Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Vartanadel
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-14 06:08 PM
Solid idea and write-up. I can see the set-up of this society (with the Naming and all) will lead to a lot of intrigues and plots although I must say I personally never like pieces with so much political 'fickleness' implied. I was going to vote for a 3 but then decided against voting at all in case my personal bias will lead me to vote less objectively than I otherwise would.

Also, for some reason, you've got ddd attached in 2 places at the end of your words, once in the summary and once in the first heading 
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The Leonamuth
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Desert)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-04 02:24 AM
A fairly solid usable addition to the Corpsefall as well as any general setting. Go to Comment
The Leonamuth
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Desert)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-13 08:21 PM
test vote
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Hesayan Victory Mounds
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-12 11:36 PM
I know, occasionally I have the same issue, I've been known to edit subs just b/c later I felt the particular category I submitted it in didn't fit. Yeah, I personally think the Other category fits the Mounds better. Go to Comment
Hesayan Victory Mounds
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-12 10:16 PM
A solid piece, somewhat mundane but likeable. I don't know why but this sub conjures Oriental images (maybe b/c Chinese/Jap garden decorations with rocks?)

Slight quibble, I don't quite understand why you categorise this sub as a continent. These victory mounds might be a common sight on a particular continent in the Canterra setting but surely they are not the continent itself. Go to Comment
A Raiding Of Tauria
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-12 07:40 PM
I actually quite like this simple somewhat mundane plot. In particular, I like Part 3 and how this sub incorporates some moral elements and allows for changing objectives for PCs as they learn new info. Go to Comment
Skezemos Library
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-12 07:07 PM
A good quality sub that seamlessly combines the story on Skezemo and the library itself. Go to Comment
Argnid
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-10 08:33 PM
A solid monster lifeform and bonus marks for the image. Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-09 10:32 PM
I like the properties of these Pommel Stones being wrapped in the story of this mace. A quite likeable sub overall. Go to Comment
Trianarianism
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Regional)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-09 07:12 PM
I actually quite like this faith system in that it provides a somewhat refreshing take on morals/life principles. I particularly like the afterlife and myth sections. However, like some of the previous comments, I have some problem with the concept that there could be evil altruists. Go to Comment
Trianarianism
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Regional)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-09 10:47 PM
Okay, if this is what you have in mind, then I think a evil cultist would fit right in. Sth along the lines of "I'm doing xxx (evil action) b/c it will contribute to the cause of Cult xxxx and benefit all of my fellow members". I guess this is sort of the opposite case of being involved in charity for selfish reasons i.e to make a name for yourself/broaden your network of connections/create a positive image etc.


btw, saw the edit and liked them. They are not substantial enough for me to revote but I do still think they improve this piece. 

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Trianarianism
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Regional)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-30 10:41 PM
Although I find this sub more fully fleshes out Trianarianism compared to what I've read pre-Cataclysm, I have the following two questions:
1. I know a large part of this sub is the actual religious text but just wondering that given the set-up at the start, why is it important for the Three to stop ppl from turning away from their worship? As far as I understand it, they need to keep the balance b/w themselves and are interested in maintaining the world Atheus (i.e. make sure it doesn't get destroyed). But as the sub currently stands, it doesn't lead me to have any pre-disposition as to thinking that the Three actually cares abt getting worshipped.
2. The Deific Antangonist section, I was somehow expecting a set of opposing deities for the Three but instead it's just abt the re-discovery of Trianarianism and then it branches off into angels and devils. I also get the impression that the Lunists and the Barbarianism's Polytheism (which you haven't released yet) might be the actual 'antagonists' so maybe just change the heading to prevent such mis-leading impressions?

Meanwhile, my gut feeling tells me that I'm still leaning towards my old vote. I appreciate the effort put into this particular piece and they have all improved the sub from previous versions. For example, in this current version, I like the fact that in practice section has been expanded quite a bit. But sorry to say that I cannot say that the improvements are substantial enough for me to upvote this particular piece. Go to Comment
Three Unusual Types Of Fire
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-09 07:15 PM
The Green Slime is fantastic (contains both elements of originality and utility), the Ash Fire is also somewhat new but Holy Fire seems somewhat lack-lustre compared to the other two. Anyway, I still think this is a high quality sub overall. Go to Comment
My Voting Practices
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Citadel Help)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-08 11:21 PM
I like the fact that you clearly spell out your own interpretation on each of the possible scores. For me, this sub is 3.5. Go to Comment
An Ode To The Colour Red
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-07 07:29 PM
I like this system of blood magic- being quite powerful but also offset by major dangers. I personally think this might fit better into a modern setting rather than fantasy (not sure whether medieval people know abt the concept of iron and minerals intakes and linkage with health, but then they might have known)

P.S. At first I got gibberish when I wrote down the bolded letters and I thought it was some arcane language you invented yourself but then I realise you have to read it backwards to get the sentence. Go to Comment
The Stitchers Amulet
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-05 11:53 PM
A good solid item for a Spider Cult and good description on the amulet. The history abt the pact with Gyatharmar is likeable as well. Go to Comment
The Worm's Nurse - Part 2
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-06 12:16 AM
Besides a few spelling mistakes, nothing majorly wrong with this piece. Is your 2 subs titled The Worm's Nurse a novel you are planning to write? If so, you might like to join the novel writing group which basically overlaps with the Weaver Guild at the moment. The forum thread is http://strolen.com/guild/index.php/topic,6293.msg77226/topicseen.html#new. Go to Comment
The Worm's Nurse - Part 1
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-06 12:04 AM
So far so good. This piece has mystery- the hint of humans being turned into cows? and excitement- Botia and her encounter with the worm. Any specific areas you want comment on or still needing general feedback? Go to Comment
The Worm's Nurse - Part 1
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-06 06:01 AM
Well, I'm female and I don't have problem with a setting featuring abuse of women- I mean abuse of women is a part of reality back in history and hence any fantasy setting in general since most are based on medieval times (and I'm an avid fan of fantasy, granted, most don't focus on abuse of women that much, but there are refs here and there and I don't have no probs with them). Anyway, in terms of this piece, I'm fine with it b/c the abusing part was part of the story and not some attempt to degrade women or anything. Go to Comment
Gardener Pfloem Dark Naturalist
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-05 11:41 PM
As a sub, this is a high quality and comprehensive one. However, as a character write-up, it seems to be somewhat lacking. Same as Forganthus, I'm currently seeing him as just another scholarly/wizardly character with an obsession and nothing much to set him apart from others belonging to this category (although, the fact that his life depends on this obsession of his is a far more credible reason for his obsession than him just having an obsession fullstop as often happen with other characters of this genre and I do like this bit of background that you put in) Go to Comment
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