Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Arbiter - Two-Bladed Sword
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-08-26 06:19 PM


An excellent first sub. The back story really pulls me in. There's some good potential here for world-changing campaigns.



I look forward to seeing more of your ideas.


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The Arbiter - Two-Bladed Sword
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-08-26 06:17 PM
I think this is a fairly common move for new users, and I'm pretty sure you haven't offended anyone here, especially being a new user.

From my own personal viewpoint, I want a sub to bring the content alive in my imagination. I want to be inspired, not just by the sub itself but by the world it paints. I can always create my own stats, but the ideas and how they are presented are key. When I'm reading a really cool back story or description and then come across game stats, I find it jarring. Kind of like looking at an interesting painting and then finding notes by the artist on what colors he used in his palette. It breaks the spell. Go to Comment
The Sigurdian Bowgun
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Combat)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-08-24 07:57 PM


The physics may be suspect, but I like the coolness factor. A creative twist to an old weapon.


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Classified Genetic Material
Items  (Other)   (Campaign Defining)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-08-24 08:08 PM


This is an excellent starting point. I am also intrigued at the possibilities. Perhaps we should have some sort of metagaming tag for subs like this. (The programmer in me sees this and instantly thinks, "Cool, an ADT, gaming-style.")


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Prophets and Sorcerers
Lifeforms  (Ethereal)   (Any)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-08-24 08:24 PM


Ultimate power, a bit of madness, the risk of dying horribly... what's not to love about this.



I like the flavor that bleeds through. These aren't normal sorcerers who gather power through bound spirits. There is an entire ecosystem of ethereal creatures. It speaks to a larger, well-developed world, with enough similarities to standard fantasy to make it easy to grasp and enough uniqueness to set it apart.



Well done.


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Feeling Sword
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-08-24 08:33 PM


This is good. While the concept may not be new, the backstory really brought it to life for me.



I would probably put these in an area where the previous owners (having lived) discarded them. Then, I would herd the players to this spot, without weapons of their own (perhaps they were captured and are attempting to escape.) Ok, this sub brings out the evil GM in me, but I like to keep my players on their toes.



These would also be a good tool for conmen. Sell them to unsuspecting adventurers, impressing them with the cutting ability, then set upon them on the road, knowing that they would be hampered. Steal from the corpses, and repeat.


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The Vortex Well
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-08-24 08:39 PM


A tantalizing glimpse, but I would also like more detail. Perhaps an intro where the soul dies for the first time to answer the question of how he landed there. Maybe even a plot hook on how to get the adventurers in and out of such a hell, either looking to save a lost comrade or on a mission for information from the deceased (who would quite likely demand release as payment.)



I'm witholding my vote for now.


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The Hell of Half-Nothings
Locations  (TransWorld)   (Any)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-08-26 05:09 PM


This sounds like a hell born from the symptoms of depression.



I imagine that at some point the souls here would wish for a fiery hell, just so they could feel something.


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The Non
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-08-26 06:25 PM


I can imagine an order of monks who seek to reach enlightenment through entering and leaving the Non.


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Katumus
Locations  (TransWorld)   (Other)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-08-26 06:58 PM


This is excellent. 5/5


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Silveressa's Voting Practices
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Citadel Help)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-24 12:20 AM


A well thought out set of guidelines and definite food for thought.


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Tihewgoe
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Any)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-21 06:25 PM


Excellent writeup, Drackler. Not every being must be of world-shattering proportions in order to be useful or make a game enjoyable. Sometimes a little subtlety can kick off larger events or have just enough impact to affect an important outcome.


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Giant Psychic Leech Lords from Outer Space
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Swamp)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-20 07:16 PM


Fair enough. I'll see what I can cook up.

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Giant Psychic Leech Lords from Outer Space
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Swamp)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-20 07:19 PM
Ah, but these are space leeches. Different stock entirely :)

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Giant Psychic Leech Lords from Outer Space
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Swamp)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-21 08:35 AM
You only say that because you don't see the genius of my writing.

Wait, no. That's not it. ;)

This should make more sense once I've expanded it. I think I released it into the wild before it had a chance to fully mature.

It might help to picture an old-time, campy sci-fi movie when reading this: men in green rubber suits, children in poor monkey costumes, intrepid explorers with bubble helmets and ray guns.

In all seriousness, I appreciate the thoughtful criticism. I'm here to learn and such feedback is essential to that process. Go to Comment
Clarksdale
Locations  (City)   (Forest/ Jungle)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-19 06:43 PM


An excellent sub. The setting is inspiring and the personalities bring it to life.


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Clarksdale
Locations  (City)   (Forest/ Jungle)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-21 08:16 AM
Those would make excellent plot hooks, either added to the sub or as idea scrolls at the end. Go to Comment
The Leech Cloth, or The Cloth of Souls
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-19 09:37 AM
Update: As requested, I have added the origin of the cloth. Go to Comment
The Leech Cloth, or The Cloth of Souls
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-19 05:47 PM
It wasn't much of a battle. More a test of endurance. As in, can he live through being gnawed on while the sands of the hourglass fall? I was trying to paint just enough of a picture to let the reader fill in the gaps and it seemed more inline with the voice of the narrator to skip over the more gruesome parts.

I'll see what I can do about the origins of the Blood Duelist. It might fit best as an idea scroll. Go to Comment
The Leech Cloth, or The Cloth of Souls
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-07-19 11:30 PM


History of the Blood Duelist



In elder days gone by, when the world still lived in barbarity, and civilization was a new word upon the lips of man, dogs were considered to be protectors sent down by the gods. Over time the idea of protector became broader until it encompassed judgements passed upon dangerous criminals.



Dogs who were no longer capable of hunting or guarding were put to use as executioners for those convicted of violent crimes. The condemned would be bound to posts and set upon by the dogs until dead.



One such condemned man was found guilty of murder, even though all knew it was in self defense against the thug of a rich man. Unable to bear the thought of his son being torn apart by dogs, the man’s father pled to be executed instead, saying, “Let me duel the gods of judgement for my son’s life.” An allowance was made, with the added condition that if he were to survive for a set amount of time, his son would be set free.



Thus began the tradition of the Blood Duelist.


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