Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Player Cult Macguffins
Items  (Other)   (Campaign Defining)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-03 08:46 PM
Read it, think that it is a good sub for expanding the Player Cult. However, for the same reason mentioned on your last Player Cult associated sub, I'm refraining from voting b/c some of the items just don't speak to me personally and the potential score I could give it is stretching over too wide a range depending on how objective I want to look at the piece. Go to Comment
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-03 12:25 AM
A decent creature for use against the undead. Go to Comment
Sigh Inc
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 07:22 AM
An intriguing sub that blends in the 2 unrelated subs seamlessly. Good work on that part as usual. However, I need more time to think abt actual score to give- currently, I can't even pinpoint a score range (usually, I would give an indication that I'm torn b/w a score of x versus y). Maybe just a 'late at night" effect. Go to Comment
Sigh Inc
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 07:39 AM
Well, yes, no actual 'blending' but then I would imagine it is very hard to blend these particular two together. The other possibility I could think of was maybe a story abt a particular flesh peddler's discovery of sth that could spark a change in magic/tech paradigm and how she dealt with it. What I meant by blend in the previous comment was just in more generic terms incorporate the 2 subs into a sub and not having it sound forced (which in the technical sense, is a bit 'inferior' to true blending but I still sound it a sound achievement). In this respect, I think this particular sub is successful. Go to Comment
Sigh Inc
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 06:40 PM
Okay, vote decided. This sub is a notch below your usual standard and would be a 3 in my personal opinion. As previously mentioned, it does a good job of incorporating the 2 previous subs w/o making the link seem forced but does not really add value as your previous subs. However, considering the difficulty involved (and I'm not playing nice this time, it is part of my revised voting practice to take into account the difficulty involved in any Challenge subs eg. Oekaki, sth like this), bonus 0.5 points. So 3.5 it is. Go to Comment
The Dragon And Its Nine Offsprings
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 12:01 AM
Update: Will post another sub on the First and their descendants (which will describe Fu Xi) soon. Basically, the First refers to the creatures that are believed to be the first creations by a Pantheon of Gods in this particular setting.

The scroll on the actual Nine Off-Springs as detailed in Chinese text/folklore is forthcoming (in the middle of compiling info now) but I'm releasing it now because this sub is ready to be voted on. The scroll itself shouldn't form part of the graded content- I'm expecting to be assessed on the creativity of my ideas and the quality of my write-up and other aspects that the readers view important, not the quality of my research skills! 

Go to Comment
The Dragon And Its Nine Offsprings
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 12:02 AM

This is another
creative adaptation piece with original inspiration in Chinese folklore. In particular,
there was a phrase in an ancient text that translates to “The Dragon gave birth to nine off-springs, each
of them being different” that is the
basis of this particular sub. Note, however, that unlike this particular sub,
the Dragon in this ancient phrase was just referring to the particular Dragon
that it was talking about which is just a common Chinese dragon rather than
this ancient creature whose appearance is unknown as I’ve made the Dragon into. A common Chinese dragon’s outllook is basically
my description of Au Chao in the main sub. To be honest, I didn’t dig up the actual
references on these Nine Off-springs as detailed in Chinese folklore until
after I finished my own set of Nine. Nevertheless, I thought providing the set
of Nine detailed in actual Chinese folklore would be a nice complement to the
version I’ve made up specifically
for the Dragon Empire setting.

There are actually
three different version of the Nine Off-springs according to different texts,
both in terms of what the Nine actually are and their birth orderings:

Version A:

Qiu Niu- Depicted as a
typical Chinse dragon, Qiu Niu is said to have a passion for music and its head
often serves as ornamentation for the tops of musical instruments

Ya Zi- Depitced as a
creature with the head of a wolf and a dragon’s body, its preference for
killing makes it a common decorative component on sword-grips. Its name also
appears in a Chinese idiom/proverb (the special four-charcter phrases in
Chinese) describing vengeful personalities.

Chao Feng- Chao Feng
itself is considered an incarnation of birds and takes the image of a phoenix.
It is said to like precipices
and therefore figurines of Chao Feng are placed on the four corners of roofs. However, these
figurines are normally of a four-legged beast form.

Pu Lao- Another with
the look of a typical Chinese dragon. Reputedly, it likes to cry. It is
represented on the tops of bells, serving as handles

Ni- A lion-like creature that likes to sit down. Figurines of it are commonly
found upon the bases of Buddhist idols under the Buddhas’ feet.

