Thanks Axle, I didn't mean that I will avoid the all-seeing perspective, merely stating that I think that I have do more work on this area to make it have the effect it should have. I don't see you as "picky" at all, I actually want my readers to be "picky". That's why I posted here as opposed to one of these places like Wattpad or Booksie (haven't interacted with the community there yet but seems like platforms where massive amt of fiction is posted and everyone can subscribe and read so I'm thinking the readers won't be as picky. I read Internet fic in my native tongue and I know they are quite low quality on average but I didn't mind so much cos just entertainment value).
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What you said about the spotlight is very apt description of the current trouble I have with this perspective- part of it is my stream-of-consciousness writing habit and I find it's hard to get this spotlight thingy right for a newbie like me without putting conscious thought into this aspect. Also, when I do my edits later, I'm very good at picking out spelling and grammar mistakes and small non-clarities but not any big thing like your feedback is providing me. I really need time to chill down so that I can switch mindset to perform a quality review of my own work. So yes, this moving b/w character perspectives will definitely go into my checklist for priority aspect to fix for the second draft.