and run to the village to find it in flames with half the population dying of poison thanks to them.
I agree with Cheka. I would be more interested in a story of how the cloth came into being than how it was found, but the writing and the idea is great.
An infinitely practical list with some good extra thought. I'd like to see some places that are not typically thought of as bases of evil. None really come to mind at the moment though.
16-Animal Refuge
Cruelty to animals easily becomes cruelty to humans. If the area is a wildlife refuge poaching, waste dumping, and smuggling could be common problems allowed by lax rangers. More sinister is the individual who takes in homeless pets for sale to science laboratories or just tortured for 'fun'. It is possible for escaped pets to wind up in the hands of such monsters much to the tears of their owners.
I have to say this because it has been bothering me. What Lays Beyond sounds like the title to a bad porno flick, I am fairly certain the correct word is lies. Normally I wouldn't make an issue of it but ohmahgah it's right there in the title.
Wonderful description, great item, not overly powerful, interesting enough to inspire someone. A great submission.
Would do well in a lighthearted game. I can imagine some clever solutions involving gnomes and the first mass market brewery. This could lead to other problems such as the supply of rare ingredients.
I see the mark of a good submission as me immediately wanting to think of ways to use it. I see the mark of a great submission handing me the tools to do it effortlessly. Truly an exceptional idea, and well thought out.
I think the plot hooks are where this creature shines, the fact that they leave people who have been consumed with hatred and evil as simpletons creates a moal dilemma. I love the little backstory about "the devil who just wasn't evil enough" but wish it was linked to some other posts so I knew more about this badass woman that tore his mind asunder.
There is something in particular that bugs me (haha... ha.) Im not sure how the mites work, but I think that might be better explained by why they exist. Is time itself made up of little insects? Are they parasites on time? I'm just having issues wrapping my mind around why they are what they are and why they do what they do.
I really like the uniqueness of this plot. Healing a large monsterous being is not intuitive, and certainly not easy. If any of the players are druids they might be morally obligated to take care of it.
I'm not sure what to feel about this submission. I like that it has several histories and several plots (one of which I like, but putting players in a save or die situation tends to make them unhappy and frustrated). I like the description and the setup alone would make for an interesting mage tower or other building. I just feel like there is something missing from it, like it's a bit too blank to be fully realized.
I also understand why axlerowes may be upset, but isn't part of a truly great submission how acessable it is? If even a handfull of people feel they are left wanting something that doesn't make a submission bad, but it's certainly going to keep it from getting a 5.
I have an image of a bunch of skeletons of trapped adventurers endlessly falling. They could even be animated skeletons. An epic mid-air battle!
Lifeforms (Unique) (Any)
I very nice look at a minor god / large being that answered any questions I had about him as it went. His usefulness is limited since, as is stated, he can only exist in darkness. Perhaps he has caught something, some trinket or person, and is running around the world with them in constant darkness. Would make for an interesting quest, always being in shadow and facing creatures of the night.
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