Just picking up a few spare parts....

Good imagery there. Go to Comment

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

You bring up some good points that I would like to address:

They were not originally villains, no. But years of being cursed have driven them mad. Are they victims? Certainly. But for all intents and purposes, they act like villains. They kill to keep themselves whole with no differentiation between innocence or guilt. They kill because they are insane and hate the living. For me, that defines a villain no matter how it happened. Tragic, yes, which I think makes the tale more pressing.

I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with them being treated only as tactical challenges. But I also don't think that that is all they are good for. Understanding their history might make characters sympathetic to their plight; working to release the knights' souls would make for a far different campaign than just defeating them and making sure the armor is good and buried once again. Go to Comment

Care to explore some of these questions in an idea scroll? :) Go to Comment

I would chalk Ugreid's actions up to capriciousness. Mortals are fools to live and die by his whim. I imagined he laughed as the once-noble knights turned upon the priests they once swore allegiance to. And then he would foment outrage against the knights for their cruelty, placing them even further from their noble beginnings.

As far as replacing armor, I would go with the buddy system (I like Echo's description.) Go to Comment

That's one of those details I think are better left up to the GM and how this is being adapted to the particular game. You could make it a sizable army, putting a clock on things; the longer they take to be stopped from amassing, the more powerful they become. Want something on a smaller scale to fit into some other storyline? Make it a few dozen or less. Maybe they can only find a few and the rest are too well hidden. Go to Comment

I second AG. This is excellent. Damned creepy, but excellent.

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I think the problem is that it is too vague and could use more details. I also think the overall theme is a little scattered (is it a creation myth? a tale about immortals?). I would suggest figuring out what the theme is and then going back through paragraph by paragraph, weighing each one against how well it fits/expands/explains that theme.  Then cut, reword, and expand as needed until the message is clear.

Just my 2 cents.

This looks more like a first draft than a polished sub, so I will also withhold my vote.

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I have read this a few times but I don't really get it. I like the language, I like the tone, but I don't understand the content. It seems too vague and disconnected.

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A useful selection of places.

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An interesting idea and a vicious torture device. When you truly want your enemy to suffer.

A conceivable variation might be to allow an outsider to share in the vision in order to gather intelligence. How better to get to know your enemy than to see how he reacts in a sandbox?

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These are all very good.

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#35 If an entire town is out looking to lynch a suspected murderer... even if you believe he's innocent, when you find him it is best not to go running after him, shouting his name while holding aloft a picture he painted of the victim. He is not likely to believe you have good intentions and might respond poorly.

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An interesting beginning and some nasty poisons.

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A good take on this event. The horror aspects are intriguing and I can see how this would have made an excellent introduction to the planned campaign.

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Beware the evil, biting comode.

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Lots of excellent, well-thought-out ideas.

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I love it! This is shaping up to be a truly new and creative setting. Good language, excellent imagery. I look forward to reading more.

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Eden

Eden began as a standard ag station, just one of many bearing the same design and function across many systems with minimal habitable areas. This particular class of agricultural station was designed to produce food with great efficiency. Looking like a gigantic parabolic dish with a glass-like cone covering the concave side, they are little more than gigantic floating greenhouses, facing the nearest sun to collect and provide light.

Originally designated E115-G0532A and placed near a newly colonized world, Eden’s purpose was to provide food for the colony until it became self-sustaining; at which point it would be decommissioned. However, near the end of it’s designated life a group of dissatisfied colonists staged a nonviolent takeover of the station, proclaimed it Eden, and proceeded to build their own version of Utopia. They work by committee, grow their own food, weave their own clothing, and worship the Goddess of The Vine. Contact with the outside world is done through trade of foodstuffs. It is a well-known “secret” that they sell a range of natural narcotics. Mixed within the carrots, beets, and cabbages are a variety of consciousness-altering plants, tinctures, foods, and powders.

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I agree with Pieh; another excellent sub on The Untold War. I look forward to more.

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