Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Lover's Downfall
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-30 09:39 PM
The intro is great and it's certainly useful as-is. It's also true that I wish there was more backstory and general flavor. Go to Comment
Oscv 02 Baleful Eye
Items  (SpaceShips)   (Combat)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-29 08:28 PM
It's nice to see some good sci-fi here. Go to Comment
Progressive Stiletto
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-28 07:14 PM
The Flight of Retribution
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-25 07:33 PM

I know I'm risking my geek cred here, but I've never actually played Doom. I can kind of guess that the demons look like demons, but beyond that the names mean very little to me. A little more detail on that front would have been beneficial for me.


While I like the factions idea, there's too much danger of the players getting bored before the action takes place. It feels like there could be a whole nother dimension (har har) to this. Not saying I know what that could be, just that I think there should :P


(Having said all that, I wish I'd been able to see this movie instead of the ghastly failure that was Event Horizon.)


There are some really cool pieces in this, such as the lightning charging the device.


I love the idea of taking the pirate attack up a notch by throwing in the demons. If done right, you could make the pirates just this side of too tough for the PCs. And once they think they can get a hand on the situation, Bam! Throw some nasty demons their way and make them really sweat it out.


The various scenarios are good, although as Mourn pointed out you can only second guess your players so much. Players can sometimes be really good at coming up with something completely random that borks up your plans.

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Key, Quill, and Seal
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-22 03:42 PM
My apologies about the confusion; I was having difficulty picking the category. As far as I could tell, there really isn't anything for items that matched religious relic.

Because of its size the quill can't use regular ink. It would need something more viscous that wouldn't simply pour out. Also, because it is unwieldy while requiring precise control it would be very difficult to use. Imagine a huge iron pen that will dump all of its ink if it does more than barely touch the paper. Go to Comment
Key, Quill, and Seal
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-22 03:43 PM
I will add an idea at the end explaining the Seal in more detail. Go to Comment
Key, Quill, and Seal
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-22 03:47 PM
Update: Changing the subcategory to avoid further confusion. Go to Comment
Key, Quill, and Seal
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-22 10:37 PM
I believe that the 8-in-8 challenge is forcing me to be as clear as I can with minimal verbiage. Posting something every day means that I don't have the luxury of taking a few days to work in every possible detail. I'm glad to know that this tactic is working. I do plan on tackling more involved subs later on, though. Hopefully they won't ramble :) Go to Comment
Key, Quill, and Seal
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-23 05:56 AM
Oh, you want to know what it does.

I guess I didn't explicitly say this, but it is the way (or is merely believed to be the way, depending) in which Ahkti communicates the divine word. Someone who is worthy would be able to write scripture as though Ahkti himself wrote it. (Or, if there is no real magic, someone could say whatever they wanted and claim Ahkti wrote it.). That is what is meant by "The Quill is the divine instrument through which Ahkti communicates His will to the faithful." It is why the plot hook about the Quill missing for a time could cause the claim of new scripture being available to be taken seriously. Go to Comment
Key, Quill, and Seal
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-23 09:30 PM
Update: Clarified the power of the Quill. Go to Comment
Key, Quill, and Seal
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-23 09:31 PM

The Riddle of the Seal


That the seal may be split in twain is a legend known to a relative few. It has been said that splitting the seal will split the world. Some believe it to be a literal sundering of the world while others believe it would mirror a division of the faith. Others have conjectured that the two halves represent the division between this world and the world of spirit; they hypothesize that a split of the Seal would cause a rift between those two realities and bring chaos to the world.


The Seal itself appears to be rather simple in nature when viewed from afar. When one attempts to follow the details it appears complex. The simple spiral is actually made up of a number of thicker lines intersected by a number of smaller ones. Hagartha used it as a focus for spiritual meditation and believed that he came to know something of the nature of Ahkti by pondering these lines.


Following the lines with ones fingers reveals that the lines are not solidly connected but are rather pieces of wire threaded around each other. Pressure on various parts causes other parts to shift. To Hagartha, this symbolized the interconnectedness of all. Accordin to Hagartha's teachings, this shows how we cannot affect the smallest thing in life without touching a web larger than ourselves. He used this as the basis for a philosophy of peace and respect toward others.


The two halves are connected by a bisecting line which is made up of a great multitude of these variously sized threads. Putting pressure on a point of one half of the Seal will cause a shift in the threads of this bisecting line which will then be reflected in a change in the other half of the Seal.


The legend of the puzzle is this: if the bearer of the Seal were to place pressure upon an intricate series of points on the Seal, in a specific order with specific differences in pressure, the lines in the middle would slowly unwind and cause the Seal to split into two mirrored halves.


Most bearers of the Seal have been vehemently opposed to solving the puzzle, feeling it would undo the divine power of Ahkti. A few have tried, however, but with no luck. In the modern age it is often a source of speculation, especially in the argument between mechanical and animistic world views.


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Key, Quill, and Seal
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-24 04:54 PM
Due to the strength of the entwined wires, sundering it would require enough force to destroy the entire thing. The effect of this would depend entirely on the campaign: anything from having a useless bundle of iron wire to the introduction of a mile-wide crater to the complete dissolution of reality.

