I would add some more tidbits, like a Ma-O cult for example, and a maybe a little darker backstory, but thats just me. It seems it could be drawn out into a slightly longer more detailed sub. I like the overall concept quite a bit however! Go to Comment
Scras- I kind of thought it was blaise when we spoke about it earlier, but then you went and introduced cigarretes, for what I believe, (Moon will tell me if I'm wrong) the first time in the annals of pseudo-medieval fantasy city lore, or at least Strolens annals. GGGGgggreat!
sorry- Its St. Patty's day and I'm mildly trashed :D and I can use a Zettelette Go to Comment
Moon, this is one of my favorite of your submissions! I've been running a LOW-magic campaign for years now and wish I had more of such items to pepper my world with! So rich in detail & texture, yet not powerful (at all)!! The symbols, the imagery!! Nowadays when I think of "wizards" and "magic" THIS IS WHAT I HAVE IN MIND!! I LOVE IT!!!
at some point tonight I'll be getting another HoH thinga-ma-jiggy, and then off you go upstairs.
Pussycat Dolls doing Shakespeare! That says it all!
This adds a lot of color and realism to any world or campaign. No combat, no mystery (necessarily) as you mention, which is great! An additional plot hook might be a bard character trying to get Chardonne and Jonquille to agree to stage one of his or her original plays. Or how about one of the chracters falling in love with one the ladies or vice versa. Finally, the characters attend a play during some down time, only to be mocked when the Filles D'Rame put on a parody performance of the pc's last adventure (the ladies have heard of group's exploits through the grapevine), with some improvisational bawdry romance thrown in for laughs, or some inaccurate tragedy involving one of the characters which didn't really occur! Go to Comment
Scras, I like all your work as you know. This is not one of my favorites, but after linking over to Leviathan, I see what the point of this is. It makes for fun reading regardless whether I like the sword or not. I like the weaknesses section and Ma-O's Disciples might make a great sub of its own.
The Thrice-Drowned-Priest leads his flock to the storm-raging seashore, damp sea-weed falling from his hair and robes. "Listen to the ROAR of Ma-O my wet ones!! From the Ocean we crawled, and to the Ocean we shall all return!!" Go to Comment
The conversation is key to this sub I think! (everything in italics). It makes it come alive. This is hard for me to judge for some reason. Its a great story about a basic bank/loansharking outfit, but I guess that's the idea here. So let me just say I enjoyed reading it. The details, obvious effort, and connection with Kings Paupers put it over the top for the extra 1/2 sword
I like the Templar-esque, deposit money here, withdraw money someplace else angle. And I really like the name Tam Josgar. It just fits! Not crazy about the other names however. Go to Comment
"Thats the key. How do you describe how a fantasy financial bank/ extortion ring comes to existance?"
IMHO, thats NOT the key. A bank is a bank is a bank. The sub has the necessary verisimilitude and backstory. I think the *key* is adding nuance, idiosynchrasies, texture and detail, both applicable and tangential(!). Its fantasy. Add something fantastic that makes it unique, without ruining the original concept. Again, this is just IMHO. Go to Comment