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The Seven-Fold Flame
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-02-05 04:27 PM
A nice, concise and well-written submission on a refreshing idea Go to Comment
Kazimiera
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Water)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-02-05 05:59 PM
Good descriptives, solid plot hooks.
I especially like the italic parts. Go to Comment
Lance-Lieutenant Hailland Vairs
NPCs  (Extras)   (Combative)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-02-05 02:12 AM
Firstly, I can see the efforts being put into this to make this character come to life (well done on the character description and conversations).
However, I have to say this character as it is seems to me rather standard (Sorry, it might be just me, though. I have to say I'm a girl so maybe I can't like muscle guys that much. The other guys on this site might like Vairs more), without much distinguishing traits aparts from being part demon. I would suggest working more on his personality. Currently, the most noticeable trait for this character is that he's intimidating and a bit ominous and yet you've said that he's managed to gather a group of trusted friends so maybe you could shift a bit of the emphasise away from his intimidating character into how he developed such relationships (some positive aspect for Vairs).

The bit abt him can't stand loud noises and therefore want to work on his alcoholism- do you mean he finds it too noisy in the taverns and want to quit drinking because of that? otherwise you lost me as to what is the linkage b/w the two.

Hope I'm not being too harsh, I meant any criticism I made as constructive criticisms. So hope you find them helpful.

Finally, you forgot to add this submission to the current quest. And also, wondering if you are willing to comment on my Twin Lotus submission? I've expanded on it substantially since I first submitted it but as it's already got 5 comments when I first posted, I think everyone's bypassing it. Thanks if you do that. Go to Comment
Lance-Lieutenant Hailland Vairs
NPCs  (Extras)   (Combative)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-02-05 04:19 PM
Well, you gain more experience if you click the Quest box- 18 exp instead of 3 w/o the votes. Also, probably more ppl will see it that way since it's the current quest.

Abt the alcoholism and loud noises, I get it now. Thanks for clarifiying that for me.

Thanks for offering to comment on my Twin Lotus. Go to Comment
Lance-Lieutenant Hailland Vairs
NPCs  (Extras)   (Combative)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-02-08 04:18 PM
Like the new additions, esp. on the pistols. Vote updated. Go to Comment
Kosuranda, Princess of Albatrosses
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Political)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-04-16 10:30 PM
Updated: Too slack to rework this fully but has dreamed up an explanation for this character's quirk Go to Comment
Kosuranda, Princess of Albatrosses
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Political)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-02-02 06:04 PM
I must say I'm quite fond of the character myself. Glad that others also like her :D
Thanks for the comments. Go to Comment
Kosuranda, Princess of Albatrosses
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Political)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-02-04 04:25 PM
Updated: added link in main text Go to Comment
Sisters of Magul
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Local)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-07-06 02:47 AM
Update: Another of my Mathom-held-up submissions. I think it's quite clear that its inspiration comes from Mongolians. A particularly interesting source I've consulted is the Realm of Mongols (www.coldsiberia.org). Although it is mainly written for those interested in history, there're a few links there that I find is also attractive from a literary point of view. Go to Comment
Sisters of Magul
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Local)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-08-01 07:49 PM
Yes, I'm thinking that these Crunalan kida don't need to be taught how to ride horses at all, by humans. This is entirely tied up with them finding the one special horse for them. Basically, once they find this special horse, the horse will teach them how to 'ride' . Go to Comment
30 Uncoventional Weapons
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-01-29 06:04 PM
Updated: slowly building this post up, bear with me Go to Comment
30 Uncoventional Weapons
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-01-30 10:22 PM
Updated: this scroll is getting very addictive to write! I've run out for now. Hopefully, others will fill it up to 30 Go to Comment
30 Uncoventional Weapons
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-02-02 07:33 PM
Ah, I see, a fan of kung-fu movies. You are right, most of it comes from such movies but strangely enough, I thought of the scroll mainly because I'm a bookworm in real life and the sash I always associate with women hanging themselves in suicide. However, coming from Hong Kong, I must say I practically grew up with these type of kung-fu series on TV though I can't say I'm a fan like yourself. But I had great fun writing about these weapons though :) Go to Comment
30 Uncoventional Weapons
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-02-06 07:42 PM
20. Meteor Hammer
An actual weapon used in ancient China, belonging to what I classify as Hybrid Weapons. It is basically a long rope with twin metal weights, "hammers", or darts on each end. When used as a weapon, the hammer or dart on the front end is used for attack and the other for protection.

The rope wraps around the neck, back, shoulder, elbow, wrist, thigh, foot, or waist. When the hammer or dart is released, it strikes outward with stunning and surprising speed. It is one of Chinese martial arts' most unique and difficult-to-master weapons.

