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The Road
Locations  (TransWorld)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-07-05 11:25 PM
Quite nice concept, simple but having great utility uses. Go to Comment
Fungus Spear
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Non-Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-21 01:38 AM
I'm with d_d on his pt of having more symptoms for the fungus, otherwise, this is a solid sub Go to Comment
Coldfire Urn
Items  (Other)   (Campaign Defining)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-02-19 11:57 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
The Mask of the White Witch
Items  (Clothes)   (Cursed)
Moonlake's comment on 2011-02-20 10:58 PM

A well written piece. I especially like the coherence of this item's magical effects to the backstory.

Go to Comment
The Green Sword
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-21 12:01 AM
I'm with Echo on this, a 3 it is. This has potential but I don't vote on potentials, only how it is. Go to Comment
The Wheezing Dragon
Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-18 12:05 AM
I like the simpleness of this plot but personally, I do not like the bit abt the evil black dragon much nor the implied thing abt the PCs have to help out or else.
*Commented on for the Commenting Challenge Go to Comment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 06:28 AM
After reading thru the comments and all, I think this is an okay idea. However, in the actual reading, I was misled into thinking into someone blackmailed a mage into making a Foolblade with its current curse set in which confused me. It wasn't until I read the comments, I realised that what happened was the mage was blackmailed into making a weapon and she put in the curse to pay the person back. Therefore, 0.5 points deducted, making this 2.5.
*Commented on for the Commenting Challenge Go to Comment
City of Venerability
Locations  (Other)   (City)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 05:32 AM
The core idea of this place being a rumor is okay and there's nothing flawed abt it in terms of content but the structure of this piece is just all over the place and that's where this is a 2.
*Commented on for the Commenting Challenge Go to Comment
A man that needs a drink
Plots  (Duty)   (Side-Quest)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 05:30 AM
The core idea of a plot that largely serves to confuse players is okay but I think the bit abt the drunken staying in the same bar for 3 years and starting a barfight with anyone attempting to steal the note from him a bit of a logical flaw as it implies that somehow he has the note very securely kept around his person OR he's somehow the best fighter in terms of a bar-fight which I find hard to believe.
*Commented on for the Commenting Challenge Go to Comment
Book of Fury
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Heroic)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-19 09:21 PM
Short and sweet. Go to Comment
The Meerschaum Smoking Man
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-11 10:18 PM
A good 'informant' type NPC with his own ulterior motives.
*Commented on for the Commenting Challenge. Go to Comment
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-03-16 06:14 PM
I would have liked a bit more touch up on the presentation eg. maybe the first big chunk of text under Background could go into a blockquote or flufftext format (borrowing from Scras' terminology) aka italics.

But this certainly doesn't detract from the quality of the idea. Very usable in gameplay as well as just from a literary point of view. Go to Comment
Weaves of Caging
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-04 05:56 AM
An item useful both as background material and for having more active role in a setting. Personally, I really like all types of mundane or utility items. Go to Comment
The Accursed Heirloom
Plots  (Discovery)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 08:23 PM
A good open-ended plot.
*Commented on for the Commenting Challenge Go to Comment
Saber Rat
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Combative)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-18 01:38 AM
The fundamental idea is there (and as far as the bg goes, it's okay, but the way it's written makes things seem abrupt) but I can't give it a 3 because the amount of details given doesn't support such a score.
*Commented on for the Commenting Challenge
Go to Comment
The See-through Assassin
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2011-02-21 12:48 AM

A truly devious construct

Go to Comment
The Art of Healing
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-20 07:23 PM
The myth is excellent and also, I just happen to like all utility item subs. Go to Comment
Claw of the heart
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-22 01:58 AM
Aside from editorial issues, the story of Hensaz wasn't badly written although on the actual item, it's really just sth that will get whoever acquires it killed in prob. no time unless it's picked up by a hermit living in a place with nobody else. I will go with a vote of 2 as well since as it is, I think it could be some random story told by an odd old man who goes around villages telling stories or sth (like Belgara in the Belgariad by David Eddings) Go to Comment
Demano Demois
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-22 07:44 PM
A classic 2 to me, no logic flaws but just too sparse in details. Go to Comment
Cloak of Wailing Misery
Items  (Clothes)   (Cursed)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 03:15 AM
Agreed with Val.
*Commented on for the Commenting Challenge Go to Comment
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