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The Hellephant
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-07-31 01:28 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Chimera Prototype Mk-XXIII
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-07-30 10:13 PM
A fair enough comment and one that we haven't really thought about. On the living area, though, was thinking that the chimeras would be kept in already existing mansions/compounds of the rich. The up-keeping part potentially might be problematic in a resource poor world like you say. Go to Comment
Chimera Prototype Mk-XXIII
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-08-01 07:39 PM

Yep, that was the motivation for creating the Chimera, as an all-purpose beast for 'humanity'. As for its primary weapon, the other Moon is more suited to answering this, we split the work such that I'm focusing more on the background world and the scientist while he's focusing more on the monster itself and the plot hooks though of course, there are ideas that come off and build on each other.

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Chimera Prototype Mk-XXIII
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-07-30 02:39 AM

Dr. James Wooden


11:00 a.m., Sydney, Crown Center, Press Conference


With an air of self-assurance, Dr. James Wooden strode in, smiled and seated himself. In a charcoal black suit, Dr. Wooden conveys the image of a true gentleman.


“Welcome to the Press Conference on Project Chimera. As everyone here is well aware, now farming has to be done predominately either with animal or human labour. Also, the radical movement is gaining momentum and causing major disruptions to our lives.  Now, I ask all of you, what do we do about them? Well, my answer is that we create something that will simultaneously address these two problems…  Now, is there any questions?”



18/05/3031


Finally, those walking monies have given me the funding for my Project Chimera! Imagine the fame I will get when I create the perfect animal that will solve the two most pressing problems of humanity at the moment.


19/05/3031


What specimens of DNA should I use to create my Chimera? Let me see, grizzly bear for its strength and ability to sustain mob attacks, the Tasmanian devil so that it will have a rapid reproductive cycle, snakes so that it would have a means to quickly immobilise those pesky radicals and yes, the giant squid from Japan that has that delicious gene with the propensity to mutate, why then my Chimera can continuously breed with other species, creating unique offsprings. Who knows that those walking monies won’t take the fancy to getting their special pet Chimera and give me follow-up funding on project extensions?


10/01/3032


Curse those radicals, here I thought this ghost town of Alice Springs would be the perfect place to set up my research compound and all my Aboriginal ‘assistants’ have escaped in the confusion as well. I know, I will move to Bourke in New South Wales, surely there the opportunities to ‘recruit’ more Aboriginal ‘assistants’ are plenty as well.


08/11/3032


Those ethnical guidelines that scientists are supposed to uphold are damn nuisances. What’s the difference between a non-lethal venom that will paralyse someone so that they can be killed and a lethal one that directly kills? Damn hypocrites


~ excerpts from a partially recovered personal diary of Dr. James Wooden found at the site of the destroyed research compound at Bourke, NSW


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The Shadowbeasts
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-07-30 10:06 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
10 Chance Meetings
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Encounter)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-07-24 06:56 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Setam, the Goddess of Nerves
Systems  (Divine/ Spirit)   (Specific)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-08-01 07:31 PM
Thanks for all the positive feedback on this. Personally, I like UU slightly better but I think I can say that personally I fall into one of the categories that revere her, at least at the moment. Go to Comment
13/30 Magic Tattoos
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-07-17 08:54 PM
Overall, still a quality piece despite being part of the "clean-out" work.

For no. 2, I don't quite comprehend what the phrase "few orcs will care about the status of a human's guilt" meant exactly although I get the general gist that it's supposed to convey the limit of the tattoo in protecting the bearer from unfavourable encounters

Typo alert:
No. 9 Heading: missing e in the word Imagery Go to Comment
13/30 Magic Tattoos
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-07-17 11:18 PM
okay, got it. Go to Comment
The Qualm
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Space)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-08-01 08:12 PM
The basic idea is quite novel- in fact, I like how the qualm is stretching the definition of a kaiju beyond what we normally think, and I like the way content has been grouped in concise broad sections. Go to Comment
The Moon Hunter
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Space)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-07-31 01:16 AM
Space isn't really my theme but the writing adds wonders to the content. I especially like how the itallics break up the sub and make it easy on the eyes. Go to Comment
Changeling Wasp
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-06-25 10:51 PM
This is a fun idea. Check the writing though, the last part of the second paragraph has been eaten up somehow. Go to Comment
The Pocket Realm of Brocschtal
Locations  (Area)   (Mountains)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-06-25 12:55 AM
I like the combo of idyllic surroundings and the ghoul threat in this piece. I'm a bit torn over what score to give this, though, deciding b/w a 3.5 and a 4. Once I decide, will come back and give an actual vote. Go to Comment
The Pocket Realm of Brocschtal
Locations  (Area)   (Mountains)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-06-25 08:05 PM
I like the added blockquotes. I think now the uniqueness of the place stands out more and I can with certainty give this a 4. Go to Comment
The Pocket Realm of Brocschtal
Locations  (Area)   (Mountains)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-06-25 03:19 AM
I think this sub is a quality one in terms of both completeness and write-up. Why I have a struggle over the score is that all the way up until the last paragraph, I'm inclined to give this sub a 3.5 but the last section I definitely like and think should be graded a 4.

For me, 3.5 is a score I reserve for subs being of better overall quality than the average 'solid' benchmark sub whereas for me a 4 is clearly above the average. In this instance, I think why I think this way is that I like how your wrote up your version of an idyllic place with hidden threat and yet, this version still doesn't distinguish itself from other potential versions of this idea in a way that makes it entirely refreshing. Having said that, though, I also feel like that in the sections I said I would give 3.5, I can find snippets that is clearly deserving of a higher score than just 3.5. For example, I quite like the starting blockquote on how the common people re-interpret the Sundering as a divine-created event and it's quite close to a 4 to me.

I'm afraid that my comment isn't really useful in helpful you to identify what you could possibly improve on. This seems more like me rambling on about what I liked more and what I liked less about various bits of this sub. Anyway, at least now I've vaguely pinpointed key areas that give rise to the score conflict.
Go to Comment
Earth and Iron, a Love Story
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Desert)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-06-25 08:50 PM
The love story is sweet and the way you interweave this background story into how the world could interact with Daazan and Utheleii is nice. Go to Comment
Earth and Iron, a Love Story
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Desert)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-06-25 08:50 PM
The love story is sweet and the way you interweave this background story into how the world could interact with Daazan and Utheleii is nice. Go to Comment
Eyre Magick - Introduction
Systems  (Mystical)   (Defining)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-06-25 03:25 AM
The write-up is clear and to-the-point. I also like how this system of magic relates to genes and ores in real life. Go to Comment
Mobile Ground
Items  (Tools)   (Non-Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-06-20 07:59 PM
Seems to be an interesting idea grounded solidly in logic, even though I personally adhor and suck at physics as a student (and I'm not talking abt uni, this is high school). A good submission for the 100 word challenge. Go to Comment
The Eye of Avarice
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (City/ Ruin)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-06-19 12:48 AM
A solid submission that covers all pertinent angles, with flavour text inserted just where they are needed. Overall, a high quality piece. Go to Comment
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