Kaish and Meana Summary
Retired fisher and net peddler
Old Kaish, as he is known as around the village, is a stick of a man. Already in his seventies, he is now a wizened old man who walks stooped over. Yet, this has not always been so- only a few years back, he could work like any other young men. It was a stroke that reduced him to his current state.
Family and Life
Like most of the young men at White Rock, Kaish was once a sailor but settled down to be a fisher when he got married. He has only one son who was never found after out fishing on a stormy night and his daughter-in-law soon followed her husband’s footsteps. His own wife had also passed away quite a number of years back. He has one granddaughter, Meana, who lives with him and makes the nets that they make their livings from.
Kaish is the one who taught Bendolf the skill of trapping fish. He in fact hoped that Bendolf would get together with Meana. Unfortunately, both of them only saw each other as friends. Even worse, Meana has fallen for one of the two troublemakers, Bobrus. Kaish deeply disapproves of this but it seems there is little he can do.
Old Kaish still likes to talk about the old days before he settled down and according to him, he had been through lots of foreign lands and had many adventures back then. Many of his stories are as coloured as those of Padalos’.
The other thing that he does incessantly is to complain about those two troublemakers. He often glares at one of them in particular. Go to Comment
Another short and sweet submission that is very self-contained. If you are looking for ideas for expanding it, then maybe provide more details on who descreated the pair of Gravestompers and why, although if you do that, it would probably be a story of a evil cult or necromancer and then might fall into cliche and this might've been the reason you only had such a short history. (I wasn't sure if you just wanted general comments or wanted input into expanding it when you said let you know what I as reader think but here's both anyway).
Currently as it stands, would vote 3.5 but not sure if you want to expand it so withholding vote at the moment.
Oh, and I esp. like the italic text, it enhances the atmosphere of the piece substantially.
Finally typo alert- 3rd paragraph of magical properties, 1st line- all the it's should be "its" Go to Comment
I like the sub as it is w/o any fluff but like Valadaar, I also feel this sub can be more somehow. Also, personally I feel somehow the sub becomes a bit disjointed when moving from the first paragraph to the second. Go to Comment
The quote that Ouroboros just mentioned above has my head spinning (in a good way) but I see it as the essence and magic of this sub. I'm currently out of votes so will come back tmr to vote. Go to Comment
A basic 3.5 for being short, direct and complete. +0.5 for delving into the racism theme (I'm a fan of stories delving into any kind of meaningful/thought provoking life issues, hence Lord of the Rings remains my all time fav) Go to Comment