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The Nexus
Locations  (City)   (Other)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-06-10 08:59 AM
It's like a weird yet delightful xfiles meets a doctor who episode. I agree with Val that it needs a bad guy or possible group of antagonists. If a villain is added I can see this in a modern day Cthulhu if added right. Possibly even a modern era supers where a new group comes through that have similar powers of our comic book heroes. Go to Comment
Time Zombie
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (City/ Ruin)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-06-09 08:48 AM
Ok. I like this. Some crazy form of a Romero movie meets The movie In Time. It's really creepy to have undead act in a way we normally wouldn't think such as have intelligence, move exceptionally fast, or shift through time. I like it it's unique to me.

I can see a pack of these however taking over and effectively beating a powerful group off players having three or four of these in a group could decimate the ranks of powerful characters which begs the question, how many do you encounter at once? If it is just one then these Time Zombies must be really powerful.

One aspect you didn't hit on was why they were created. They don't look to me as being very good guards since they have a main goal of stealing time from someone to get their life back and the fact they can teleport through time seems unstable to have them in a keep or fortification to protect an evil bad guy without having the worry of them turning on them.

Another thing I don't understand is you said it is not contagious which leads me to believe they are only created as Time Zombies, see previous remark, yet they Turn their victims into a Time Zombie taking their place. Quite quickly i might add. It seems it is inevitable once they hit you your doomed.

Not that this is bad, but it seems far to over powered. If you see one of these things it seems almost impossible to kill it because of the shifting ability and it seems it's a sure thing that it will turn someone.

If that is what you were going for than kudos. I love impossible encounters that the players can not win by might alone. Which makes me wonder if there is only one of these since they seem so damn impossible to destroy then perhaps there is only one of them.

I can see my group of players trap their companion that was infected by the zombie and await an evil bad guy to infect to transfer the condition.

Like I said I love it. It's devious and brutal, other than the few issues I noted personally, I think this is a grand zombie. Go to Comment
Time Zombie
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (City/ Ruin)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-06-10 08:25 AM
I think what Val is saying it seems that the zombie only has to hit you once in order to steal your life force. There are creatures in other systems that have a specialized attack that takes affect only after a series of attacks.

For instance claw, claw, bite. The zombie claws at their victim with each claw. Each successful claw is a wounding hit but is intended to sink in and grab a hold. Once both claws are successful and their victim is held they make a bite attack to drain their victim. Similar to a vampire, which is what I was thinking in the beginning but instead of blood they drink it is your "soul" or your "chi".

Doing it this way gives the victim a chance to break free with a contested strength check or some such roll. Some people may not be strong enough to break free or even fast enough to defend from the two claw attacks. Not saying you need to change it but I think that is what Val is kind of getting at. Go to Comment
Tuner Mages
Society/ Organizations  (Mystical)   (Country/ State)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-06-07 09:03 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
7 Things I've Learned
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Gaming - In General)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-09-05 05:28 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Puppeteer Beetle
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-06-01 10:16 PM
yep... I try. Go to Comment
Puppeteer Beetle
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-06-02 12:09 PM
Food wouldn't be the issue it would be water. Water is the one source that every things "alive" needs. In a non-fantasy setting that is. However, a Namib Desert beetle dwells in one of the most arid areas with only 1.4 cm (0.5 inch) of rain per year, and has developed a unique technique to survive by obtaining water from early morning fogs.