It is made of iron and weighs as much as you would expect a large chunk of iron to weigh. Go to Comment
Sila'Khrysath - The Great Sand Wyrm.
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Desert)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-29 07:27 AM

Reading a few Ouzquin Dremorix subs beforehand helped me place this in a larger context. Please, please keep writing these subs... I only have a few more before I run out :)

The graphic is really cool.

While this is not a traditional dragon for the fantasy genre, I would argue that a dragon should be a powerful force, elemental or otherwise. To me this sort of cuts to the heart of what a dragon should be about.

I like how the elements of the desert play such an importance in this setting; it seems very fitting.

No question for me: 5/5

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Jacob Latris
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-27 07:57 PM

The way events were unfolding, I thought Jacob was seeking entrance to the other world so that he could chase down the murderers and make them pay in the afterlife. I was a bit surprised to learn that he himself did not really understand what he was searching for. (A meta search?)

The moment where he determines that he himself is a killer who must pay fits in neatly with the genre, me thinks. I like it.


Go to Comment
Lady Delores Briggs
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-25 07:49 PM

I am very glad you went with the Lady Delores over your original Lord Briggs idea. She may be an old woman who worries about getting dirt on her dress but she's a hell of a lot scarier.


Her story is tragic, of course. You never quite know how people will change under that kind of trauma. But then again, maybe she would have developed that side anyway, and James got off lucky.


The tiny arena is creative, horrifying, and really a little bit funny (albeit in a macabre way.) I kinda want to find a way to use that.


The one thing I'm not sure of is how she manages to get away with so much. With all the witnesses to her arena, including the ones who decided never to come back, her level of cruelty must at least be whispered about. In addition, I can't imagine her treatment of the prisoners could be kept completely secret, since so many disappear in her care. I suppose this wouldn't matter if the nobility have carte blanche to do such things, but part of her charm for me is the nonthreatening old lady shtick as a front for secretly being the scariest person around.

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The Rosomakha
Society/ Organizations  (Agricultural)   (Area)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-24 09:11 PM
A truly creative alternative take on Dwarves that rings true for me. If I ever run a traditional fantasy game I will most surely use this settlement. It would make the players second guess everything they think they know about the race and make it easier for me to surprise them.

In addition to being creative, the tale and setup of the Wolverine Clan is nicely internally consistent. It is obvious that a fair amount of thought went into this. Kudos for that.

Truly, this takes the typical answer to the question "What is a Dwarf"" and turns it squarely on its head. I have long lost my interest in fantasy races portrayed as a single stereotype repeated ad nauseam.

There's also so much potential for conflict here. Aside from the looming religious war there is the smaller struggle for identity in a culture that has only recently made such a change. How do the young feel when they become old enough to learn what their fathers left behind? Do they rebel and threaten to go back to the worship of Allfather and the mountains? Do they willingly take up the plow? Maybe they wonder what else lies out there and make their way into the wider world.

I can even see the residents of the Kjarja valley receiving derision from other races. It is common for many people to become uncomfortable and strike out (verbally or physically) when someone or something does not fit their previous experience or preconceived notions. Go to Comment
Pra'Eimus, the Grand Archer
Articles  (Character)   (Citadel Help)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-28 07:09 PM

I can respect the passion that went into this. These characters are obviously very special to you and I appreciate your desire to share them with the rest of us.

As with Darkstand, I'm not at all concerned with the spelling or the grammar. Those are not as important to me as the idea.

There are some intriguing elements to the ideas you present here; I only wish there was more to it. If there's any suggestion I would make, it is this: you have the core of an idea but it needs more details to make it feel complete.


Go to Comment
Fena, the Demon Goddess
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-26 12:05 AM

I tried to make this sub very focused on Fena, so while there are references to what goes on in the wider world, very little is explicitly said about it. Since I didn't have a particular setting in mind when I wrote this, I made the background details vague enough that they could be adapted to whatever the GM is using. As such, you are correct that many details are left out.

The binding of Fena could have been a good bit of narrative fluff to add. I'm sorry I didn't think of it.

A few ideas about the magic: It could be that magic waxes and wanes in this setting. Thus as it wanes and gets harder to use, its application becomes rare and fewer attempt to keep the traditions alive. Maybe Karilea was not the first to attempt to bring Fena back but, with magic waxing once again, was just the first to be able to tap into the power to do so.

Karilea's desire to free Fena was not random. I think it is common for some people to look to the distant past and seek a connection with it or to try to bring some of it into the present, especially when they feel lost or that life provides little spiritual meaning. Look at all of the various real world neopagan traditions that are around today.

Fena from the past would fit right into a high fantasy campaign but the modern version was designed specifically for a setting with little magic (or at least a world where magic is only beginning to come back.)

Thanks for the thought provoking feedback!

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Fena, the Demon Goddess
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-26 09:35 AM
Good questions, all. Based on all the feedback here, I'm working on an update. Go to Comment
Fena, the Demon Goddess
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-09-03 05:13 AM
Update: A lot more detail has been added. Go to Comment
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