21. the Urumi
An Indian weapon. The blade(s) is flexible enough to be rolled up and stored when not used, or even worn as a belt and whipped out on demand.

Optional magical traits:
The blade(s) uncoil upon command.

22. Hawaiian Throwing Axe
A wooden spade bordered with shark teeth that had the power to take men's limbs off, a weapon that can be used at both short and long range.

Optional magical traits:
Returns to hand on call

23. Blood Droplet
A weapon rumored to be in use amongst Imperial elite troops/Imperial assassins in the Ching dynastry when Manchurians occupy China as the ruling class. This rumored weapon looks like a helmet with a chain attached at one end. It is in fact a deadly weapon that is thrown to go completely over a target's head and decapitate him/her with the circle of blades at the base of this weapon. Go to Comment
30 Uncoventional Weapons
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-02-06 07:59 PM
7 more to go till completion! Also, thanks to Grey for the addition. Go to Comment
30 Uncoventional Weapons
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-03-07 01:34 AM
24. Tibetan Mani prayer wheel
A cyclinder mounted on a spindle that can be spun via a chain that is the Tibetan religious artifact.

When used as a weapon, it is spun so that the chain will smack the opponent.

Disclaimer: This entry does not intend to make fun of/insult the Tibetan religion so anyone of the Tibetan religion, please don't flame me because of it.

25. Hourglass
A device for measuring time used in ancient Western societies. Made up of 2 glass bulbs stacked one over the other with sand flowing between them.

As a weapon, it is really a disguised form of the Meteor Hammer. The rope is hidden between the 2 glass bulbs that can be pulled out by detaching the glass bulbs from each other.

Optional magical traits:
The hourglass records the duration of the battle even though the 2 glass bulbs are detached from each other in battle.

26. Compass
A modern tool for finding direction that already exists in ancient days, consisting of a rounded face with a needle pointing to the South/North (in Chinese, it literally translates to "the Needle that points South" but according to Wikipedia, it points North?)

It might be used as a boomerang or a weapon for shooting out projectiles in combat.

Optional magical traits:
The needle will always point towards the direction of your opponent, useful when facing off against someone who can teleport at will

27. Bamboo Dragonfly
A children toy in ancient China, T shaped in that it is basically made up of a plank (acting as a propeller) mounted on a stick. When it is turned with both hands, the Bamboo Dragonfly will fly off while rotating.

Can be used as a dart that will burrow into the opponent's flesh on contact if spun into his/her direction. When facing multiple opponents, it can be spun in the direction of a group of enemies, with the rotating action spreading poison/gas that will hurt or disable them.

28. Tuning fork
A U-shaped two-pronged fork that resonates with a particular pitch.

A tuning fork used for combat purposes has sharp tips that can penetrate an opponent¡¦s armor/flesh and is mainly used in jabbing motions. In addition, it resonates at a really high pitch when hit against a special shield that will severely damage an opponent's internal organs if in close range to the opponent.

Optional magical traits:
Enlarges into the size of a pitch fork on demand.

29. Tortoise shell
The shell of a turtle. In ancient China, tortoise shells are often used by fortune tellers who practices their crafts by putting three copper coins into such shells, shaking the shell and then spilling out the coins on a plate to see how many face up and then repeating the same procedure for 3 times. These shells are often about one hand span in length.

In weapon form, however, it is of a size that can be worn around one¡¦s hand like oversized gloves. It is an all-rounded weapon, giving an user additional defense beyond conventional weapons. In offense, it is mainly used to swat an opponent.

Optional magical traits:
Can be shrunken when needed so it can be hidden and easily carried around.

30. Chinese frying pan (wok)
A round-bottomed frying pan.
Can be used to slam or dunk opponents on their heads on close range. Can also be a medium range weapon if used as a boomerang.

Optional magical traits:
Returns to hand on call Go to Comment
30 Uncoventional Weapons
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-03-07 01:36 AM
A completed 30 finally! Also fixed up the spelling of shuriken and added slightly more details in the 1st scroll wheile at it (as pointed out by Pieh during a chat session) Go to Comment
Twin Lotus
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-01-26 10:03 PM
Updated: odd letters inserted into text before, now fixed Go to Comment
Twin Lotus
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-01-29 04:44 PM
Thanks, guys, for the encouraging remarks. I will try to expand on this. (To tell the truth, I totally misunderstood what the quest was abt and thought I was supposed to help complete a 30 list. Then I didn't know how to add an entry to the scroll and so decided to experiment by trying to submit a piece and then linking it back to the scroll. I just found out yesterday that the submit scroll button was right there in my face all the time. :D) Go to Comment
Twin Lotus
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2009-01-31 08:01 PM
Updated: Expanded on history substantially, also added section on Roleplaying notes Go to Comment
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