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The Leech and the Mud-Puddle
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-06 04:52 PM


What a fun folktale and creative entry for the quest. The voice of the leech puts me in mind of Bilbo Baggins (before he went there and came back again.)


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Ram, the Dread Castle Incarnadine.
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-06 05:27 PM


I really like the potential I see in this. Having said that, it feels more like a summary than a sub to me. There is just enough detail to get me intrigued but not enough to really sink my teeth into.



For instance, the description of the outside of the castle is evocative, but the inside is a complete mystery (as RGTraynor pointed out already.) There is only a single paragraph detailing the history of the castle and only one sentence about the enigmatic, deceitful mage who opposed Ram's world-conquering ambitions. Who was this mage? How was he/she/it aware of what Ram was doing and why be the one to derail Ram's plans? This history seems, to me at least, to have a strong bearing on the nature of this stronghold and therefore important to understanding it.



There is a hint of who Ram is but no real examples. He went from power-mad to blase? There must be a deeper story there and I'd love to read it. And what is the "deceitful nature" of Castle Incarnadine? I love the idea of a sentient, untrustworthy castle (the better to torture my players with), but I need to have a better idea of what that means in this context.



In other words, the "why's" are as important to me as the "what's."



Perhaps I would understand this better if I was more acquainted with the Planescape setting (I left D&D behind some time ago.) I am vaguely aware of what Sigil is and that portals play a role in the setting, but not much more beyond that. I've seen pictures of Tieflings but know little about them as a race and/or culture. A little more context would give me enough to translate this into my own game.



A tentative 3/5, but this has the potential to be so much more (and I will happily reread and revote if it gets expanded.)


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The Amulet of "Oh Flock."
Items  (Jewelry)   (Sentient)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-12 11:38 AM


I was almost expecting to read, "Three is not the number, unless thou then proceedest to four. And five is right out." :D



I like the idea of this. The wording was a bit confusing for me and could use some clarification. I wasn't sure at first if the birds only showed up on the amulet or if they were real birds observed first and then they appeared on the amulet. Your reply to Scras about geese and swans helped clarify that (and the joke.) It would be better included in the sub.



I understand the urge to make things generic to be plug-and-play, but don't be afraid to liven things up. Include whatever creative details you can come up with; if it gets used, the GM will leave out whatever doesn't work for a particular campaign.



2.5/5, but I will revote when/if it is improved.



I see a lot of potential in your subs, Raptyr, and I hope you stick around.


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The Kandolari
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (City/ Ruin)
MysticMoon's comment on 2012-03-27 10:50 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Ether and Ethereal Magicks
Systems  (Mystical)   (Defining)
MysticMoon's comment on 2012-03-26 02:06 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Cartogramancy - The Magic of Maps
Systems  (Mystical)   (Defining)
MysticMoon's comment on 2012-03-10 11:51 AM


How did I never vote on this? I think the concept and execution are amazing. When I have a chance to go back and work on my Sundered World subs I plan to draw heavily from this school of magic.



5/5


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The Identity Conduit
Plots  (Event)   (Campaign)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-05-28 11:13 AM


The link to "Secrets of the Register" isn't working. It leads me to a dark place... with a Grue....


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CSS Demonstration Sub
Articles  (Resource)   (Citadel Help)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-05-15 02:11 PM


Excellent! I've been wanting to use headings instead of just bolded text to break my subs into sections.


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CSS Demonstration Sub
Articles  (Resource)   (Citadel Help)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-05-17 09:22 AM


Suggestion / personal preference: make all headers bold, not just the top-level.


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Pocket Realms of The Sundered World
Locations  (World)   (Any)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-06-02 11:09 AM
Yeah, I wasn't expecting much on this one until I'd written up more realms. The one I've been working on (Anquocia) seemed a little blah, which was why I put it in Requesting Advice. Between feedback on that, helpful chats, and responses in Sagely Advice, I believe I will be able to deliver more creative realms. Due to outside time constraints ( which I'm sure everyone is familiar with :) ), it is taking me far longer than I expected to get to this. Go to Comment
Pocket Realms of The Sundered World
Locations  (World)   (Any)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-06-02 11:43 AM
Forgot to mention this, but I take your point on making the Codex itself more interesting. Go to Comment
Pocket Realms of The Sundered World
Locations  (World)   (Any)
MysticMoon's comment on 2014-10-10 11:44 AM
This has been on the backburner for a long time now, but someday... Go to Comment
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-05-14 05:06 PM


This is my first attempt at a pocket realm. It is the setting for The Lost Empire. I've had it in my mind for awhile now and am finally getting it down. It doesn't quite feel complete or all that unique. I'm open to suggestion on improvements, additions, anything that can help it to stand out a little and feel more complete.



I plan to write a few adventures (maybe 5 Room Dungeons) that will take place here, leading up to The Lost Imperial City.

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The Mask that Grins and Lies
Items  (Clothes)   (Cursed)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-05-12 06:31 PM


This makes a really excellent introduction. I have an inkling of what the mask does and how it operates. The tone of horror is conveyed really well.



I am left with a few questions, though. What does it look like? What is its history? Does it grant powers to the wearer or just whisper suggestions?


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The Mask that Grins and Lies
Items  (Clothes)   (Cursed)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-05-14 09:06 PM


This is much improved! I believe you answered most of my questions. I'm still curious to know its history (just because I'm a curious sort), but I think the added bits make it much easier to use in a game.


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The Undead Knights of Knonii
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Regional)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-05-06 07:34 AM


Added Mourngrymn as a co-author as he helped develop the concept and provided some of the narrative (the anonymous soldier bit, for example.) Thanks, Mourn.



Any absurdities are all mine. ;)


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The Undead Knights of Knonii
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Regional)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-05-06 08:28 AM
Thanks.

Never underestimate a being with phenomenal power and the temper of a 2-year-old. At least that's what I learned from reading about Greco-Roman mythology. Go to Comment
The Undead Knights of Knonii
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Regional)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-05-06 01:09 PM
Just picking up a few spare parts....

Good imagery there. Go to Comment
The Undead Knights of Knonii
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Regional)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-05-10 03:22 PM
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

You bring up some good points that I would like to address:

They were not originally villains, no. But years of being cursed have driven them mad. Are they victims? Certainly. But for all intents and purposes, they act like villains. They kill to keep themselves whole with no differentiation between innocence or guilt. They kill because they are insane and hate the living. For me, that defines a villain no matter how it happened. Tragic, yes, which I think makes the tale more pressing.

I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with them being treated only as tactical challenges. But I also don't think that that is all they are good for. Understanding their history might make characters sympathetic to their plight; working to release the knights' souls would make for a far different campaign than just defeating them and making sure the armor is good and buried once again. Go to Comment
The Undead Knights of Knonii
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Regional)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-05-10 05:35 PM
Care to explore some of these questions in an idea scroll? :) Go to Comment
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