I think the plot hooks are where this creature shines, the fact that they leave people who have been consumed with hatred and evil as simpletons creates a moal dilemma. I love the little backstory about "the devil who just wasn't evil enough" but wish it was linked to some other posts so I knew more about this badass woman that tore his mind asunder.
There is something in particular that bugs me (haha... ha.) Im not sure how the mites work, but I think that might be better explained by why they exist. Is time itself made up of little insects? Are they parasites on time? I'm just having issues wrapping my mind around why they are what they are and why they do what they do.
I'm not sure what to feel about this submission. I like that it has several histories and several plots (one of which I like, but putting players in a save or die situation tends to make them unhappy and frustrated). I like the description and the setup alone would make for an interesting mage tower or other building. I just feel like there is something missing from it, like it's a bit too blank to be fully realized.
I also understand why axlerowes may be upset, but isn't part of a truly great submission how acessable it is? If even a handfull of people feel they are left wanting something that doesn't make a submission bad, but it's certainly going to keep it from getting a 5.
Plot 1: A mysterious bout of venerial diseases has suddenly come to plague a city. Spreadding like wildfire and un-talked about by the community. A faulty manufacturer of the panties could be to blame.
Plot 2: Some pervert has been stealing into the chambers of lords and ladies and sniffing their panties! Finding the criminal reveals he has been able to reverse-engineer the panties to give up blood, which he uses for more sinister necromantic purposes like creating hollow children.
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Plot 3: The rivers of a far away town begin to run red with blood, destroying crops, causing disease, and fouling the water for drinking. This happens to coincide with a certian fad in panties several miles away. All the blood had to go somewhere, how can you convince the wealthy people of a far away town to care about this hamlet?
This is quite the submission. I am not sure it needs all the text you have given it, some simple ideas as far as invading the town and the final battle might have gone farther for a DM than fully detailing it all yourself. The base concept is great, but I think the name is a bit misleading given that it is a fragment of deamon and not actually a spirit of flora. Overall thumbs up.
Serena Marinez was a brilliant courtier, the kind of mind found only once in a generation. A quick and avid learner of anything she could observe her greatest yearning was for a good intellectual challenge. Regrettably life as a courtier did little to exercise her phenomenal talent, leaving her bored and disdainful of her peers. What little pleasure she derived came from ruminating over what she considered would be a most difficult challenge: to murder every courtier, every lord and lady, and every royalty – an entire coup de tete - and stand completely blameless. The perfect crime. Serena never intended to act upon her musings, simply to entertain herself. The need grew even more pressing after a riding accident left her paralyzed below the waist. Shunning the attentions of well-meaning attendants and bitter over the loss of her independence Serena died slowly in a fevered delirium brought on by infection.
A peculiar string of suspicious accidents seems to plague the palace, brought on by an assassin with intimate knowledge of the court. The delirious thoughts of Serena have begun wafting through the castle, and some have found courtiers with desire to kill. Every murder has been perpetrated by a different courtier, who has no memory of their actions. Each is seemingly flawless, but Serena did not have the benefit of learning from experience so there are consistent mistakes. Additional mistakes are made by those gripped by her ideas, as the ideas can only suggest and not fully elaborate. The great irony is that Serena has become the perfect murderer, how can you suspect someone who is dead?
Someone of importance to the characters has been implicated in the multiple deaths of courtiers which have occurred over the past month. This person stands to be executed soon if someone does not prove his innocence and ferret out the source of the deaths. The real danger of this situation is not realizing the Lost Ideas are about, and sacrificing one innocent for another.
The submission has some errors where it seems spellcheck turned one word into another. I think this works just fine as a stand alone plot and I think the variety of options are clever and interesting. Based on the comments, however, it appears I am getting more of a polished product than the previous readers.