Strolen\s Citadel content. 
A Dwarf on the Water
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-02-05 06:45 PM
Okay, finally finished. The glimpse into Parna dwarven society in this sub is awesome and while reflection of human truisms is less compared with that Priest story (that's a personal taste thing really), this sub also has a little of that in it as well. The thing about the diff b/w written and spoke word I can empathise with but the wording used has a slight effect of throwing me in modern day. I also noted the same thing about the Goddess' voice as Scras. Overall, though, I still think this is high quality fiction. Really like the ending exchange b/w Gorn and Kii and how Kii now having possession of her own soul rather than any of the Parnan deities. Go to Comment
A Dwarf on the Water
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-02-06 12:11 AM
Yep, understood what you were trying to do, just mentioning my own particular reader taste wrt the human truism aspects, not necessarily saying there should be more or less of them for this piece. On the diff. b/w spoken and written word, I'm referring to the characters' dialog, how this idea was expressed by Gorn.

I agree Kii's characterisation needs more work, still not quite sure why the Goddess thinks her soul so valuable even after the Goddess explained explicitly. For me, Kii comes out mostly as curious until the exchange at the very end with Gorn where she really hit the nail on the head. Dialogue, well, not an aspect that I really value in a fiction piece. I love beautiful prose and I love deep and meaningful life philosophies but I've as yet to come across dialogue in published novels that I love. Humorous dialogue I appreciate but loving is another matter entirely. Possibly one reason why I'm always inside Bortai's head and want to chop up conversation. Go to Comment
Potion of Euphemisms
Items  (Potion)   (Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-06-14 02:41 AM
I read this before but didn't vote on it. Fixing the error now, and Dossta, come back to us! Go to Comment
Plains Elves
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Regional)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-06-14 02:39 AM
I like this sub overall- it does delve into sth unique for these plain elves although not a lot. One question I have remaining is that why are they forcing all puberty elves to move in with a different tribe that their birth tribe? To prevent inbreeding or some other reason? Nothing major that detracts from the sub but just curious. Go to Comment
Citadel's Blaze
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-30 06:57 PM
Well, I can see why no one has voted on it as yet b/c everyone's holding their breath for more. But since nothing will be forthcoming anytime soon, then a score of 3 for the solidness and likeability of the underlying idea and 0.5 bonus for good write-up. Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2014-12-17 04:14 PM
I like all those blockquotes that add so much flavour to the sub esp. the Conan Doyle quote and the Mourngrym Necromantic flea and the Guild War. Overall, an entertaining read even though I'm not particularly into beards as a woman. Go to Comment
30 Wacky Wedding Customs
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-05-24 02:16 AM
I agree with Dossta about the uneven quality of some entries but overall it is a very fun and flavourful sub and I really like it a lot. Go to Comment
Bow of the Astormen
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-06-14 02:46 AM
Straightforward, simple and elegant. Go to Comment
Rune Lore
Systems  (Mystical)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-21 02:18 AM
As it is, it still feels somewhat less comprehensive than it could have been. For example, there is no information on how to tune magnitude of spells or is there no way of doing so? This sub doesn't really say. Can one craft something more complex from using more than 1 rune?

Overall, though, I do like this particular rune system and the way you have written it up, I esp. like the history section.
Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-07-05 09:49 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-11 03:14 AM
A quite novel idea and I must say I prefer Echo's idea of petting the cat and getting the knowledge instilled in you much better than the much darker way in the sub but luckily, I don't have a very graphic imagination. Go to Comment
Tumble Melon Tree
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-07-05 09:45 PM
A nice fantasy flora. In terms of the write-up, good visuals and humour. Go to Comment
Soul Gazing
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-09-03 08:40 PM

Added more details on how the actual process works and accuracy. As for interpretation, basically everything is left to individual interpretation and the Soul Gazer only knows when the answer for the individual has appeared or not. How this should be used in roleplay, I must say I don't have much idea. This is just sth that came up to me on-the-fly when I browse thru the Archaic Word challenge and I couldn't it develop further into a reasonably quality sub so I just chunked out as a 100-word challenge. I have now moved my ideas on how to incorporate this into roleplay as a user submitted idea

