Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Planted Madness
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-28 05:11 AM
This rounds out the reasoning for the Everlife Dungeon occurring nicely. However, I have one small quibble. I found the following sentence mighty hard to comprehend: "The result can be a constant burden to endure until a solution is found with the constant danger of succumbing to the Tree's power (in the case of the knight) or a source of power to draw upon, that has to be kept in constant check unless it tries to draw back (in the case of the necromancer/magic user)." I get the main gist but it's just an ultra-long sentence and some of the wording seems a bit off. Go to Comment
Ife And Eath Governors Of Existence
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-28 04:48 AM
Like others before me, the concept of Eath tiring is intriguing and I also love the voice that this piece is written in. It was confusing to read at some places but then this confusion also adds to the flavour of this piece- a nice paradox. Go to Comment
Everlife Dungeon
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-28 04:38 AM
A very complete explanation for a unique dungeon ecology Go to Comment
30 Members Of The Players Cult
NPCs  (Extras)   (Religious)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-22 08:39 PM
I think the formatting of this is brilliant and I do think this 30 rounds out the Player Cult nicely and adds great depth to it in terms of the inner intrigues that're going on. However, I do have to say modern is just not my thing so I sort of stopped reading halfway through the Puzzle Gamer section (I did jump ahead and read Exodus and thinks that gives a very good reason for the Death Bringer Guild arising within the Player Cult).

I'm not voting on this particular piece b/c I think I might do it an injustice. I wouldn't change a single thing on it (which according to what I revealed abt my voting practice should be a 5) but if someone really force me to vote on it, my gut feeling would tell me to vote a 4. And yes, I did mention (when I revealed my voting standard) that I will refrain from voting on subs that are just not my 'cup of tea' regardless of their quality. Go to Comment
Friars Weed
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Swamp)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-19 07:12 PM
An solid idea, solid write-up. However, do a proof-read and fix up your affect/effects. Also, the following sentence "It also, when it comes time to reproduce, its creates a strong odor that encourages mosquitoes to come to it" just has repeated wordings. Go to Comment
Helstone Treasures
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Villanous)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-18 11:39 PM
A great extension to Scras' work on the Gems of the Underworld. Go to Comment
30 Symbols for Various Societies or Shop Signs
Systems  (Artistic/Performance)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-12 11:28 PM
Update: I don't know where I'm going with this sub. The content is a jumble of references to previously subs and some kind of unexpected association of societies and their emblems/weird shop signs. I'm probably just the wrong person to do this sub since I'm not artistically inclined. Anyway, I'm looking for advice on the general positioning of this sub and whether content need to be re-structured (and if so, suggestions on how)

I've locked this sub for the moment (against user-submitted ideas) b/c of the specificity of where I need help with. When I've determined that I'm happy with the positioning and structure of this sub, I will open it up. Go to Comment
30 Symbols for Various Societies or Shop Signs
Systems  (Artistic/Performance)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-15 06:22 AM
Update: Unlocked this sub and did some formatting changes.
Now open to new additions! 
Go to Comment
30 Symbols for Various Societies or Shop Signs
Systems  (Artistic/Performance)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-15 05:18 PM
Yes, this is for a fantasy setting. I'm an avid fan of fantasy and doesn't really cross into other genres. But symbols for a modern setting could also be fun. So I've added a header now to separate symbols under different genres/settings.

It is in meta-voice which I presume you mean I'm writing this up in third person tense and not in the voice of a NPC/PC. Anyway, I changed this to a Wiki now cos if ppl add their inputs as user-submitted ideas, it will look very messy for the sub.

I really like the first title you suggested. Unfortunately from v.3 of the Citadel onwards, title changes need to be made by admins. So unless I get massive amounts of input beyond a 30, I don't think I can be bothered asking Strolen to change the title for me. Go to Comment
30 Symbols for Various Societies or Shop Signs
Systems  (Artistic/Performance)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-17 11:18 PM
Look forward to the additions. btw, how come it's me and you again? Go to Comment
30 Symbols for Various Societies or Shop Signs
Systems  (Artistic/Performance)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-28 07:53 PM
Val, you know what? I was just stupid, when Strolen mentioned the way to put a link is to use the syntax {freetext|actual word} where {=[, I interpreted it to mean, the syntax is {the actual word of the freetext|actual word in the sub} but just looked at your code, I now understand that I just interpreted it wrong. No wonder when I PM Strolen and ask him to look into it, he says he can't find where I'm trying to put in links. Go to Comment
30 Symbols for Various Societies or Shop Signs
Systems  (Artistic/Performance)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-28 08:30 PM
Okay, this is getting to be the debate of 'nose against mouth' with one on each side and me indifferent. Since Muro has promised some additions, I'm going to leave it to Muro to decide how he wants to do the formatting of the links. Go to Comment
30 Symbols for Various Societies or Shop Signs
Systems  (Artistic/Performance)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-28 08:31 PM
Muro, Val and Gossamer are taking different sides on where to put in the links. I'm indifferent so I leave it up to you to decide how to format the links since you promised some additions :P Go to Comment
30 Symbols for Various Societies or Shop Signs
Systems  (Artistic/Performance)   (General)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-15 12:13 AM
Thanks, Gossamer, for the comments. Your advice on formatting are sound and I will make the suggested changes.
For the linking, it is one of the requirements for the Freetext mashup quest although looking at actual quest subs, some do skip the links. Also, somehow I didn't get the freetext links to work anyway, will need to talk to Strolen abt this.

