Ah, you´ve been reading some Mieville lately, I gather? Still, you´ve given the race a few quite respectable twists of your own, which really boosts this way beyond any form of plagiarism. Very well done! Go to Comment

Actually, I like these guys better than Mieville´s rather dull critters, so well done. I´m a huge Mieville fan, but his creature ideas are rather too unimaginative for my tastes. Good job! Go to Comment

Hot damn, what a magnificent piece! Best of Gibson and TRON in one highly sexy package. I haven´t dealt a 5 in a dog´s age, but I´m doing so now, Go to Comment

Okay, Dr. Broken Record clears his throat...
This needs expanding upon. Lots of expanding upon. As it is, put it in as an idea, not a full submission. If thouroughly worked through, pimped up, made sexy and seasoned with some novel twists, it could be great. Make into a fully fledged adventure compendium, like you could buy in paperback back in the olden days, and I will applaud you. As it is, it really doesn´t do much for me.

//D. Go to Comment

Thalimir, I am assuming you are new to Strolen, so first off, I´d like to say hello and welcome. Here, you will find some truly awesome stuff by some really talented people. Whether you are a gamer, a writer or a dreamer (myself, I belong in all three categories), there will be something here for you.

However, the quality of the submissions you will find here is due not only to imagination and creativity, but also to the effort and time put into a sub. As we say: "flesh it out". Make it sexy. Make it accessible. Make it ready for use or to be disassembled at the readers leisure. Make ´em sit up and perk their ears.

Most people here, myself included, never put less than a hour or so into a sub. A sub can be short, but then it should be BECAUSE it should be short and sexy, not because it is sloppily made.

Now, I´m not voting to remove this. I would LOVE to see a planet of Orcs, in a sub detailing regions, races, technology, politics, history - everything. You have the idea, now fill in the missing pieces. In fact, I´m sure you have all those ideas already, so dont waste them.

All good subs (as well as books) start off with an idea, which is what you have here. Instead of removing this, I´d love to see you excel and make this idea into something beautiful and terrifying.

Good luck,

David Go to Comment

Nah, this is the cousin of that weapon... I´m still not sure if I want to do a thunderbolt-shootig lance submission.. That has been done before, but this is more original, I think.. Go to Comment

Yup, this is inspired by Uther Dohl´s Possible sword... China Miéville is a genius at giving fantasy clichés a spin, and Dohl and his sword (and the concept of possibility mining) is one of his best, genius, pure and simple.

For those of you that have no idea of what Im talking about, go and read The Scar by Miéville. Really, it should be required reading for anyone aspiring to write fantasy. Read Perdido Street Station and Iron Council while you´re at it! I even liked his UnLunDun, even though its more of a children´s book..

More Locastus stuff will materialize shortly!

Thank you all for your kind comments,

/David Go to Comment

Guess I have myself to blame for suggesting it...:-) I dare say I might be able to trot something out for our new quest.

Happy hallowen, everyone!!

/David Go to Comment

I do believe this to be inspired by the excellent Target Games RPG "Kult" unless I´m mistaken? An all-time favourite of mine. Nicely done. I would like to see more of its kind here.

 

//David

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Memory lane for me. I´ve had some of my best roleplaying experiences with that system, and I still draw heavily from it when in need of inspiration. Industrial splatter-horror, ice-cold cynicism and women having sex with panthers, what else could a growing lad need? :)

I´m looking forwards to seeing more of your stuff. I think we need some more creative writing around here. I even think I have a half-baked Kult novelette buried deep in my "in work" folder...

//D Go to Comment

I can only echo what has already been said. This needs expanding. I do like the basic concept, so please give it the attention and effort it deserves. And dont be shy of the spell check button. Grammatically, this needs some cleaning up.

I would suggest adding info on the general area, the village and its key locations and prominent figures. Perhaps there are more than one type of undead?

In short: Expand, elaborate, refine. Good idea, sloppy presentation.

//David

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Ouch. Nasty :) I like it...

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So. Now I understand your "Elib" post a bit better. I like this John Keel approach. 

What would be the cause or requirements for a "breakthrough"? Are we talking multiple variants of Earth or only one? Would these creatures be inherently evil?

Just a few random thoughts. I´ll be back with more:)

//David

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Whatever you guys are having, I want some....

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It as a certain unfinished feel to it, this sub.. But interesting, and original. Reminds me of "The Hell of Dry Bones". I have a great love of hells and pocket realms...

So, since you will be adding to this sub, I´ll recast my vote when it is finished.

/David

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You know what this setting needs?

A train. A skull-bedecked demonic locomotive, pulling boxcarts full of bone and rotting flesh... Crewed by scaly-skinned demons and belching a great plume of greasy smoke and cinders as it trundles across the desert...

Or if not an engine, make it a train of rail-carts, pulled by a team of demonic beings (or a large chained work-crew of the damned, whipped along by demon foremen?)...

Never stopping, forever collecting corpses... Some carts may hold rendering boilers for boiling corpse-blubber into tallow, curing vats for hides and so on..

Or, I dont know, maybe I just wasn´t raised right :)

//David Go to Comment

Thanks, guys :) I have to say Mike has picked off all the major insprations. Nice to see a true fantasy enthusiast (geek) at work :)

Be warned, though, ít´s not complete yet.. So if your need-for-closure (NFC) rating is above-average, you might get annoyed :)

//David Go to Comment

Update: Updated. Almost done. I´ve always had a problem with finishing things... Go to Comment

Aaah, finally found the time to finish this one. It´s been sloshing around my mind for a year and a half.

Cheers,
David
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I have. OK, it´s almost two years ago, but hey :) I hope you enjoy the rest.

//David Go to Comment