Go to Comment
Soul Gazing
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-09-03 11:21 PM

Incorporation into Roleplay:

This can be either some bit of colourful background for enhancing game atmosphere or it can form a component of 1 or 2 plot hooks. For example, the PCs run into a dillemma/dead-end on one of the adventures and what the Soul Gazer shows them can be a clue to lead them out if they can decode it. Or the whole thing with Soul Gazing might be just a swindle but somehow one of these Soul Gazers have gained prominence at a particular location and the PCs are hired by someone to expose him. These are the basic examples that come to mind of a non-gamer like me. Of course, one can always blend these basic ideas into a more complicated form. For example, there might be true and swindler Soul Gazers in the world. The PCs have this problem on their hands that have to be completed within X number of days. They get stuck and go to a Soul Gazer. Is this a true Soul Gazer that will give them the true answer that they just have to decode or is this a fake one that will just waste their time?

Go to Comment
Soul Gazing
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-01 09:53 PM
Well, I'm certainly glad to hear you saying you like this idea a lot even though this is one I couldn't/didn't want to develop into a length I usually like. And I don't mind critical comments at all as long as they are constructive. Anyway, on the aspect you wanted to know, I was thinking of something really subtle rather than what you've mentioned. Basically, I was thinking that those who had been through a Soul Gazing session get their answers in a sort of "meditation/ half inspiration strike" state in which they sort of get a sense of their answers but in general they are just a bit dazzled by the experience (they feel like they are trying to grasp some idea but couldn't really and the memory is getting further away or they've just found out a key truth about themselves/learnt a new and very complex concept and needing time to digest). Go to Comment
The 9 Divine Ones and 3 Exalted Ones
Systems  (Divine/ Spirit)   (Defining)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-08-22 07:24 PM
Hi, Chaoticwaffle:
I know this is not your first sub but since you are still relatively new to the site, I don't know whether you are aware that when you input a submission, there is an option to choose the 'visibility' of a submission (this is the top drop-down menu located at the bottommost textbox on the RHS of the submission inputting page). To me, this sub seems more like a work-in-progress that would be more suited to being put into the In Work-Hidden/Private category rather than as a Normal submission (which is the default selection)

Also, to me, this sub seems more suited to the Systems-Divine and Spirits category rather than as an Article of the same sub-category but then this is a relatively minor thing and you can change the submission type easily via the drop-down menu.

Moonlake Go to Comment
The 9 Divine Ones and 3 Exalted Ones
Systems  (Divine/ Spirit)   (Defining)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-08-23 07:10 PM
First, you need to edit this sub so that you get back to the submission input page. When you say you can't edit the sub, does this mean you can't see the Edit link (in square brackets) at the bottom left corner of the text block when you access this particular sub? This might be a browser issue as I had trouble with replying to comments on my sub when I was using a out-dated version of IE and everything works fine when I downloaded Google Chrome. However, if this doesn't apply to you, then submit a bug report on the forum so that Strolen can investigate this issue. Go to Comment
The 101 Festival Attenders
Items  (Art and Music)   (Sentient)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-08-29 07:30 PM
I take your points on the incorporation of this sub into actual roleplaying and I appreciate the comment. Will add a Plot Hook section when I have time (which is probably next week). Go to Comment
The 101 Festival Attenders
Items  (Art and Music)   (Sentient)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-09-06 01:00 AM
Plot Hook section added based on the item as is. For alternative versions, refer to Dossta's comment above Go to Comment
Your First Submission
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Citadel Help)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-07-04 09:09 PM
Personally, I get a little disappointed sometimes if I get an average less than 3.5 (and sometimes 4 for specific subs) on any of my subs that aren't 'abandoned ideas' . In this sense, the bit about the vote of three in this article helped me to realign my perspectives to a more realistic level (they tend to become skewed quite easily as I sometimes just set just so high an expectations for myself that it becomes unrealistic) and is my favourite. Anyway, a good article for newbies in term of preparing them for the site. Go to Comment
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