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New Personal Best
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-25 02:54 AM
Like the alternating perspective very much in this piece. Another excellent piece for your Delta world. Go to Comment
30 Fairies
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-11 05:47 AM
Excellent 30 as others have said, I especially like how you attribute different terrains to different types of fairies and the fact that they are all benevolent or innocuous. Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Water)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-20 05:13 PM
Even though I'm not a gamer, I find myself agreeing more with Kassy on this sub. It is of just the right length for me. Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Water)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-20 06:45 PM
Actually, I am aware of the nature of the Decathros challenge but it is true that I did not start reading this sub with the Decathros association in mind. My comment was basically written from my impression that the length of this sub was what Val had intended it to be and the fact that I'm fine with it in this particular instance. But yes, I can understand why others would expect more of this sub starting their reading experience from the Decathros angle. And in general I do think that more content in a sub would be of benefit to it rather than being detriment. In this particular case, I was just judging more on the basis of author positioning, I guess. Go to Comment
7 More Reasons Why Not Everyone is a Magic User
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - Genre)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-11-09 04:32 PM
It would be helpful if you put up a link to 30 Reasons why Not Everyone is a Magic User so that ppl aren't contributing duplicates. I've tagged this in my fav folder and will try to contribute 1 or 2 items to the list but I need to know the original 30 reasons so that I'm not doubling up Go to Comment
The Song That Doesn't End, Part One
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Moonlake's comment on 2014-04-22 11:45 PM

An unusual story and entertaining read.

Go to Comment
Ysra Fulsven Vineblud (Noblewoman of Parna)
NPCs  (Minor)   (Political)
Moonlake's comment on 2014-11-28 07:08 PM
A fully fleshed out character and I like the Personal Failing, Secret and Motivation sections. However, might like to do an once-over to check spelling etc. For example, the end of the first paragraph under Appearance of Impressions:
"Among the Ator women in social situations are expected to guide the conversation even if they don't offer much input....According to the Ator mores Ysra speaks when she should be quiet and is quiet when she should be speaking. If one were to watch with her interact with husband or close family privately, only then would they see her reveal any joy or pleasure in life."
The first sentence reads a little awkward. I'm not aware that "mores" is a word (2nd sentence but then if this is archaic form, then maybe it's okay). The first 'with' in the last sentence is a typo. Go to Comment
Ysra Fulsven Vineblud (Noblewoman of Parna)
NPCs  (Minor)   (Political)
Moonlake's comment on 2014-11-29 04:50 PM
I see, thanks for the enlightenment regarding the term mores. :) Go to Comment
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-21 02:57 AM
The appearance paragraph already has me 'hooked' to this character b/c I'm forever into past demons etc. This is my favourite Parnian noble so far (haven't yet read all of them though). Go to Comment
Moonlake's comment on 2014-12-27 07:49 PM
Like the companion sub on his wife, I like the contrast between him being a good diplomatic and leader and his weakness in calvary and esp. his struggle with his cultural heritage. I like Ysra slightly more because she seems more interesting whereas Halldor still seems essentially a knight at heart but then I know not much could be done about that given that he's lawful good in alignment.

Typo alert- I thought the last line of the Appearance paragraph contained the typo "since" which should be "sense" or something similar. Go to Comment
Moonlake's comment on 2014-12-27 07:55 PM
I could see Karim as a character just awaiting misfortune to befall him. Still, I quite like the way he's presented here. Go to Comment
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-09 01:48 AM
I really like the ending. It took the story off in a totally different direction that I had expected. It was also at part 4 that the poignant themes of this story really started to sink in. Overall, good work. Go to Comment
One Man's Trash...
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-01 07:08 PM
A nice plot, very straightforward but with a sort of 'moral dilemma' thrown in at the end. The post itself is very easy to read. Go to Comment
Locations  (City)   (Desert)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-05 08:10 PM
A very comprehensive sub on a location. The formatting is good and makes it extremely easy to read thru despite the length. I think the Legend, the Persons of Note and Plot Hook sections are done very well but I like the other sections quite a bit less. In particular, I have the following issues with them:
1. Recent History: it's still well-written but I would have appreciated more sign-posting (i.e. tell me to refer to persons of note section for the personages). Currently, the various names mentioned in a short paragraph has a slightly overwhelming effect on me
2. Culture: currently, the majority of the section is concerned with what garb ppl of this city wears. I agree that's one part of culture but I would have appreciated sth more in-depth on cultural aspects. You did go into mindsets of the ppl and beliefs in after-life later but I guess what's bugging me is the inbalance b/w the more 'shallow' aspects of culture (what they wear) and these more in-depth aspects.

Overall, a high quality sub that achieves its purpose of describing the city very well. Go to Comment
7 Things About Criticism
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Citadel Help)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-02-22 12:46 AM
Very useful and expressed artfully too. Go to Comment
Creating Generators from 30s
Articles  (Resource)   (Citadel Help)
Moonlake's comment on 2014-11-06 09:00 PM
Val, quick question: I've recently uploaded a new 30+ Chinese name generator. I'm currently working to expand it into 101 and here comes my problem. So far I can only see an edit button which then requires me to copy and paste in items one by one. Is there a function that allows me to override the existing generator by uploading a new text file to replace the old or is the only option for me to delete the old one and replace it with the expanded version? Go to Comment
Alexandra Stacja
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-28 06:57 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Masgolth's Fire
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-01 07:00 PM
A good epic weapon with an interesting backstory reminiscent of old legends and such, I even get a little vibe of the Lord of the Rings somehow. Maybe it's the timing since I'm going to see the last episode of the Hobbit this coming Tuesday and I'm just re-reading the whole LoR series again. Go to Comment
The Spirit Net
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-01 07:34 PM
I agree with SE: certainly short and sweet. I liked the Entwiners (although not sure whether I officially voted on it) and I like the idea of the Spirit Nets. I also think the first sample seems like the strongest entry among the three. Go to Comment
Moonlake's comment on 2013-11-28 05:01 AM
I found the format used to present this idea appealing- reminds me of the Forgotten Realm books starring a travel novelist as the main protagonist but written a notch better. Maybe you could revisit this and turn it in a proper sub when you have some more snippets along the same lines and then you can change the title to Excerpts rather Excerpt. Or maybe you could turn this into a Wiki if you can't seem to let it go as a stub (Wiki Duo at it again, what is it with me and you together? It's becoming like every second correspondence b/w us involves a Wiki somehow) Go to Comment
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