1. Mineral oils? What are those? That sounds interesting. 2. like the tunnel maze and love the plot-hook!
3. love the name Knadric Yaar, but the maze could use some oomph. 4. great visual on the horizon
5. hmmm, its ok
6. A massive, Gothic (gargoyles) dwarven bridge is a pretty cool idea. Plot-hook: Bridge over the river Kwai!! 7. again, great visual
Ok, I LOVE!! the concept of the Seven Wonders of the Dwarven World. Wish I thought of it first! But this could really use a once-over on spelling, punct, line breaks, etc and maybe a few more inspiring bits on each.
Ahh, the priest-hood of the "Concluders", or the "Closers" in sales parlance :-) I like the line about artists seeing the priests and deity as the bane of True Art.
I first read this at 2am last night, then proceeded to have a dream wherein a Mathomite challenged an Othammite to a duel to the death. The Mathomite failed to show up on the chosen day however. The Othammite waited only briefly, unsurprised, then went back to getting other things done. Go to Comment
I also like the imagery. Reads like one of those international uber-clubs in Ibiza. I like the twist that this was done as a 5-room dungeon as well. For the right game, this could provide a barrel of fun. Go to Comment
Solstice celebration and St. Mark's Day are deeply amusing. Ganymede one rocks, as if pulled straight from actual headlines. Human pets, i have to say, I'm not "feeling". Too controversial, even for the "future". How there can be "humans" that live 15-17 years and remain pre-pubescent as pets(!) is beyond me...
I love this sub because its a great format for letting the reader get to know the world with brief but detailed and vivid, bullet-points, without the techno-mech. Not that there is anything wrong with techno-mech :-) Go to Comment
Human pets was the one I found the most interesting.
I didn't say they weren't interesting. They are extremely interesting! I'm just saying, as I read these i sniff for "future-verisimilitude", and that one doesn't pass the smell test. Go to Comment
Ok, read it finally. Now have to go pass out from exhaustion :-) But not before saying, this is outstanding and I really enjoyed reading it. Some solid dwarvisms and an original voice! Go to Comment
I love the idea that is shining through here, but I do find myself asking similar questions to the ones Dossta and axle are asking. +1 for the dwarvy "feel"of the item. I can see these beds as part of an overall dwarven "canon". Go to Comment
I am actually impressed with how you wove it all together and added to "the funny". Also, Dragonlordmax stole my thunder with his line:-) Go to Comment
"(stream videos of prior rioter's fates, in full HD!)"
"Instead of a cop with a bullhorn, each shield flickers between warning imagery, stay back, desist and disperse and talking heads extolling the virtue of going away peacefully followed by a litany of offenses that will be incurred if protestors or rioters persist. All I can see is the thin face of Grand Moff Tarken on a cycle: go home, your govt cares about you, resistors will be shot"
Locations (Other) (Other)
:-) Go to Comment