Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Recursive Portal Trap
Dungeons  (Underground)   (Traps)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-14 01:24 PM
Short and sweet. Makes me want to map out an incredibly complex portal trap dungeon of some mad spacial warping abomination. Hm. Possibly some sort of giant flying lizard that craps alternating recursive portals everywhere.

Guide: "Don't step in that!"
Hero 1: "Ew, some sort of-" *Disappears*
Hero 2: "Where did he go?"
Guide: *Points up*
Hero 1: *Falling from a excrement portal on the ceiling"
"AAAAAH! WAAAAARP POOOOO!"
Go to Comment
Lord Jeremy Vancarse
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-14 06:34 AM
I liked the story on this one, but was left wanting more after it was finished. This story needs an ending, man! Go to Comment
Temple of the Golden King and Silver Queen
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-13 06:23 PM
Awesome! Such a great creation myth, and I'm glad I could help inspire it. I feel like the myth overshadows the temple itself but they have been intertwined in an awesome way. The temple mimicking the light as it was when they were together is just great. Good work. Go to Comment
Temple of the Golden King and Silver Queen
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-15 12:33 PM
I think expanding the temple and its typical staff, roles around the church, would be good. Maybe describe the outside appearance as well.

As for the Myth, I think describing the examples given by the faith and some of the church hierarchy would be a good start. If you want/need any help, let me know. Go to Comment
Temple of the Golden King and Silver Queen
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
Pieh's comment on 2010-10-01 10:17 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Temple of the Golden King and Silver Queen
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
Pieh's comment on 2012-04-17 03:25 PM


Reread it, as it is the Daily Highlight, and it's still a wonderful piece. It really feels alive and believable (for a fantasy setting). The sample scene is great, especially the dialogues between Illuminator and Illuminatress. It doesn't need any more as far as expanding the current content, what is there is complete. I do think more could be created around the church and its religon, as we have seen with the items associated, but it doesn't need more at all.



Great work, Dossta. Never stop writing.


Go to Comment
Veracit's Furball
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Plains)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-13 06:34 PM
Very cute and fun. The part with "I'm hungry" reminded me of the nightmarish Furbys, and overall it feels like a combination of them, Tribbles, and Gizmo from Gremlins, just add glowing. Do they breed at an alarming rate? Or mutate when fed after midnight? Can they be taught to repeat obscene phrases?

I like them. Good work. Go to Comment
The Land Of Anther, The Plane Of Zardikan-Anther
Locations  (Continent)   (Other)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-11 05:09 PM
This is another one that feels very rushed and unfinished, and I'm really not sure what information you were trying to give the reader. Each short paragraph seems to contain the stub of an idea.
Go to Comment
The Land Of Anther, The Plane Of Zardikan-Anther
Locations  (Continent)   (Other)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-11 08:22 PM
Hey, hey, now. No need to insult my imagination. I only meant to help. I can very well appreciate an open book, but yours feels like it's missing a few key pages. Don't make excuses for work you didn't finish. It won't get you far. We have a section called "Ideas" where you can submit short bit of inspiration meant to spur on the thought process. Right under "Input Submission" in the "Quick" drop-down menu. Your incomplete musings would be better there. Go to Comment
Shamash's Justice
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-11 04:57 PM
This one is rather weak. Lots of missing punctuation and lots of holes with the idea. You start out talking about Shamash, who he is, his love, and then him settling down. A brief mention of armor and a challenge, then you list properties of the never described armor. Needs more details about the armor, what this challenge might be, and just more time put into the idea.

It feels like you are writing these too quickly and off the cuff, without putting enough thought or effort into them. Go to Comment
Gauntlets Of Helios
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-11 04:51 PM
I like this one a good deal better than the Eye of Ra, yet I still feel like you're not putting enough effort into this to be taken seriously. Come back to these and improve them before posting more submissions, please. Go to Comment
The Eye Of Ra
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-11 04:45 PM
There is a lot about this that I have issues with, it feels very cookie-cutter and can be hard to follow in places. This isn't quite up to the standards of a 3, but I think that is what I will give it.

Welcome to The Citadel! Go to Comment
Spectacles of Hidden Truth
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-09 05:15 AM
I like this one. Not entirely original, but it has a fun background and I really like the description of the lenses (I imagine them looking like a soap bubble in the sunlight) and the visual aspects of one's thoughts. Very cool. Go to Comment
30 Spirit Lanterns
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-09 05:09 AM
It looks like a lot of work was put into this one, and I like it. But I can't help but notice that you didn't link to the original Spirit Lantern submission I think giving credit where credit is due is important, and not just because it was my submission.

And of course, thanks to Valadaar for suggesting there could be 30 of them.

Otherwise, very nice submission.
Go to Comment
30 Spirit Lanterns
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-09 12:16 PM
To link a submission to another one, there is a long thin box between the sub and the comments. Click the bold text and enter the submission's ID number.

I took the liberty of adding it for you. Thank you for expanding upon my idea, you did a good job. Go to Comment
Webs of Intrigue
Articles  (Setting Building)   (Game Mastering)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-09 05:29 AM
This certainly is food for thought, and I will be sure to consider it when planning my next adventure. Go to Comment
Webs of Intrigue
Articles  (Setting Building)   (Game Mastering)
Pieh's comment on 2011-07-17 08:15 AM


I just noticed the name Danamax on that paper, I will be revisiting the Danamax Rapiers shortly. 



This is still an interesting article. Food for thought, as I said before. And the pictures are a nice addition to this solid submission. 


Go to Comment
Unthar, the Sun of the Dead
Plots  (Crisis)   (Campaign)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-09 05:25 AM
I have typed several things trying to find an exclamation to do this justice. Alas, I succumb to pure explanation. I thoroughly enjoyed this submission. I really want to use it in one form or another. Excellent work. Go to Comment
Unthar, the Sun of the Dead
Plots  (Crisis)   (Campaign)
Pieh's comment on 2010-10-17 06:13 PM


Congratulations on going Golden. Echo and Unthar. I absolutely love this piece and can't wait to use it.


Go to Comment
Lytharian's Luminescent Orbs
Items  (Tools)   (Magical)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-03 11:23 PM
Very nice. Great Quest submission. I could easily see these topping many wizard's staves.

I particularly enjoyed the parts about the captured Will O' Wisps and the brief reference of "lux mites" which sound like they would be very mundane in a magical world, but with many subtle uses. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
592

Join Now!!




Fatal error: Call to undefined function top_menu() in /home/strolen/public_html/lockmor/application/views/citadel/vfooter.php on line 2