Simply put, an undead is any creature that used to be alive, and then died, but is now animated in a non-living form.

So what is life. Lets answer that first. Medical dictionaries say that you are not alive if your heart does not beat. Thats pretty simple, but you could also go metaphysical by saying that you are not alive if your soul is not attached to your body. Or you could say that you are alive if you are self animated by non-magical means. Or you could go someplace else with it. Clearly you should establish what your definition of life really is.

So keeping this all in mind, you should now have the prerequisites for any undead that you want to create. Go to Comment

Now this is a very interesting Idea, and I like it a lot (especially the causality) but there is a lot that is being left out.

For starters, the oil would actually be very beneficial to the tree. The oil, being hallucinogenic, would effectively ward off all animals that lived within the forest (as well as loggers).

So you would have a forest void of all animals, and filled with black trees that cover the forest, combined with the fact that anybody who enters the forest has hallucinations that, given the dark surroundings, would have a better change of being scary than not. Considering the fact that the oil would be on the leaves coating the forest floor, there is a very good chance that anybody on a bad trip would wind up on their back thrashing around in the oil, most people on a bad trip would never return.

Sounds pretty creepy to me. The mythology could be amazing. Here is a glimpse of what I am thinking.

"The black forest was a place of worship. A natural monument to the God of Death. Legend had it, that the God of Death would take the souls of those who entered the forest. If a man was worthy, the God of Death would bring him before Dande, the God of the Hunt, who would bless him and his household. However, if he was unworthy, The God of Death would take him to the underworld, never to return. Sometimes, he would give mercy to the unworthy, but left them with the memories of the underworld to motivate them to fix their failures in life."

Anyway, you get the idea. Write up some more stuff about the forest itself, and the mythology behind it, and I will rate this higher.

Pretty good Idea+Great Angle (causation)+Lackluster Backround+Incomplete details= 5/10 (Has potential) Go to Comment

Um, I would just like to say that the language of magic is a poor common language, and one which should not be spoken casually. It's a good way to shoot your eye out.

And for the record, I use tons of segregation in my D&D Games. 

Oh, and I increased the human lifespan. I can't stand the idea that Elves and Dwarves live 10 times longer than humans. How could they possibly contain similar mental stats if they had to live three lifetimes just to reach adolescence. I generally pull that comparison up to 2:1, or I make other races unplayable.

Also, I really do love dwarves and elves. They are just great races. I'm glad to have them.

 

-Nobody

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I like it a lot. This is one of the most practical mind effecting items I have ever seen. A lot of potential, however an item like this should not be mentioned so casually I think. Keep in mind that the mental effect here is rather potent. This Item should be a bit rarer I think, but otherwise really good work on the Idea.

Also, If you do make it more rare, then you should definitely add a backstory. In fact, you should probably add in one anyway, you know, just about how some person put it on, and it caused their death or downfall. Go to Comment

This is fantastic. I love the concept. You could have so much fun with this item. I long to try this out.

On the practical side, you should probably make the undead creatures incorporeal. Like shadows or something. Zombies and such would bve spotted too easily, and then they would be killed and the cloak would be useless.

Shadows are good though because they could only operate at night anyway, and they are hard to kill, and they leave no trace, ect.

Really good. 9/10 Go to Comment

I think that I like the idea, but there is a lot in this submission that is not there. I had to read this twice to undestand what it actually did. I think that changing the layout of the submission would go a long way towards that end.

A possible benefit for using the book would also be nice. Why would somebody want to keep reading it if there was nothing to be gained from this. Could some pages have spells in it? What about locations. Is the book intelligent enough to make something up? Is it sentient? I think that there are a lot of questions that are left unanswered.

Also, it needs some backround or history, be it the origins of the book, or an anecdote from somebody who had read this. Not only would that make this submission more presentable, but it would also help to explain the item a little bit better.

Finally, this needs some examples. What possible ends would this book want to see done by the reader. I can start to think of some now, but your presentation is too open ended.

Good idea+No history+bad explaination+needs examples+no plot ideas(optional)+Too vague= 2.0/5.0 (Idea's there, Needs Some Work) Go to Comment

I like the Idea. It has a lot of promise, and a real wicked streak for any non-evil person who puts it on. I definately like any items that incorporate a twist of the knife.

However, it needs an anecdote, be it a history of the item's origin, or some legends surrounding it, or the story of somebody who put it on. The item is just too poweful to go without one.

Mediocre item+Unique form (Lipstick)+cruel effect+no history+no plot ideas(extra credit)=3.5/5.0 (Sweet Idea) Go to Comment

I agree with Kendra Heart. This is a big problem for me a lot of the time. Finding an easy solution for it is a rather nice change. I will definately try this out. Go to Comment

My word. I don't think that I have ever seen anything quite like this.

What we have here is a normal (if very fine) item, with no truly unique properties other than those of rumor.

I have to admire the boldness of such a thing. I do not think that I would have posted something if it were not somehow special as compared to other like items.

Still, it is not the item itself that is important, it is what the item brings to the game. As far as that goes, this item is fantastic.

Very well discribed, with good detail and specifics that really make it shine. A strong history that you can ACTUALLY REVEAL TO THE PC'S. It's not a sword or armor, and it has no direct combat usage. The drawback to this item is practically the definition of Cruel Irony (the downside is that there is no actual downside). And you added plot hooks to top it off.

I must say that I am impressed. I love it.

Awesome history+Awesome Detail+Unique Item+Bold Idea+Brilliant Drawback+Extra Plot Hooks (Bonus)=5/5 (Awesome one! I'll Find a Way to Use it!)

