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Overly-Attached Chainmail
Items  (Armor)   (Cursed)
Longspeak's comment on 2014-01-14 06:54 PM
An interesting idea. Like Valadaar, I have trouble envisioning this as chain mail, but that's a minor nitpick for me. An interesting idea I can see using in one of my Everway stories.

My only issue is the need for a bit of editing to tighten up the language. Nothing wrong with the idea, but the execution could use some polish, so I held back a bit in my voting. Go to Comment
Overly-Attached Chainmail
Items  (Armor)   (Cursed)
Longspeak's comment on 2014-01-15 08:31 PM
PMed you. Go to Comment
Ms. Carlyle
NPCs  (Minor)   (Technical)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-11-28 01:39 PM
I'd have rated higher if it were a bit longer, but I love the feel. Someone else said "Fallout," so I'll only echo that reading this, I was immediately beset by thoughts of a scenario set somewhere in the Nevada Wastelands.

Of course, a version set in the modern day could be interesting, and I could see this fitting into my modern supers... I wonder how she'd get along with the newer nanotech-based AI living inside Sarah Voltaire? Go to Comment
Desert Rose
Locations  (Regional)   (Desert)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-17 02:13 PM
Thanks for the feedback. I'll check the codex, too. It's funny... I originally wrote the adventure in the early 90s, then shelved it because my group at the time decided to play supers instead. Years later, with a different group, I was trying to come up with a short adventure to follow-up a very intense story we'd just finished. That song came on the radio and reminded me of my story... same name... I pulled it out, made a few changes, and ran it. And the tale turned out to be just as intense as the one we'd just finished, though much shorter.

The Rose I wrote here became a little more sinister in the end than the one I ran for my group, but it felt right, making the legend a deliberate tease for greedy folk to feed the garden. Go to Comment
Desert Rose
Locations  (Regional)   (Desert)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-10-17 04:24 PM
The tale talks about how the land prospered in ancient times. Rose, now weaker, keeps the desert (and in some iterations the entire continent) alive now. Without her, it all ends. In my plot hooks, I mention an actual play with Heroes questing to save the land. The entire continent was suffering drought, and the legend drew the heroes to the desert. There they found Rose dying. Years earlier (at the beginning of the drought, coincidentally), an unsavory group found its way to her and sought the rose of legend. She used too much energy to defend the garden, and as she slowly died, so did the land. The heroes had to restore her to restore the land. Which they did by sacrificing one of their number. I actually have a sub in the works which ties in here as well. Go to Comment
Dragon's Wake
Locations  (City)   (Water)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-16 06:22 PM
Update: Summary fixed and a few typos caught. Go to Comment
Dragon's Wake
Locations  (City)   (Water)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-20 07:56 PM
You're right, a bit. I probably should have made one or two locations, and the event separately. In fact, this might be more properly described as the event, and then I should make the location separately.

I can see where some of what I had in mind didn't translate to the page. I'll edit to clarify. Though it does say the Tower of Dreams still stands to this day, the fate of the buildings is not quite as clear. My original intent was none of blue stone buildings survived, but in retrospect some probably should... might make people surviving more implausible if the city is crushed flat. Go to Comment
Dragon's Wake
Locations  (City)   (Water)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-20 08:59 PM
Update: Edited four paragraphs after the dragon vanishes to more clearly discuss some of the aftermath. Go to Comment
Dragon's Wake
Locations  (City)   (Water)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-10-17 04:50 PM
Thanks for the feedback. Your comments highlight some issues I've had removing events and places from their game- and world-specific context to make them more widely useful. I need to think on that a bit.

The odd buildings were inspired by a piece of artwork. I tried to find a copy online to link to but could not. The building almost look like they were grown, not built.

Regarding context... You're right. This probably doesn't work in most settings. This was part of a story in Everway, in which there is a context for Dragons as... ancient beings of unimaginable power. Old Dragons were second only to the Gods in power, and in fact their legend is very similar to the stories of angels told today: First beings created by the Gods, perfect and powerful, favored of the Gods', The worlds men live in today were created by the Gods for the Dragons to play with. Not the Dragon's natural habitat, but a playground. Until one day they began to defy the will of the Gods'. There was a great war and all the Old Dragons were killed, or punished afterward. Modern dragons and many other monstrous beings are descended from those punished dragons, and much lesser in scope.