Mother nature will find a way to make an area that shouldn't be lived in livable for something. Go to Comment
The Truth about Dragons
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-05-29 10:05 PM
Definitely different. Go to Comment
Online Roleplaying
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Gaming - In General)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-05-29 07:32 AM
I would just continue it on as an added scroll not a separate sub. Go to Comment
Justice Served
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-05-28 12:43 PM
That is where the issue is coming from. IPad simply does not really like a lot about this site. The Full chat is an ongoing headache if you are on it with your iPad. Go to Comment
Locations  (City)   (Desert)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-05-23 07:29 PM
Interesting, more information about the ecology would be a nice tough... Go to Comment
Surgeon Birds
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Swamp)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-05-23 07:33 PM
This is a pretty cool idea. It has some function to it that would definitely scare the hell out of a group of players that see a swarm of these mob a single victim and leave a husk dropping limply to the earth before their eyes only to turn and run when the birds see them and begin swarming in their direction. Go to Comment
Surgeon Birds
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Swamp)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-05-29 07:33 AM
I had completely forgotten about the stirge.. .damn those things. Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-05-23 07:43 PM
Ok, I don't get it. Its a cursed tree. Cool. It is created by cutting or ripping the head off of a beast/ creature and sticking it to the tree. Cool. It attacks, but only once, to no real affect other than hopefully killing its prey. I don't understand that part. I am not saying it isn't good but to me it needs more to make sense. The following is points I had thoughts on.

1) Perhaps this is just me. maybe if there was more information, or any information mind you, on the Deathwalkers it could have clarified some of what I feel is missing. The name sounds interesting but it brings forth visions of undead and cursed not of a pissed off treant walking around with animal heads sprouting from its body. I realize that it is not the case but I'm trying to rationalize it some.

2) Why does it kill or have prey? It is a protection of an area? Perhaps these Deathwalkers create these animal head trees to surround holy ground or some such sanctuary.

3) What, if any, does the death of their prey benefit the tree? Seems to me like if it is not used as a protective or defensive barrier then the blood or soul of those it kills is usable. Perhaps the soul of those killed by one of these trees turn into a Deathwalker. just a thought.

By the way, deathwalkers and Dembraava Wilds bring forth wonderful imagery just by their names alone.
Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-05-24 07:08 AM
You can have a fauna style trap, that's fine. Just a reason for it would be nice. I'll read the Deathwalker sub first chance. Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-05-25 12:00 AM

There are rumors of a hidden glade deep in the forest, ringed by dozens of towering oaks, each with dozens of eldest lupine dendrognaths leering from their trunks. And in the center of the glade, stairs downward.This only explains the possibility of why they are in this one area not the rest of the wilds.

I don't think it explains it enough to make sense. If that is the only place these things are found then its perfect but by reading it it seems they are scattered throughout the wilds in a random half hazard order. It still doesn't give a reason why they are made or why they only attack once. Unless I am simply missing it somewhere.

Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-05-25 07:15 AM
The Wilds hating humans is port of important information. Knowing that makes this much clearer. Put everything you just said in that last explanation and it will change my vote. Good job its fleshing out to be a wonderfully, horrible place. Go to Comment
30 Simple Rhyming Riddles
Articles  (Resource)   (Game Mastering)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-05-21 10:55 PM
Interesting... not spectacular but ok. Go to Comment
The Cane of Abdication
Items  (Other)   (Cursed)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-05-02 05:37 PM

This bespeaks a bit of Final Destination where death itself causes random almost innocent events of chance that cause the most horrific ends. Wonderful item. A tad bit interesting and flavorful. To bad it usually ends up in death, I would make it not so detrimental unless kept for a very long time. Perhaps the random accidents get increasingly worse the longer the item is used. All in all though I liked it.

Go to Comment
Replacing A Traitor.
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2012-04-29 09:58 PM

Holy crap this is going ot take me a week to read... Kudos on being complete Cheka... and I will be honest I haven't finished reading this yet so I won't vote now.

I will say this though. A few things irk me.

  • The yellow font color hurts my eyes and is very hard to read.

  • The different font sizes and types from chapter to chapter seems rather odd. Some the of the longer entries having really small font size making my eyes hurt once again from squinting from reading it.

  • Some very odd grammer and spelling issues as well. Some sentences not capitalized or having correct punctuation. I can understand as it is such a huge sub you have done and sometimes your mind plays tricks on you when you write so much.

I will vote on this when I can finish it.

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