Bi Xi/Ba Xia- Bi Xi is
a creature similar in form to a Trionychidae (a form of soft-shelled turtle which can be found in Asian diet, viewed
as a delicacy and prized for the its supposedly health strengthening effects)
which is said to be fond of literature. It is put on the sides of grave
monuments. Alternativley, Ba Xia is a big tortoise that likes to carry objects.
Figurines of Ba Xia are commonly the support structures for grave monuments.

A tiger-like creature which likes litigation. Figurines of it are placed over
prison gates to keep guard.

Xi (pronounced with inflections)- Unclear of its entire outlook but it is
certain that it has the serpentine body typical of a Chinese dragon. Fu Xi
looks anything of an artistic nature and is depicted as spiraling in a vertical
sense at the top of stone monuments

Chi Wen- It has the head of a
dragon but has the body of a fish. It likes swallowing and is place on both
ends of the ridgepoles of roofs to swallow all evil influences.


Except for different birth orderings and the 5th, 6th  and 9th Off-springs being entirely
different creatures, version B is really quite similar to version A. 

Xi (as above)

Chi Wen (as above)

Pu Lao (as above)

(as above)

Tao Tie- A horned, clawed beast with a tail
roughly corresponding to the relevant body part of a cow, tiger and goat. Its
face decorate a wide range of tools and storage devices made from an alloy of
bronze, tin and lead whose name translates to Indigo Bronze. It is associated
with gluttony and greed. In modern terms, part of its name is used in a term
that refers to food connoiseirs.

Xia (pronounced with different inflections than the Ba Xia in version A)- With
a typical Chinese dragon’s apperance, Ba Xia is said to like water and his
image is sculpted into the foundation pillar for bridges.

Zi (as above)

Ni (as above)

Tu- A conch or clam, which does not like to be disturbed. It decorates door
knobs or the doorstep (in ancient times, door knobs have a flat surface which
is in the shape of Jiao Tu’s face that is attached to a ring of metal which is
used to knock)


*Each of the
Off-springs in this set have two charcter names in Chinese as well (they are
all called xxx Dragon if I translate them across but I can’t since some
characters are basically meaningless by itself) but I can’t find their
pronounications and I surely am not even going to attempt to make them up
myself since my Mandarin just isn’t good enough and also 3 of the characters I
can’t even pronounce in my mother tongue of Cantonese.

dragon with horns on its head (the leader while the rest are in no particular

dragon with scales on its body

dragon with wings

dragon without horns

dragon who cannot fly

dragon who likes water

dragon who likes fire (whose name translates to Fire Dragon)

dragon who likes to call/shout/emit sounds

dragon who likes to fight

there are also several Chinese links that I used but since I would take a punt
that at least 90% of the Strolenati can’t read Chinese, no point for me to put
up the actual links. Anyway, I think I’ve made it clear enough that this entire
scroll is research-based/the actual version of the myth Go to Comment
The Dragon And Its Nine Offsprings
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 05:37 AM
Yes, Fu Xi is not one of the Nine and will be featured in forthcoming subs on the Dragon Empire. I clarified this now in the 1st comment.  Go to Comment
The Dragon And Its Nine Offsprings
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 05:44 PM
Thanks for the typo alert. This is meant to be a background myth for my setting (i.e. what the populace at the Dragon Empire believe abt the Dragon and its Nine Off-springs). As such, some of the Nine have longer sections b/c they stick to the minds of the populace more, some are only 2 lines of text cos the populace have nearly forgot abt them if not for the records of the Nine that can still be found in text. Go to Comment
The Dragon And Its Nine Offsprings
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-03 05:47 PM
A fair enough comment though I meant this to be a background myth so they are not supposed to be affecting anything in my setting (or not much anyway in the current way things stand in my mind. A lot of this setting is still in the nebulous but things will be revealed in their own times). I was actually about to edit this piece today by adding in an Author Note declaring abt this being bg material.

On the English translation of their names, the names of the Nine in the real version are mostly words that are no longer in popular use anymore- the characters that form their names really means nothing outside their names. A lot of times, ancient Chinese names don't have much meaning in modern terms. Also, truth be told, my native tongue is Cantonese, not Mandarin, I just made up the names by sound (I'm pretty sure there's a corresponding character to what I typed up but I need to track down quite a few of them). So unfortunately, it's not really feasible for me to do. But I appreciate the comment and the suggestion on how to expand this.
Go to Comment
The Dragon And Its Nine Offsprings
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-03 05:50 PM
Update: Clarified author intention on this piece. Go to Comment
The Dragon And Its Nine Offsprings
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-03 06:09 PM
I see, in the real version, the Nine each has characteristics they were known for and they appear in different ornamentation in ancient China in correspondence with these characteristics. In my own version, I haven't gotten so far with them on this particular area. People in general don't pray to the Nine though they have reverence for the Dragon Lords (I slipped that in at the start but not sure whether ppl noticed), which are the descendants of Au Chao and maybe Xie Tse for those who believed she's still around. I do, however, see a few of the Nine being featured in stories but not all. Go to Comment
The Dragon And Its Nine Offsprings
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-19 12:48 AM
If you want more of these exact same mixtures, then you need to summon the other Moon (Mystic Moon) for me. I have 2 collab subs with him planned (for his Pocket Realms setting mashed up with Scras' Kaiju Challenge-turned-Quest and this "Dragon + 9 'off-springs' idea seed I had then) but then first I disappeared and now he's disappeared.

