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The Sanguine Mist
Lifeforms  (Ethereal)   (Any)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-11 06:42 PM


Excellent. Definitely something to make the campaign world more interesting and deadly. I can easily believe that many people would be more than willing to make such sacrifices for that one thing they just can't do without.



The plot hooks are a nice touch, as well.


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The Keeper of Dark Dreaming
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Mystical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-01-03 09:01 AM


There are so many aspects of this sub that I like. Being a big fan of mythology, I love the description on how the Reverie came to be. I like the idea of the Reverie being a shared reality and it gets my mind thinking of all the ways that it would influence Elven society. The progression of Vlari-Shion's story is riveting. The language is wonderfully evocative. Truly a different take on monsters and it would have worked well for the quest.



I have racked my brain to come up with something that could use improvement, but I got nothin'.


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Chiros: Savage Messiah
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-29 09:36 PM


Inspired by a combination of Arch Enemy's Ravenous (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcNkmgnQHWM) and Savage Messiah (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLmVd-ssQ08) while reading Dean Koontz' Shadowfires.


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Chiros: Savage Messiah
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-30 11:54 PM
Thanks. I really appreciate the feedback.

I see what you're saying about the lack of weaknesses. I'll go back and make some changes after I mull it over. This is the first in a series of subs I'll be working on for the campaign I'm developing (the first I've run in a number of years). Future subs will include some plots, locations, other NPCs, etc. Go to Comment
Chiros: Savage Messiah
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-01-01 12:42 AM
Update: Rounded out Chiros' character a little and added some plot hooks. Go to Comment
Chiros: Savage Messiah
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-01-27 09:23 AM
Thanks. I look forward to writing more.

Yes, he is intended to be androgynous (but not hermaphroditic). I'm glad that came through. I was going for a dual nature, combining masculine and feminine qualities (not necessarily the best of examples of either) to create someone who is strong, power hungry, and aggressive, but also charismatic, intelligent, and capable of subtlety. I suppose that does make him kind of uber. One of the effects I was going for on the rewrite was to show that it is his weaknesses that have driven him to become so strong. He has an intense fear of true death and he hungers for fame and power. These things have motivated him to become as invincible as he possibly can. Of course, he is dependent upon the assistance of gods both old and dark, with no guarantee of their loyalty. Without them, he would lose some of his power. Eventually, being so driven and living with the possibility of losing everything will cause him to go mad. The question is, will the world last that long? Go to Comment
Chiros: Savage Messiah
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-03-26 06:11 PM
Update: Added the necromancer freetext. Go to Comment
Chiros: Savage Messiah
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
MysticMoon's comment on 2012-07-20 09:23 AM
He's going to be the Big Bad in at least part of my developing campaign with the pocket realms, so I don't want him too humanized :p

I know this sub is a bit old, but I really do have more planned around it, Mathom be praised. Go to Comment
Gnomes of the Singing Wood
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Forest/ Jungle)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-26 07:31 PM


I love the different take on gnomes, the setting, the flavor, and the language used to paint the whole picture. This is the kind of submission that keeps me coming back for more and gives me something to aspire to. Thanks for the link back to my own submission (and I wish I'd read this one before I updated it).


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GraveBorn
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Mountains)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-22 06:55 AM


I really like the core idea. I can see working this into my own campaign; I would love to see how my players react to it.



I do think it could use some fleshing out. For instance, I'd like to know a little more about what motivated the Graveborn to stick together and form a community after the fall of their master. How long has the village existed? What kind of industry? You mention that they are xenophobic. How does such a community deal with the outside world? I think the interaction between the Graveborn and the living is filled with all kinds of possibilities. Have they had to repel crusaders wanting to wipe clean the unnatural creatures? Do they try to hide their existence?

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Ithyqonian Frost Giants
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-22 06:20 AM


I like it. The rime-fire is interesting, as is their mythology.



Like Siren, after reading the summary I was curious about how these giants react to men and their torches.


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The Lost Flute of Jasloff
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-21 08:22 AM
Update: I added a few headers to break it up into sections, per Moonlake's suggestion. Go to Comment
The Lost Flute of Jasloff
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-26 04:16 PM
Update: After letting some of the comments sink in and percolate a little, I have expanded the flute's history. Thanks Strolen for the idea of tying the history into the powers of the flute itself. Go to Comment
The Lost Flute of Jasloff
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-03-26 06:12 PM
Update: Added Music freetext Go to Comment
Spear-Sucker
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-16 03:47 PM


The idea is interesting but I have trouble visualizing it. Dossta's idea of a "portable portal" is a nice twist and is easier for me to see. It is especially nasty, since all of the attacker's force is twisted back around.



This sub leaves me curious about the Skkanden. They seem more "savage" than the average Dwarf. Are they more focused on stonework than metalwork? Is their culture more tribal/animistic in nature?


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Spear-Sucker
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-19 11:32 AM
Cool, thanks. I like the variation on the stock Dwarf archetype. Go to Comment
30 Prophecies
Articles  (Resource)   (Game Mastering)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-03-21 09:48 PM


The Ancient Wyrm sleeps upon his bed of diamonds and breathes the scent of molten rock, as he lays within his deep, subterranean lair. Beware the Wyrm, for he awaits the day of freedom. When the constellations are swallowed up by sky fog and lightning; when the sun descends and does not rise again; when the silver moon shatters into a hundred crystal shards and rains death; when the red moon turns pale white, like bone; when the frothy seas retreat and fish are left behind to gasp their last; when all these things happen, then shall the Wyrm be released from his prison to bring reckoning to the sinful mortal men.



None shall face its terrible wrath, for the gods imprisoned it eons ago and it has been waiting, waiting to be unleashed upon the weakness that is mortal flesh.



Be saved now. Beg the Wyrm for mercy, plead with it, offer to help it cleanse the world, and it may pass you by when that day comes.


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30 Prophecies
Articles  (Resource)   (Game Mastering)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-03-24 06:50 AM

In the year of the Silver Thorn, on the vernal equinox, a tree shall sprout to full height in one day from a great rock, splitting it in twain. Mark that day, for it spells the beginning of the end of our great kingdom. A strong leader shall appear from humble beginnings, as though from nowhere, and bring strife into our lands. The kingdom shall be divided in civil war, and our greatness shall be forgotten

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The Golden Pool
Locations  (Other)   (Forest/ Jungle)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-30 09:51 PM


A couple of thoughts to add to the others. What if the water flowed in and down rather than up and out? That would pull in any wayward attempts to retrieve the statues. I like the idea of the shrinking statues. Add in a remote and difficult to reach location, and the greedy would easily believe they were the first to find it, without any being the wiser.



As an added twist, you could always have someone who had figured out a way to retrieve the pool's contents, but only living flesh made real gold while any other material became fool's gold. It would make sense to leave a few statues behind as bait and spread rumors around...



Anyway, just a few thoughts you inspired with this sub.


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Denizens of the Chill Squall
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
MysticMoon's comment on 2010-12-19 02:11 PM


Like others above, I would have liked to see the other possible explanations given equal weight.



The intro was long compared to the length of the description, but I'm not complaining about that - it was far too enjoyable.


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