I am sorry, I thought it was clear that the amount of damage was along the lines of two broadsword's worth of damage. Otherwise why would it be so wimpy against organic and instantly devastating against rocks/ trees?
No worries. I will think of an edit to make that clearer. Go to Comment
I like the submission in terms of its format and content.
There is a good history, adaptable to many settings, to utilize as is, or adapt to a new whole.
There is a strong political and social picture presented here. It is novel and has just enough detail.
It is a little to "Ideal", perhaps almost magically so. That grates on me a little. Aside, "Can you have a Mary Sue land?"
While I can see these men being stoid fighters, I wonder how they get to be "good fighters". There is no mention of regular militia training or Lairds running combats. Not every farmer used to be a hardened merc. So while they will be tough men, they won't be skilled fighters.
And I would lose the entire last paragraph. It adds nothing really and confuses the issue. I would replace it with plot hooks and/or more comments on the culture or how to play characters from the Lairdlands. Go to Comment
Actually it seems like a good idea. However, I think the writing was pretty below standard. The history is looks like you wrote three parts, then edited them together badly. The effects section is confusing. I would pull this one back into your working spot, and rework it. Go to Comment
I see that you saw ]Undead Economy.
Might I point out....X-Jacks. I would also suggest you read some of Issac Asimov's Robot Novels? These novels take place a millenium into the future, where humans have colonized 50 planets and invented robots. They chronicle the unlikely partnership between a New York City detective and a humanoid robot who must learn to work together. This is my favorite of the three main series mainly because of the relationship between the spacers (those sneaky bastards who colonized the galaxy) and the earthers (the wimps who stayed home). This series also demonstrates how Asimov is able to work within a given set of guidlines (the famous 3 laws of robotics) and yet forward fresh and exciting ideas. Plus, they are really some of his best books all around.
Robot Visions: A collection of short stories dealing with robots (this book has more stories than the original "I, Robot"). Not necessary to read, though some of the stories about Susan Calvin (robotics pioneer) are referenced as well as a good short story called Mirror Image that takes place between the Naked Sun and The Robots of Dawn (its a Elijah and Daneel mini-mystery).
The Caves of Steel: The first novel in the Robot Series has a standard murder mystery storyline in which a prominent spacer is murdered and a Earth detective is paired up with a humanoid robot to solve the mystery. This is where we first meet Elijah Baley and R. Daneel Olivaw (the R. standing for Robot).
The Naked Sun: The second novel again teams up Elijah Baley and R. Daneel Olivaw to solve another murder, this time on the spacer planet Solaria. I remember this novel as having great plays on the 3 laws of robotics (he had robots attempting murder!). A good follow up to Caves.
The Robots of Dawn: Yet another murder mystery on a spacer planet for Elijah and Daneel to solve. A little slow, but it has a great ending. Typical 'Asimov going over your head until the end where he ties everything together and you kick yourself' book.
Robots and Empire: The last of the Robot novels is not exactly a mystery, but it is still a highly entertaining novel that bears a great importance on the later series. Elija appears briefly, but his Spacer friend Gloria and his old partner, Daneel, are the main characters. A good ending to the series (watch out for those sneaky Solarians!).
All that aside, I see one problem.
I see where you are going with this. I see some of the value. However, most of us dismiss the DnD allignment orientation you are starting from here. We either don't play a game with allignments, don't play DnD, or deal with games with different social complexes.
There are lots of societies, and game settings, where necromancy is not evil, shunned, or bad. (In fact, most shamans do a lot of necromantic magic, just seldom animate the dead).
This said, you are going to have to set up this a bit more to make it useful. You are going to need to avoid the Generic Adventure Fantasy Cliches (i.e. D&D ones).
I like to keep them a secular organization that was religious roots. That keeps them out of the power struggles that religions and knightly organizations (like this one was) are always involved with or drawn into. Go to Comment
We now have a social structure and a better explanation as to why the critters exist, do what they do, and how they function in the real world.
The species is still a little hard to take as anything more than a joke. I see where you are going with it, but it has no versimilitude for me.
They would become a navagation hazard, enough of one which would cause beings to avoid the system. If it was unavoidable, a "relocation" or displacement policy would solve much of the issue.
Once their crashing tactic was discovered, simply keeping your disance or a good set of asteroid shields negates part of it. (Thought they might take out an occasional small craft or stupid captain's ship.)
A couple of automated drones with beam banks should be able to contain these beings in their own planet, unless the galactic culture was overly naive or legally bound.
Sure they might escape the system before this was in place, but that would put a minimal number into space.
Nicely done. Someone might use it.
Oh. Can you put an extra line return between paragraphs to facilitate ease of reading. Go to Comment
This is a pre release comment - to be deleted or ignored when released.
Okay a couple of things..
A description section: I know they are like goblin.. yet there are different visualizations of goblins out there.
What are they like socially? Is there one big boss of each pod or for the entire crew? Is their a hive mind? Who directs what they copy or what projects do they do?
Are driven to copy things? Is there a psych issue here? why do they do this?
What are they like when they are not building things?
What was their little culture like pre-star tech contact? How mechanically inclined were they before? I would think they would be adequite mechnicians/ technicians just given their aptitudes. This would give them some technical abilities seperate from their photographic memory. (And this is all it is, 3d photographic memory).
And how did they get the raw materials to make to make the parts to put a ship together? Sure they could of picked up some parts from the wreck, but how did they get enough to make a copy. And that is the problem, they would of had to make a copy of that ship.. so unless it landed undamaged.. they would have no parts to make said ship since they can only copy. (or maybe the crew had a tpk and they took off from there?
This is a pre release comment - to be deleted when released Go to Comment
Nice solid basic generic item. This should exist in just about any world with adequite magic.
There should also be sheath/ quiver versions as well. Brings the item back to the belt/ back after it is gone for a time. Thus retrieving arrows from the field, weapons stuck in opponents, or those lost in the clutter of battle. Go to Comment