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The Lockzennites
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Regional)
Moonlake's comment on 2010-10-22 12:13 AM

I quite like the underlying concept. Execution is also solid. The itallic bits in particular do heighten the atmosphere well. However, this piece somehow left me logically impressed while its emotional content didn't seem to have come across much in the overall sense. In aggregate, I still think this is a decent piece, hence the median score.

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The Mirr of the Mirror-Folk
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Other)
Moonlake's comment on 2011-02-10 09:23 PM

An intriguing concept. Overall, I think the sub brings out the evolution of the Mirror-folk very well. Also, I especially like the first paragraph of Closing Thoughts.

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Uriankhai Horsehead Fiddle
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2010-12-22 03:58 PM

A highly atmospheric piece. HoHing it so that more eyes can see this well-written piece.

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The Grand Order of the Reef
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Area)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-05-31 05:03 AM
Only suggestion is to fix up the typos, I found a few:
Under History, 3rd paragraph- deemed "too" expensive;
Under Grand Order, I was under the impression that the proposition after the word "preside" should be "over" rather than "of";
Cuttlefish Order- "breathing" is spelled w/o the h
Coral Buckle- in the 1st half of the 1st sentence, you mean to say "Considered to be", right? the current phrasing is weird
Ray- should be "likened" rather than "liked"
Beyond Boshic- "fiery" spelled as firey

Other than that, I would say it's very structured and the details are very good. Go to Comment
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Artistic/Performance)
Moonlake's comment on 2016-01-16 06:49 PM
Agreed with Val, quite good as an idea seed in fact. Go to Comment
The Fares Family of Deities
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-17 02:25 AM
I quite like the write-up of this family of Gods and the setting when you explained the inspiration for them. But I think some of the background needs to be expanded eg. who tempered with the contract b/w Retir & Dharina and why.
btw, I think the bracer thing that you mentioned are called armguards
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Dew Nettle
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Plains)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-19 01:02 AM
Short and sweet. Go to Comment
The many ways to intelligence
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - In General)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-02-01 12:40 AM
Very informative for the purpose described by author Go to Comment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Campaign Defining)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-11-16 09:52 PM
I think all I want to say have been covered above. Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Water)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-11-08 08:47 PM
Typo alert- 2 "ins" being typed as "is". 1st one- 2nd last line of 1st paragraph. 2nd one- 1st line of 2nd paragraph under Life of a Flaming Blot.

I think my vote is the essence of my comment- "Good solid idea. Nothing fancy, just a great, useable, quality submission"

Somehow, though, it reminds me of global warming. Maybe in the fantasy world, melting of ice in Arctic isn't due to global warming but rather to Ghlims'Kurch'En! Go to Comment
Imp Fire
Plots  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-11-04 12:27 AM
A solid idea even though it doesn't fit the current category well. Personally, I don't think it's that rambling but it certainly discourages one from reading it at first because it seems really long without breaks. I think breaking up the sub into separate headings (eg. Symptoms and Cures) would improve its readability quite a bit. Go to Comment
Chapter 6: The Sabatallee
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-02-16 07:33 PM
As for the Ivanvill, the society and culture section really grabbed me. The phases, social rankings and the attitude towards deserved fat are just awesome details that really bring this bunch of nomads alive. Go to Comment
Flame Fowl
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-11-04 12:07 AM
A soild piece, well detailed. Go to Comment
Fire Flies
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-11-04 12:17 AM
Quite a solid sub.

Typo alert: 2nd paragraph, end of 3rd line- "cause" much harm. Go to Comment
Lost Idea
Lifeforms  (Ethereal)   (City/ Ruin)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-08-17 09:56 PM
A very logical neat concept. Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Plains)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-06-19 02:57 AM
A well-detailed sub, presented in a scientific way. Go to Comment
Trinket of the Mariner's Son
Items  (Art and Music)   (Non-Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-09 11:39 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
NPCs  (Extras)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-06-01 09:15 PM
Short and sweet as always. The plot hooks are quite nice.
A few typos:
2nd line- "performs" spelled w/o the r;
1st sentence of 3rd paragraph a bit off in phrasing
Origin paragraph 2nd last line- others view "him"
All the apostraphes are gone Go to Comment
Saltscale Lizardfolk
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Water)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-05-31 08:34 PM
minor typo- should be "peaceable"
An okay sub in completeness and logic, adding in some plot hooks might be nice and I personally would help it to achieve better scores. Go to Comment
The Many
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Water)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-05-26 08:01 PM
As a half greenie, I quite like the idea of oceanic polluting changing the behaviour of otherwise harmless fishes into "predators of predators". Overall, a solid sub. Go to Comment
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