Actually, I am aware of the nature of the Decathros challenge but it is true that I did not start reading this sub with the Decathros association in mind. My comment was basically written from my impression that the length of this sub was what Val had intended it to be and the fact that I'm fine with it in this particular instance. But yes, I can understand why others would expect more of this sub starting their reading experience from the Decathros angle. And in general I do think that more content in a sub would be of benefit to it rather than being detriment. In this particular case, I was just judging more on the basis of author positioning, I guess. Go to Comment
It would be helpful if you put up a link to 30 Reasons why Not Everyone is a Magic User so that ppl aren't contributing duplicates. I've tagged this in my fav folder and will try to contribute 1 or 2 items to the list but I need to know the original 30 reasons so that I'm not doubling up Go to Comment
A fully fleshed out character and I like the Personal Failing, Secret and Motivation sections. However, might like to do an once-over to check spelling etc. For example, the end of the first paragraph under Appearance of Impressions:
"Among the Ator women in social situations are expected to guide the conversation even if they don't offer much input....According to the Ator mores Ysra speaks when she should be quiet and is quiet when she should be speaking. If one were to watch with her interact with husband or close family privately, only then would they see her reveal any joy or pleasure in life."
The first sentence reads a little awkward. I'm not aware that "mores" is a word (2nd sentence but then if this is archaic form, then maybe it's okay). The first 'with' in the last sentence is a typo. Go to Comment
Like the companion sub on his wife, I like the contrast between him being a good diplomatic and leader and his weakness in calvary and esp. his struggle with his cultural heritage. I like Ysra slightly more because she seems more interesting whereas Halldor still seems essentially a knight at heart but then I know not much could be done about that given that he's lawful good in alignment.
Typo alert- I thought the last line of the Appearance paragraph contained the typo "since" which should be "sense" or something similar. Go to Comment
This sub could use a once-over since there are typos that impede understanding (only slightly but still) at places. Sounds like a good set of adventures that could incorporate both a combat solution and a more puzzle type solution. And I just happen to let the theme of this sub quite a bit. Go to Comment
I really like the ending. It took the story off in a totally different direction that I had expected. It was also at part 4 that the poignant themes of this story really started to sink in. Overall, good work. Go to Comment
A very comprehensive sub on a location. The formatting is good and makes it extremely easy to read thru despite the length. I think the Legend, the Persons of Note and Plot Hook sections are done very well but I like the other sections quite a bit less. In particular, I have the following issues with them:
1. Recent History: it's still well-written but I would have appreciated more sign-posting (i.e. tell me to refer to persons of note section for the personages). Currently, the various names mentioned in a short paragraph has a slightly overwhelming effect on me
2. Culture: currently, the majority of the section is concerned with what garb ppl of this city wears. I agree that's one part of culture but I would have appreciated sth more in-depth on cultural aspects. You did go into mindsets of the ppl and beliefs in after-life later but I guess what's bugging me is the inbalance b/w the more 'shallow' aspects of culture (what they wear) and these more in-depth aspects.
Overall, a high quality sub that achieves its purpose of describing the city very well. Go to Comment
Unfortunately I have to agree with Axle. The underlying idea is refreshing but the write-up really borders on being terrible after the first section, with alternating voices that occur for no seeming reason. Go to Comment
Val, quick question: I've recently uploaded a new 30+ Chinese name generator. I'm currently working to expand it into 101 and here comes my problem. So far I can only see an edit button which then requires me to copy and paste in items one by one. Is there a function that allows me to override the existing generator by uploading a new text file to replace the old or is the only option for me to delete the old one and replace it with the expanded version? Go to Comment
This gives a very concise overview of law enforcement in CE and I like both the italic text showing usage in different geographic locations and the subsequent text on the shortcoming of a particular option to law enforcement. This is a very article-y piece but it was a easy read and I liked the overall discussion presented here as being very logical. Go to Comment