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Chiros: Savage Messiah
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-01-27 09:23 AM
Thanks. I look forward to writing more.

Yes, he is intended to be androgynous (but not hermaphroditic). I'm glad that came through. I was going for a dual nature, combining masculine and feminine qualities (not necessarily the best of examples of either) to create someone who is strong, power hungry, and aggressive, but also charismatic, intelligent, and capable of subtlety. I suppose that does make him kind of uber. One of the effects I was going for on the rewrite was to show that it is his weaknesses that have driven him to become so strong. He has an intense fear of true death and he hungers for fame and power. These things have motivated him to become as invincible as he possibly can. Of course, he is dependent upon the assistance of gods both old and dark, with no guarantee of their loyalty. Without them, he would lose some of his power. Eventually, being so driven and living with the possibility of losing everything will cause him to go mad. The question is, will the world last that long? Go to Comment
Chiros: Savage Messiah
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-03-26 06:11 PM
Update: Added the necromancer freetext. Go to Comment
Chiros: Savage Messiah
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2012-07-20 09:23 AM
He's going to be the Big Bad in at least part of my developing campaign with the pocket realms, so I don't want him too humanized :p

I know this sub is a bit old, but I really do have more planned around it, Mathom be praised. Go to Comment
Gnomes of the Singing Wood
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Forest/ Jungle)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-26 07:31 PM


I love the different take on gnomes, the setting, the flavor, and the language used to paint the whole picture. This is the kind of submission that keeps me coming back for more and gives me something to aspire to. Thanks for the link back to my own submission (and I wish I'd read this one before I updated it).


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GraveBorn
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Mountains)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-22 06:55 AM


I really like the core idea. I can see working this into my own campaign; I would love to see how my players react to it.



I do think it could use some fleshing out. For instance, I'd like to know a little more about what motivated the Graveborn to stick together and form a community after the fall of their master. How long has the village existed? What kind of industry? You mention that they are xenophobic. How does such a community deal with the outside world? I think the interaction between the Graveborn and the living is filled with all kinds of possibilities. Have they had to repel crusaders wanting to wipe clean the unnatural creatures? Do they try to hide their existence?

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Ithyqonian Frost Giants
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-22 06:20 AM


I like it. The rime-fire is interesting, as is their mythology.



Like Siren, after reading the summary I was curious about how these giants react to men and their torches.


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The Lost Flute of Jasloff
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-21 08:22 AM
Update: I added a few headers to break it up into sections, per Moonlake's suggestion. Go to Comment
The Lost Flute of Jasloff
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-26 04:16 PM
Update: After letting some of the comments sink in and percolate a little, I have expanded the flute's history. Thanks Strolen for the idea of tying the history into the powers of the flute itself. Go to Comment
The Lost Flute of Jasloff
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-03-26 06:12 PM
Update: Added Music freetext Go to Comment
Spear-Sucker
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-16 03:47 PM


The idea is interesting but I have trouble visualizing it. Dossta's idea of a "portable portal" is a nice twist and is easier for me to see. It is especially nasty, since all of the attacker's force is twisted back around.



This sub leaves me curious about the Skkanden. They seem more "savage" than the average Dwarf. Are they more focused on stonework than metalwork? Is their culture more tribal/animistic in nature?


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Spear-Sucker
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-19 11:32 AM
Cool, thanks. I like the variation on the stock Dwarf archetype. Go to Comment
30 Prophecies
Articles  (Resource)   (Game Mastering)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-03-21 09:48 PM


The Ancient Wyrm sleeps upon his bed of diamonds and breathes the scent of molten rock, as he lays within his deep, subterranean lair. Beware the Wyrm, for he awaits the day of freedom. When the constellations are swallowed up by sky fog and lightning; when the sun descends and does not rise again; when the silver moon shatters into a hundred crystal shards and rains death; when the red moon turns pale white, like bone; when the frothy seas retreat and fish are left behind to gasp their last; when all these things happen, then shall the Wyrm be released from his prison to bring reckoning to the sinful mortal men.



None shall face its terrible wrath, for the gods imprisoned it eons ago and it has been waiting, waiting to be unleashed upon the weakness that is mortal flesh.



Be saved now. Beg the Wyrm for mercy, plead with it, offer to help it cleanse the world, and it may pass you by when that day comes.


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30 Prophecies
Articles  (Resource)   (Game Mastering)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-03-24 06:50 AM

In the year of the Silver Thorn, on the vernal equinox, a tree shall sprout to full height in one day from a great rock, splitting it in twain. Mark that day, for it spells the beginning of the end of our great kingdom. A strong leader shall appear from humble beginnings, as though from nowhere, and bring strife into our lands. The kingdom shall be divided in civil war, and our greatness shall be forgotten

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The Golden Pool
Locations  (Other)   (Forest/ Jungle)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-30 09:51 PM


A couple of thoughts to add to the others. What if the water flowed in and down rather than up and out? That would pull in any wayward attempts to retrieve the statues. I like the idea of the shrinking statues. Add in a remote and difficult to reach location, and the greedy would easily believe they were the first to find it, without any being the wiser.



As an added twist, you could always have someone who had figured out a way to retrieve the pool's contents, but only living flesh made real gold while any other material became fool's gold. It would make sense to leave a few statues behind as bait and spread rumors around...



Anyway, just a few thoughts you inspired with this sub.


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Denizens of the Chill Squall
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-19 02:11 PM


Like others above, I would have liked to see the other possible explanations given equal weight.



The intro was long compared to the length of the description, but I'm not complaining about that - it was far too enjoyable.


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Corpsefall
Locations  (World)   (Desert)
MysticMoon's comment on 2012-03-01 11:51 PM


Good atmosphere, good description, and internally consistent. It's nice to see the occasional "truly alien" environment and this one is well done.



5/5


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Harvester of Eyes
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-19 02:30 PM


This has a lot of flavor and makes me wish I was running a Cthulhu-esque game. I like it, especially the dark god aspect.



I think it could work well as either a Koontz thriller or an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.


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The Friends
Society/ Organizations  (Mystical)   (World Wide)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-26 07:36 PM

I kept waiting for the twist where The Friends turn out to be psychopaths who gain the party's trust only to turn around and utterly betray them.

Maybe I've become a bit jaded... Could be I just need a Friend to restore my faith in humanity :p

I think I need to mull this one over. My mind wants it to have a deeper meaning. A secret society which controls the fate of the world through divination and minor acts of kindness, perhaps, although I'm still not giving up on my psychopath theory.

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The Tower of Light
Locations  (Fortification)   (Any)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-05-30 10:55 AM


Very interesting. The thing that strikes me most about this is how clean it all is. Put someone in a little room, close the door, and wait for some harmless little moonlight. Afterwards, just get out the broom and clean up the innocuous pile of dust. A method of such brutality wrapped up in such a neat fashion says a lot about the type of tyrant who would use such a device and could inspire of number of linked adventures.



This puts me in mind of a combination guillotine (which was supposed to be a humane method of execution for its time) and some of the methods used to kill victims of the Holocaust.


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Temple of the Golden King and Silver Queen
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-03-25 05:47 PM
Only voted, as everything I would say has already been said. 5/5 Go to Comment
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