Into this setting I placed a legend, of an Old Dragon who was considered old by the other Dragons of its time. This Dragon spent all its time sleeping, and in fact slept through the entire war. When the Gods finally noticed it, they couldn't bring themselves to punish it. They set it down on a world and left it alone, to dream its dreams.

Everway is a setting of multiple words, and as the Dragon slept away the ages, its magic warped the worlds around it, changing how the gates worked, and even moving them so one set at its head and one near its tail. It also bolstered magic in the entire world. Men found their way there, marvels at the odd mountains, built a city, etc.

So, when the Dragon woke, it vanished, to go home. I have a sub in the works which further discusses this, too. I've been very lax about finishing my subs though.

As to the classification... yeah... I've waffled on that. Maybe this is more of an event after all. Go to Comment
Winter's Gem
Items  (Jewelry)   (Sentient)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-16 01:03 PM
Nearly perfect. Well-written, I love the tone; and the tale, and I can easily this in one of my Everway games. Quite soon. Go to Comment
The Five Orders of Ivory Tower
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Country/ State)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-12 04:24 PM
Update: Formatting Issues. Go to Comment
The Five Orders of Ivory Tower
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Country/ State)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-15 07:44 PM
Thank you.

The piece I'm working on now will talk about the Dragon a bit. Less desert, though. Go to Comment
The Five Orders of Ivory Tower
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Country/ State)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-19 12:20 PM
Yeah, that was a straight typo. There should be a period there. :) Go to Comment
The Five Orders of Ivory Tower
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Country/ State)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-19 12:40 PM
Actually, now it's a colon. Fixed a few other bits, too. Go to Comment
The Five Orders of Ivory Tower
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Country/ State)
Longspeak's comment on 2015-01-31 01:19 PM
Some good points here. Let's take them in order...

The "cast off mention" is there expressly as an example. I ask "What is the secret" and then list how it played out in my game only to show one possibility. I strongly believe dark secrets should be the province of the GM. However, there is another sub discussing the Dragon. I should add the link to it here.

I'm not sure where "founding a magic system" was inferred, except in the Saphirine's mention of their "Wind and Sand" Tradition.

For Saphirine, I'll never change it. I love that name. For Lilac... yeah. I needed a good purple name and Amethyst is just... done. So overused.

There was a time I'd planned to discuss the other orders at length. Perhaps I'll revisit that sometime. As for NPCs... Also maybe. Go to Comment
The Tower of NON
Locations  (Fortification)   (Any)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-09 08:15 PM
I really like the "of course it works that way" attitude of the writing. It'd be a great encounter in a slightly tongue-in-cheek game, too. And... how did they get there? About half way into their journey, wouldn't they be "scaling the cliff" of the part of the world that's perpendicular to their normal environment? So many possibilities for strange fun. Go to Comment
The Tower of NON
Locations  (Fortification)   (Any)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-13 01:16 AM
There is a market for items and materials from the other side of the world. Since a pound of mass from the other side cancels a pound from our side, a skilled craftsman can build remarkable items combining wood, or stone, ingots of iron or steel, or other raw materials from both sides. Just imagine the possibilities, such as:
A sword or other weapon weighing nothing but still possessing the mass a proper weapon needs.
A sturdy pack which cancels the weight of items placed within.
A perfectly balanced arrow which fires further because gravity doesn't pull at it as strongly,
Heavy iron boots which make the wearer lighter on his feet. Go to Comment
The Most Serene and Devoted Temple of the Moon
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-10 12:13 AM
Nice, Very evocative, very Everway. Well written and imaginative. I will find a way to use this. Go to Comment
Dwarven Calendar
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Specific)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-10-17 12:45 PM
I'll say right up front there WERE too many weird words for me, but that's a matter of taste and preference and doesn't detract from the quality of the sub.

This is a really good piece. For me, the best thing about it is the way it looks at Dwarves and looks at a major fundamental difference between them and humans. So many works fail in this respect, and you find yourself reading or watching short, grumpy, bearded humans instead of dwarves. They just don't get into the headspace of these alien beings. But works like this this help make dwarves more... real.

I'd love to see more pieces like this which help explore these differences.

On the technical side, it's very well written. Nicely detailed, well crafted and utterly worthy. Go to Comment
All Quiet on the West Third Street Front
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-05 03:56 PM
Update: Formatting Issues Go to Comment
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