I love the wide variety of styles shown within, with some seriousness and a little silliness, it really is a marvel to behold. Can we do 30 Orcish Gifts (For services rendered, of course), next? I think that could be another fun one. Good show, guys! Go to Comment
Congrats on going Golden to Muro, and the rest of the crew! I love these collaborations. We should try to set up a monthly (weekly? bi-weekly?) collaboration submission just to produce more submissions of this quality and effort.
I agree with Dossta. Spice it up a notch and don't be afraid to details noteworthy establishments or people, descriptions of more festivities, and add some color. Sandy tan buildings don't sound very fun. Maybe they should be covered in colorful murals and graffiti, banners with interesting phrases, colored lights, a bonfire in the middle of the city. Stuff like that. Go to Comment
But, I mostly agree with MJS, there is no rhyme or reason to the list, they vary wildly in power level (some could be a simple curse, while others are most definitely the work of a God) and chance for application. Also, each entry is just too short. 30 lines, loosely connected, does not make a worthy submission. Go to Comment
Very interesting. The writing had a very fairy-tale feel to it, with its simple and precise sentences, which added to the atmosphere of the opening of the submission. But, getting into the part about Edamus, if didn't feel as natural. The overall story is a very nice way of introducing sciences and facts to an ancient setting that may not have been discovered otherwise. Sets a great base for how a world works and why. But I'm sure someone will question the integrity of the information somewhere down the line. Also: Jerk's questions should be answered. Go to Comment
I like it. What I really like it that it is only 30ft tall, and the room is 5x5. I feel like such a small space gives it more opportunity to be something more than a soul-sundering furnace. You just don't expect such ultimate power from a 3 story building. Does the moonlight have to enter through the top? or just any of the holes in the side? The hole in the top is smaller than 5x5 and could be very easy to plug it up so it couldn't be used. Just food for though. Nice job. Go to Comment
I enjoyed reading the History section. It was very grand and heroic and had a very classical feeling to it. There wasn't enough on the Shield of Hope itself, in my opinion. You gave us a great description of your world's history, and when in the timeline the shield was created, but you didn't give us enough of the shield's history.
The powers of the shield are also classical: The light that harms undead and a beacon of hope for allied troops give a strong impression of what these kings were trying to uphold.
However, it is useless in the hands of anyone of non-royal blood. Is there a reason for that? Why would there be "Cursed" properties on a relic of good? I could see it greatly weakening evil who hold it, possibly purging the evil from their hearts until it can function for them.
Not a bad first submission. Solid 3, with a +.5 for the nice history. Go to Comment
And, another question about something that seemed odd to me, why does Fly To The Four Winds (love that name) not transport his gear to an heir after he dies, or to a location known by the royal family, instead of to just far-off places?
While I agree that it isn't really "Cursed" I would argue that it becomes useless to the player that finds it. If it kept its properties for all good and noble people it would be much more useful. Is there a reason the wizard made it usable only by the royal family, even though he also made the armor that sends it away?
Keep working at it, a tip though: The more general, useful, and universal at object is, the better. There are enough legendary super items out there, those are easy. The challenge to to make something unique and flavorful. Good luck!
I'm not sure what to make of this. It's not a bad idea, but the majority of the submission is just a playlist. The songs might be better suited to a forum thread, while the shield itself needs everything Echo suggested and maybe a little more. Go to Comment
That is pretty awesome. I would love details on where the flame exists: What typically houses it? Are there more than one? Does it bond with a subject? It it always active or can it be concealed? Can it duplicate itself in the hand of an especially strong willed user? Are there any subtle drawbacks (such as physical or mental weakening over time, growing more reliant on it, does it burn the soul for energy to fuel the forge)?
Lot's of questions to be asked, but i like the presentation and the overall idea.
Also: You missed the Add to Quest Box. I don't think you can change it now. Contact an admin, this deserves to be in the quest. Go to Comment
I never anticipated how much awesome material would spawn from The Staff of The Golden King. Dossta, I tip my hat to you. This is a great piece with a power that is not only inspiring and useful, but themed appropriately. I am greatly enjoying out almost symbiotic relationship in posting. I feel like this could go on for many more submission, especially if we take the time to communicate ideas. Good work, dude. Go to Comment
I would say that the moonlight is required for the chalice to function, and Lytharian's orb would do the trick. But it might viewed as "cheating" the Silver Queen, in a sense, and would only be done if deemed extremely necessary. Go to Comment
Short and sweet. Makes me want to map out an incredibly complex portal trap dungeon of some mad spacial warping abomination. Hm. Possibly some sort of giant flying lizard that craps alternating recursive portals everywhere.
Guide: "Don't step in that!"
Hero 1: "Ew, some sort of-" *Disappears*
Hero 2: "Where did he go?"
Guide: *Points up*
Hero 1: *Falling from a excrement portal on the ceiling"
"AAAAAH! WAAAAARP POOOOO!" Go to Comment
Awesome! Such a great creation myth, and I'm glad I could help inspire it. I feel like the myth overshadows the temple itself but they have been intertwined in an awesome way. The temple mimicking the light as it was when they were together is just great. Good work. Go to Comment