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The Immortal Worms
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Underground)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-08-30 08:27 PM
A decent utility sub. Go to Comment
The Immortal Worms
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Underground)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-08-31 07:43 PM
Val, on the worms passing through solid materials part, it came off as being mechancial to me as a reader. I suspect that Scras might have felt that too from his comment above. Go to Comment
Idran Motaer
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-08-30 08:34 PM
A solid NPC and I see him in a modern setting. Go to Comment
Idran Motaer
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-09-05 07:11 PM

Personally, I think it's the description of a tool belt that brings to mind a handyman that could drop into your house if you ring up one on phone. That's why in my comment I said I see him in a modern setting when usually I sorta expect every sub I read off on the Citadel is a fantasy sub unless explicitly stated otherwise.

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Voting
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Citadel Help)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-08-26 07:43 PM
A very honest sub on your own voting practices and I appreciate that, thank you. Go to Comment
25 Horses
Dungeons  (Any)   (Puzzles)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-08-02 03:43 AM
Like Muro, I didn't get the solution at all upon first reading. Specifically, as the sub currently stands, it somehow read as if the dot and lines on each status should have sth to do with the distance of 10 and 15 feet requirement you talked about in the solution but they didn't so that confused me. On 2nd reading now, I get it now. Suggestion for improving readability: either put in a pic showing all the horses on the chessboard (the solution) OR put in brackets that a distance of between 10 and 15 feet corresponds to two squares distance away diagonally. This's also a slight readability issue with the sentence "To complete this puzzle they'll have to place every statue, in order, a knight's move from each other...." I completely glossed over the "in order" bit on the first read which was another reason that I didn't get the solution at all.

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Arachnartids, the Slaves of Felenthur
Society/ Organizations  (Unique)   (Desert)
Moonlake's comment on 2016-01-08 10:25 PM
I am also probably not ready to vote. I'm okay with the lineage (assuming that children of Arachanartids are either children of Acari or baby Splitams and Scorzems) but coupled with the bit of Arachanartid children wanting to run away, it seems to me that Arachanartid population is mainly sustained via Goddess and God turning chosen men/women into Splitams and Scorzems rather than natural birth? Don't know if this is what the author has in mind though. Go to Comment
Tangrams (or Seven Piece Puzzles)
Dungeons  (Any)   (Puzzles)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-07-10 07:06 PM


Browser is playing up over at my end so I can't upload graphics but I copied and pasted a copy up on Google docs with the pics: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1r8__KsAx45tDBk1RzvGvwbzxc2gr-3lHXXeket7vT28

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Urooj
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-07-05 04:13 AM
Notes from the author: I see Urooj as not a ‘villain’ per se but more a man ‘driven’ to committing villainous deeds by the penchant to adopt pragmatism to the extreme. In essence, that is not evil by itself. Then again, one can argue that that’s the way it is with most villains that are ‘human’. Despite an avid fan of fantasy, I’ve never had much empathy with the ‘mindless evil’ villain archetype that is rampart in this genre. Anyway, characterization has always been a weak point of mine and in creating Urooj, I’m just experimenting with a villain driven by a trait/motivation that doesn’t normally fall under a stereotype under existing fantasy novels like ambition and the like. Go to Comment
Urooj
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-08-02 09:38 PM

The idea for defining the character through the lens of different people who know him (or the revealing character in layers anyway) actually came from Longspeak's Organic NPC sub. I was using this NPC sub as the fore-runner to get me into practice for the Organic NPC quest but yes, this way of creating a NPC sub sort of grew on me as I write.

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Urooj
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-09-15 09:02 PM
Actually thinking about this point you raised, I think the way I wrote it, I'm still thinking much pretty as how I saw Urooj but I think you are right in that a common Heaga's view of Urooj is closer to what you wrote. So good catch. Go to Comment
Phantom Paths
Dungeons  (Any)   (Puzzles)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-07-04 12:42 AM
oh I see, I got it the other way around. Ah it all makes sense now. Go to Comment
Phantom Paths
Dungeons  (Any)   (Puzzles)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-10-01 08:00 AM
Wow, the updated graphics are really cool (like Val said)! Go to Comment
Phantom Paths
Dungeons  (Any)   (Puzzles)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-07-03 09:04 PM
A very neat puzzle and easy to understand with the pic illustrations. This might just be me but how does the pic before the solution come about? I thought that if player b turned onto an activated grid (one of the grey cells) which I presumed was that move that he made, the puzzle would deactivate but in the pic it showed that the shadow player B would step onto the mirror grid to the always-active grey grid? Go to Comment
The Maw Installation
Locations  (TransWorld)   (Space)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-07-03 02:01 AM
As I was reading this sub, mainly the section on construction projects, my mind was constantly under threat of blowing up but then I would encounter something about a particular prototype that tied really nicely and neatly into the underlying world. Anyhow, I felt like I was pulled on two sides a bit while reading cos I have a personal difficulty with the sci-fi genre. But I really liked how at the beginning, there was the reference to how the Maw had been incorporated into everyday language in jest. And I must say that despite being a non-fan of sci fi, this is a very complete piece that is already ready to be dropped into a sci-fi game. So full marks. Go to Comment
Collaborative Storytelling Through Google Docs
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Gaming - In General)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-06-28 08:28 PM
I haven't really started dedicated gaming yet (will start next Thurs or Wed over at the US) so this article isn't directly useful for me. But I think it has great utility value for most of the members of this site and it's written very succinctly as an article. That I've always liked and appreciated, possibly because I have the tendency to write long unwieldy things myself. Go to Comment
Collaborative Storytelling Through Google Docs
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Gaming - In General)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-06-29 03:06 AM
I had actually used Google Docs for brainstorm for a collaborative sub for the Citadel before and it was an enjoyable experience. Like you had pointed out, multiple people could be updating different sections at the same time and we had experienced the slow moving problem (or at least me, I had to keep refreshing the browser after a while else the 'session' would just freeze up). Go to Comment
Legendary Chinese Broadswords (Daos)
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-06-28 12:00 AM
Update: 4 more legendary/fabled broadswords to come but I had enough of Chinese translation for now. Probably in the coming weekend. Go to Comment
Legendary Chinese Broadswords (Daos)
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-06-28 08:05 PM
I merely meant that some of the names were more unassuming but I think the lore more than made up for that. Go to Comment
Legendary Chinese Broadswords (Daos)
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-07-03 11:32 PM
Update: Added fabled broadsword section and added pic link to Dragon Tooth Go to Comment
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