I don't have much to add beyond what others have said. I like the mushroom handle; it's a nice touch. Also the delayed buildup. The names are a nice departure from the usual.
The stats are fairly meaningless to me, although I can mostly extrapolate out their meaning. Some fluff text for description would have been a nice addition.Go to Comment
This is quite creative and cleverly done. Enough is hinted at (even if not outright stated) to add this type of magic to a world.
One thing that stands out for me is that, rather than stated openly and boringly, a picture is painted of the callousness required to be a practitioner of this art.
I see this as a potent school of magic with very few practitioners. Learning this blood magic, it seems to me, requires a certain sociopathic bent as well as patience and focus. (In other words, they would make excellent, coldly calculating, villains.)Go to Comment
I feel like I get some teasing glimpses of a larger world here. References to the Plague, using sorcery to induce vampirism, groups such as "Masters of the Tomb", the vampire god (whether real or not), etc. Color me intrigued in the setting.
Aside from that, I think this could benefit from some plot hooks. Halan seems like a major player in this world and I would like to see how you view that in terms of the players.
I hate to say it but the name Oleastra puts me in mind of the food product olestra (not really your fault and I know I'm not really one to talk when it comes to odd names, it just seemed important to point out; of course it could just be me.)
Overall, I like this and look forward to reading more.Go to Comment
I had to read through it a couple of times but I think it finally sunk in. I like the idea of an order of Paladins fighting for good while unknowingly working for an evil entity. It's the kind of twist a skilled GM of evil intent could do much with :)
The plot hooks seem like good ways to get the PCs investigating something that would otherwise remain hidden to them. A party could fight their way up the food chain after they learn the truth. Tactically minded PCs, however, might seek to turn the lowest order of Paladins against their god.
I especially like that Krunuth holds his followers in such low esteem. It's a nice touch.Go to Comment
We need a "save the cultist" movement. For too long have the forces of good and right trampled upon the simple, hardworking, and downtrodden cultist; those whose only collective desire is to unleash world-destroying demonic forces. Is that really so worthy of being harried in their homes and put to the sword in their places of worship? Have we no tolerance?
Ok, seriously, this is one of those great ideas that seems like it should have been completely obvious, yet has never occurred to me before. Great work on this. 5/5
I have difficulty believing that the humans would be able to simultaneously eject all the other races, but I understand this is critical to rest of the history and the nature of Atheus. It is internally consistent, which I like, but it seems to depend upon an unlikely event.
The same goes for keeping the barbarian races at bay. I would expect a horde of hungry and angry barbarians to be able to overwhelm the civilized lands. European history has more than a few instances of barbarians banding together with even less motivation to accomplish such a thing. (Then again, Caesar was able to conquer Gaul by pitting the tribes against each other, so I could be wrong.)
Having said all that, I see many possibilities in the way Atheus is set up. Lots of potential for conflict. I can't say I'm a big fan of the humans, especially the ones on the border. That kind of blatant segregation does not sit well with me. I'd probably want to play on the barbarian side, maybe as a troublemaking chieftain looking to unite with others and teach the humans a thing or two :)Go to Comment