A solid, somewhat twisted sub. I like the way you've turned a prized speces of aqutic pet into a ravening horror. I do feel though that you could expand on this sub even further. As now sentient beings, these tangs are going to have motivations that go beyond vengeance alone. You could even make them into a distinct Acquan race with some work. Go to Comment
This is a beautiful and cinematic piece of work that could be inserted effortlessly into any oceanic setting. I love what you've done in going beyond the teachings of the Jovian Church, to demonstrate Ma-O's deeper origins are a creature that is the very emodiment of the ocean's fearsome nature. Go to Comment
A rather amusing character and the details about his numerous disguises and his penchant for employing magical boots add some colour to what would otherwise be an undistingushed, small-time smuggler. Not bad at all. Go to Comment
As usual, I enjoy your droll style of narrative writing. Moreover, I also like the personal quirks that you've added to this guy, as well as the ironic suggestion that he was expelled from the Univarsity precisely becuase he was a more competant mage that his fellow students and teachers. The only complaint I have, is that while giving him a demonic background was a unqiue twist on the orignal entry, it should merited somewhat more attention. After all, it's not an every day occurance for some hell-spawned fiend to bear a part-human infant. All in all though, this is a rather enjoyable sub. Go to Comment
A well executed sub with a back story that adds great depth and gritty realism to their story. This tale actually reminds me of the American Civil War, during which armies of driven and motivated Conferdarate volunteers repeatedly beat back much larger but mostly demoralised armies sent forth by the Union. Go to Comment
An interesting NPC whose rage against symbols of clerical power has a rational and feasible explanation. Could his loathing for rich nobles be explained by the fact that they have as much to do with the slave trade as powerful clerics? Go to Comment
Why exactly does he insist on avoiding the royal court even though the man who ordered his execution, is long since dead? Does the order still stand? Or is he simply wary of being betrayed again by the royal court? Go to Comment
Splendidly done! Almost all these various staff-like implements are excellent items can that make an exciting adventure for a PC who finds himself confronted with any one of them. From the slaver's goad that can inflict searing agony on adventurer attempting to cut down a slaver, to the Clovern-hoof staff that the Minotaurs will pay a handsome staff to retrieve, these are all objects that I would love to encounter in a game. Go to Comment
As a matter of fact, the Maoist Communist who terrorised large swathes of the world during the Cold War, were actually the inspiration for this NPC. I wanted to channel revolutionaries who weren't stereotypical ''good guys'', so to speak. Go to Comment
Would you like me to add those details? I could expand the Roleplaying notes section quite a bit if you think that doing that would result in a more well-rounded NPC. Go to Comment
This is not a bad sub. However, perhaps due to the frivolous nature of the entry inspired that this NPC, I have to agree with Val that I can't exactly see her playing a dramatic role. As far as plot hooks go, I have a suggestion that you might find useful. Perhaps the princess's attempts to find true love for a royal sibling, results in a full-scale war as it derails a union meant to strengthen ties between two nations? Go to Comment
An interesting NPC with details that make him stand out from the run-of-the-mill pirate. Nicely done. Does Edward Bailey ever find himself yearning for his original home on dry land? Go to Comment
This is a pretty interesting sub, with lots of potential plot hooks. It is concisely written and is farily easy to understand. I also like the fact that the current order of Dreamwalkers were not the first to discover this ability. Is there any reason why the higher ranking members of the order refuse to divulge the existence of the previous Dreamwalkers to the current one? Go to Comment
The Ragori Lifeforms (Intelligent Species)
(Swamp)
Quite an unfortunate individual. Her predicament is really quite dire. Among her own people, she was seen as an eccentric who had a bizzare obsession with dancing. And among humans, she's seen as a freak that's good for a laugh, but not much else. Stuck between two cultures, neither of which can appreciate her talent, she serves as a good reminer of what happens to those that dare to differ. Go to Comment
Lifeforms (Unique) (Water)