Nice work. My hat goes off to you. Go to Comment

One more thing. You should only do this with a maturee roleplayer. Immature roleplayers will often be unwilling to give up that sense of control. Go to Comment

Three things. First, you should realize that the demon mirror is only the means to an end. The real reason I came up with this was because I wanted a way to hove two copies of a character, and the character not know which was which.

The item itself is very common. It is the presentation that is the key. It is pointless for example to have a clone of that person while letting everybody know who the real bad-guy is. This is the reason that I made this a plot submission and not an item submission, because HOW the copy came to be does not matter. What happened does.

As for the whole party separation thing, you could do this in somebody's house as well. I have seen a party split up again and again in a house that they happened to know was uninhabited by the host. And again, there are other countless ways to orchestrate the same effect.

Also, the demon would still be evil even if the adventurer was evil, but keep in mind that just because two people are evil does not mean that they get along. The demon has his own agendas, and on the top of his list is the removal of his clone (but only if nobody is around to see it, and only if the chances of victory are assured). So while he would fight with the group like normal, and be as useful as his counterpart (keep in mind that most of the time the same player is actually controlling him) he still wants to erase the evidence of himself being a copy.

You still have the exact same scenario, just with an evil party and an evil demon.

Or who knows, maybe you could have a good demon. You're choice. Go to Comment

Ok, I give you points for originality, points for making it a non-stadard item, and points for a reasonably acceptable history for this item. However, I take off points for listing it as a cursed item without explaining the curse, and I take away points for not really clarifying the combat value of this makeshift flail.

Mostly though, I am docing you for not explaining this curse. Does it stay in your hand until you can have it removed? Does it cause rashes on your body? Does it make you like dressing like a girl?

This needs to be explained. Also, if you make it cursed, it is always a handy idea to also make it somehow enchanted. I am not taking this into account when I vote on this, but it is a good idea.

On the whole I like it, but I really insist that you explain this cursed property.

If you do, PM me, and I'll up your grade. Go to Comment

I believe that I already answered that question in the description. But yes, that is what i said. Go to Comment

I created some backround for the dagger. I hope that it is satisfactory. Go to Comment

Remind me to breath next time. That was about as perfect as perfect gets. There are no words to adaquately discribe my opinion of this submission. It is just that good.

Well Done. 5/5

-Nobody Go to Comment

No joke. Based on the Hall of Honor nominations, I would have to say that this submission was the standard of perfection long before it became a Golden submission.

But it's so good.

I mean, It could get better with some more detail oriented touches, but it would only be turning a five into a six if it did. And there isn't a six.

Anyway, congratulations on all this great success. Don't let it go to your head Go to Comment

I think that this item is bloody brilliant. This is the most inspiring thing that I have seen for a long long time. I want to use it right now. Wait a second, I think I will.

Extremely useful as a powerful weapon for evil, but look at what cost. Evil mages might be able to destroy half of the world with this item, only to go insane and lose every gain.

And its so creepy. I would have the notes seem to linger just a bit too long if I were the GM, but aside from that, its perfect, and I agree with echo mirage that it gets extra bonus points for being a unique item.

Good Plot+ Excellent Item + Excellent feel= 5/5 Go to Comment

I think that you need to answer some of the basic questions.
Sight, sound, smell, touch, taste. Design, purpose, adaptation.

Let me ask you a series of questions to consider.

Sight- What does it look like. Not just the fruit, but the entire tree.

Sound- Espescially for an electrical tree, are there any unique sounds that it makes.

Smell- While smell is usually related to flowers, anything can have a unique smell. Does this one?

Touch- What kind of bark does the tree have, smooth or rough. Does the fruit have little hairs on them like a peach, or maybe the fruit has a hard outer layer like a mango.

Taste- What does the fruit taste like. Sweet, sour, bitter, salty...what? If it is like a battery, then it would be highly acidic, and therefore sour, but the electrical charge might be held differently.

Design- What makes the tree work. When and where does the electrical charge build up in the tree or fruit? Does it need an unusual soil to do so? What about climate, and conditions?

Purpose- The purpose of every species is survival, and the breeding of the species. A single fruit requires huge amount of recources for a tree to produce all the sugar in them. Those fruits are usually grown so that animals will eat the fruits and carry off the seeds to other locations to spread. Why would an electrical charge help the tree produce other offspring? At the very least, why wouldn't an electrical charge hurt.

Adaptation- Bark is an adaptation to the surrounding conditions. Bugs and animals that are harmful to a tree must be stopped. Every tree has defenses against it's environment. Certainly an electrical charge might be that, but then, larger critters would never eat it.


All in all, I want to see this submission thought out. If you can't explain why a tree like this might form, then I don't think it has been thought out enough.

2.0- Idea's there, needs some work. Go to Comment

I really like this. I really like the way that danger mixes with outstanding speed and durability. The crew for this ship would be considered the best in the world, renown for their cuning and Daring alike. They would also be the best paid in the world, since the ship's fast speed would make for very good bussiness.

Plus, the ship would start getting contracts to send important messages long distances through pirated waters. Go to Comment

Well, I usually try to stay far away from any Items that use divination to good effect, however, you did say that the map could be ambiguous.

Plus, the map could think that the PC's really need some patience (instead of the sword of death that they keep asking about) and send them to a really big library. This trick would allow a GM to easily avoid letting the players find anything anywhere. The Map could decide to change it's mind at any time for any reason.

All in all, I like it. And I give it a plus .5 for taking a stupid thing like Dora the Explorer, and making it into something cool like this. Go to Comment