Much better than I had originally thought. This has been on my iPad since it came up and I have been forcing myself not to read it. But I like it. Seems rushed in a few places but well thought out in most others. Kudos to you scras this puts forth a decent format that I might follow in the near future. Go to Comment
I see these as needing a pretty large hive to hold all that was described. Large enough so it would be virtually impossible to walk up unawares on a hive. A single wasp outside their hive however is possible but I don't see the "I'll sting you if threatened." aspect. These things are large enough to not be threatened but have an overbearing type action mentality. It's a foot long wasp what is there that it would feel threatened. Go to Comment
As typical with more and more subs lately I read and have comments but due to something that doesn't set with me I am having issues voting in them.
A few points from me. When reading this something didn't sit well. I was expecting details or rules on how to implement ways to railroad impatient players but instead, like Moon said, this is more a plot. It seems far to specific for an article. Far to specific to be put into any campaign, and much like a campaign would almost have to be built around it. Which if that is what the intent is than it isn't bad.
Something else that gets me. All the quote blocks. I understand that you use them to change from point to point to separate them but I think it is over done a tad. This is just a personal peeve of mine and I find the over use of them extremely distracting from subs.
I can't say if this is a good sub or not as it isn't an article but as plots go it needs more information to complete it. Not saying other people won't like it but as for me. I I were to vote at the most I would vote is a 2 but since I have chosen not to vote on subs unless I fnd them very useful I won't derail those who like it by voting low. Go to Comment
Instead of asking for help in the sub itself to possibly derail its purpose you should instead make a post in the Advice section of the forums with a link back to here that way the true comments on the sub are kept here but the advice on the growth of the sub stay hidden. Go to Comment
It's like a weird yet delightful xfiles meets a doctor who episode. I agree with Val that it needs a bad guy or possible group of antagonists. If a villain is added I can see this in a modern day Cthulhu if added right. Possibly even a modern era supers where a new group comes through that have similar powers of our comic book heroes. Go to Comment
Ok. I like this. Some crazy form of a Romero movie meets The movie In Time. It's really creepy to have undead act in a way we normally wouldn't think such as have intelligence, move exceptionally fast, or shift through time. I like it it's unique to me.
I can see a pack of these however taking over and effectively beating a powerful group off players having three or four of these in a group could decimate the ranks of powerful characters which begs the question, how many do you encounter at once? If it is just one then these Time Zombies must be really powerful.
One aspect you didn't hit on was why they were created. They don't look to me as being very good guards since they have a main goal of stealing time from someone to get their life back and the fact they can teleport through time seems unstable to have them in a keep or fortification to protect an evil bad guy without having the worry of them turning on them.
Another thing I don't understand is you said it is not contagious which leads me to believe they are only created as Time Zombies, see previous remark, yet they Turn their victims into a Time Zombie taking their place. Quite quickly i might add. It seems it is inevitable once they hit you your doomed.
Not that this is bad, but it seems far to over powered. If you see one of these things it seems almost impossible to kill it because of the shifting ability and it seems it's a sure thing that it will turn someone.
If that is what you were going for than kudos. I love impossible encounters that the players can not win by might alone. Which makes me wonder if there is only one of these since they seem so damn impossible to destroy then perhaps there is only one of them.
I can see my group of players trap their companion that was infected by the zombie and await an evil bad guy to infect to transfer the condition.
Like I said I love it. It's devious and brutal, other than the few issues I noted personally, I think this is a grand zombie. Go to Comment
I think what Val is saying it seems that the zombie only has to hit you once in order to steal your life force. There are creatures in other systems that have a specialized attack that takes affect only after a series of attacks.
For instance claw, claw, bite. The zombie claws at their victim with each claw. Each successful claw is a wounding hit but is intended to sink in and grab a hold. Once both claws are successful and their victim is held they make a bite attack to drain their victim. Similar to a vampire, which is what I was thinking in the beginning but instead of blood they drink it is your "soul" or your "chi".
Doing it this way gives the victim a chance to break free with a contested strength check or some such roll. Some people may not be strong enough to break free or even fast enough to defend from the two claw attacks. Not saying you need to change it but I think that is what Val is kind of getting at. Go to Comment
Food wouldn't be the issue it would be water. Water is the one source that every things "alive" needs. In a non-fantasy setting that is. However, a Namib Desert beetle dwells in one of the most arid areas with only 1.4 cm (0.5 inch) of rain per year, and has developed a unique technique to survive by obtaining water from early morning fogs.
Mother nature will find a way to make an area that shouldn't be lived in livable for something. Go to Comment