Also, I'm not totally done with this sub yet cos I still need to update the scroll on the actual 9 in Chinese folklore.  I got my sources already but would u believe it there are 3 different versions of them (all right, 2 are quite similar but still)! 

Actually, I just realised that the companion sub to this that will be upcoming, the First and its Descendants, will be the same exact mixture, although this time I'm doing any mixing of animal parts by myself. The appearance of the First are as detailed in Chinese folklore. Anyway, stay tuned! 

Go to Comment
The Dragon And Its Nine Offsprings
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-22 12:49 AM
Update: Added a few more details inspired by Dossta and Val's comments. Finished scroll on the real Nine Off-springs from ancient text and folklore. Go to Comment
The Dragon And Its Nine Offsprings
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-30 07:42 PM
Update: Quick formatting fix by compulsive editor of own work Go to Comment
The Dragon And Its Nine Offsprings
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-31 04:18 PM
Thanks for the 4, Aramax. Personally, I would be happy with a 3.5 for such background material. And I do owe any expansion (the longer entries among the Nine except for Au Chao) mainly to Dossta and Val's comments as I've already said. Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-05 02:13 AM
I see, I thought you were requesting input for an edit but I understand that sometimes there are just pieces that you are done with and don't want to do major work on. Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-02 02:13 AM
The idea of there being crawling giants I find unique and I quite these odd takes. However, I concur that this sub feels somewhat under-developed. Different to the comments above, though, for me, the content is sufficient (although I'm not averse to more info. provided as per previous comments). It's really the fact that first, you gave us a sort of mythical explanation of why the giants are here- they are chasing after some elusive lights in the ground (I presume that in doing so, they found an intra-dimensional rift or sth and crossed over to the current world and got stuck, anyway, that's my personal take on this) and then suddenly in the Wise Giants section, a biological reason on why they have to be crawling are given. And that just seems odd in terms of structuring content i.e. if they are the 2 reasons for why they have to be crawling, why is it that one is revealed at the start and one is mixed in with the Wise Giants section? Unless the biological reason was info revealed by the Wise Giants specifically, then it would make sense but currently in the sub, this is not the case.

So I second Redgre: good idea but edit/expansion needed Go to Comment
Crawling Giants
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-04 10:48 PM
Forganthus, I'm one of the ones voted 3.5. I have read the edit and I keep to my vote b/c my pt on the structuring of this piece still stands. I still do not see how it adds value to the flow or the atmosphere of this piece to have content that I see belong together in one section being separately revealed as in the current write-up. For example, I would say the bit abt the giants chasing underground lights, their inability to deal with gravity and their physiology being different to normal giants in fantasy all belong together in one section (I would title it General Description or Crawling Giants) but currently, you have them scattered in 3 sections. 

On your concern over storytelling, I would think Elbin's suggestion of making this an old script by someone describing this race will hit the nail on the head in this regard.  I actually thought this was more or less what you are doing now as this is written in 1st person tense but then I would add an extra line at the end to let ppl know they are reading an excerpt from some written work like this: ~ An excerpt from xxxx. However, if you don't want to keep to the conventional structure of grouping content as this will be leading you towards, then you can write it this whole sub in the voice of someone who learnt abt info. on these Crawling Giants bit by bit and then it would justify the current structure of content not being grouped together. 

Overall, I really think me and Elbin are saying the same things abt this sub although our votes are slightly different. Happy to revote on it after edit. If I don't see a revised version of this myself, just PM me. You can probably PM Gossamer and Redgre and ask them for a revote now as it seems to me like they are mainly after more info on these Giants and your addition of the Explanations section will have satisfied them in that regard already. 

Go to Comment
Specialized Fungus Cultures
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-05 06:01 AM
I'm a bit of a mushroom lover so I like the topic of this sub. Plus it is also well written. Another good piece of Weaver work from you, well done. Go to Comment
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