Anything abt the positioning of this sub? I mean, the 30s is a list but usually the good ones have a unifying theme beyond 30 xxxs i.e. they are all 30 unique and rare xxxs or 30 xxxs that have good utility use for games etc. This sub, however, is currently a mixture of the weird (no 7 and no 10 in particular) and the more common (no 4 and 5). Does this bother anyone besides myself? Go to Comment
Bareka
Locations  (City)   (Desert)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-18 01:03 AM
Just so complete a sub. Also, I find the whole Ouzquin Dremorix setting fascinating. Go to Comment
The Broken World
Locations  (World)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-16 01:04 AM
I think the write-up pretty good in general but I see a few things in the current version that are a bit unclear and prone to mis-interpretation:
1. "Terraforming on the scale of continents, nigh-unlimited fonts of sorcerous energy, the technology to reconstitute entire extinct species. One must wonder: were these People, or Gods? One thing is certain, though, the aforementioned Interlopers were confirmed to be of the latter category." I'm sort of confused by this particular sequences of sentences. Are the terraforming etc. part referring to the Eldest or the Interlopers? I know they are both "God-like" beings. It's really this the Eldest-SuperPowers-Interlopers sequence that I find leads to the mix-up.
2. When you talk abt the Interlopers' flaw, you say they cannot manifest on objects w/o sufficient mass which I take to mean they cannot appear in a physical form on objects w/o sufficient mass. This, however, does not by itself preclude the Interlopers using their powers on objects w/o sufficient mass. But then you seem to say this does as they cannot bring their minions across also b/c this flaw. I found this somewhat too wide a logical jump in the write up. Also, I'm sort of unclear on whether my interpretation on this is correct. If not, you are welcome to correct me but regardless, I do think this particular section needs to be gone over to improve its clarity.

Hope these comments are helpful. It's a good start, I look forward to the additions of the 16 species. Go to Comment
The Broken World
Locations  (World)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-16 06:00 PM
Ah, got it now. As for the reason why the Moons can't move closer, I would personally go for the Automated Defenses. I'm sort of mediocre at Physics but I thought gravity is something that works within a planet, not b/w. And anyway, unless you are very physics minded (and it doesn't sound like it in your response b/c you said gravity nonsense), I would say there's just heaps more explaination you need to give if you say that the Moons can't move any closer due to some kind of magnetic field stuff (I think that's more appropriate than gravity but then I'm not 100% sure) and I don't really know why you should bother. It doesn't add much to the story, it's just sth complex at the background of your world (unless of course, you are trying to make this a sci-fi setting and you really wanted this complex bg stuff). Go to Comment
The Broken World
Locations  (World)   (Any)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-16 07:39 PM
Ah I see, well, from what you've written so far, I kinda thought it might be one of these cross-genre settings that have elements from both fantasy and sci-fi and I was sort of unclear on which direction you were going. Personally, I understand fantasy settings much better- like you said, I don't necessarily have to delve into how magic actually works in a world but with sci-fi, I keep feeling like someone's taking me on a tour of some "awesome technology" and is just yapping on abt technicalities that I can't wrap my head around. No offense to any sci-fi fans out there, this is just how I feel. Go to Comment
The Eye Of Winthorp
Items  (Other)   (Cursed)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-12 02:58 AM
I quite like the write-up for this slightly revolting item. At first, I had some issues but the viability of this item concerning the likelihood of it being picked up by normal PCs but after thinking abt it some more, now I'm okay with it on this pt. Go to Comment
The Eye Of Winthorp
Items  (Other)   (Cursed)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-12 06:06 AM
Hmmm... must be some kind of novelty factor at play. Anyway, I was thinking a PC who's a thief would want to pick it up. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
704

Join Now!!




Fatal error: Call to undefined function top_menu() in /home/strolen/public_html/lockmor/application/views/citadel/vfooter.php on line 2