I think the greatest flaw in the submission can be seen in the plot hooks, only the first one really is a plot hook and it does not involve the horses specifically. The second one is only a choice, which once made either eliminates the horse from the equation or makes the getaway too easy. The village mascot idea is neat, but it is a complication and not an actual plot. The characters would need a reason to remove the protection of the horse from this field.
This has such potential. The idea of lawmen abusing the item, a society that is entirely accepting of the dead wandering around, moral issues of whether this is inhumane since their free will is stripped. And my personal favorite:
*cleric walks into a town full of zombies*
"AAAAHHH!" *Greater Turn Undead*
"Noooo! without those laborers we're going to starve this winter! You fool you've killed us all!"
I have a soft spot for techromancy, and this could have great applications in a steampunk game. "Oh no, we need this device to run and save the town! But it's infested with cog devils!" I don't know why I think of these little things as adorable, but I do. While they don't really need an origin story it would be nice if there were some theories.
This submission feels not only misleading but rather hollow. I prefer LINDA (looks interesting but never does anything) items to things that are overly malicious. Perhaps the wizard was a *ahem* blue mage? Tired of being mocked by his peers who looked down upon his work he created this spellbook so that any wizard who attempted to steal his work would slowly find themselves... coming around to his way of thinking. Subtly planting erotic images during combat, making erotic sounds at night to keep the party awake, mischief.
I wish the wisper was more reflective of the person it was in life. It doesn't seem to register with me that a bright, strong-willed wizard who devoted his life to educating the populace's legacy should be a fragment of undead that turns you into a gibbering mess.
31 - Cheese of the Forest Pact
This cheese consists of a small hand-sized wheel wrapped in chestnut leaves. It is a soft deer cheese with a somewhat gooey and earthy outer rind and milder creamy center. While the flavor is complex and delicious it is only available in the fall when the druids emerge from the woods to trade with common folk and ensure the forest will remain undisturbed for another year.
32 - Casu Marzu
Casu Marzu is considered to be a delicacy to some and spoiled food to others. Part way through ripening the top of the cheese is removed and maggots allowed to infest the cheese. As the maggots digest the cheese they deepen its flavor and give it an almost liquid texture. The cheese is then spread over bread, with live maggots wriggling and jumping off. It is best paired with a strong wine.Go to Comment
While I enjoyed this creature I don't feel it's really needed in a game. The environment itself is what is causing the danger, and it does not need to be guided by some hungry foce. In a way I think the lack of rhyme or reason is what makes it more terrifying, that it is not something that can be killed or controled.