Thank you for your feedback. Think I'll start with either the Clones or a sub about the Republic itself. It'll probably sound pretty disjointed, but as things progress that should clear up. Go to Comment
Whilst I don't find it depressing like Longspeak, it does have a much darker note to it. It's interesting to see her transformation from Human into animal, and how that affects her, you really bring that across to the reader.
To me it still seems a bit bare-boned and I would have liked to add more depth, which isn't something I'm generally good at, or just haven't tried hard enough. I prefer to make and use characters that can be easily used and adapted for use in almost any setting and that have enough personality and history to make them useful and possibly even entertaining, without having to come up with an entire biography.
It feels good to upload something here again, and thank you for your support :) Go to Comment
Here, again, I like the way the story has progressed. Though I'm sorry for Ellen's breakup with Evie, and even sorrier to see her decline, if that's the right word. Perhaps let go of herself would be a more appropriate description.
As far as everyone knows, the Maze has always been there; the strange pair of gates set in the side of a mountain a common feature in every painting of the area, no matter how ancient. One white, one red, nobody knows what they're made of but they resist any attempt to damage them; they’re always slightly cool to the touch no matter the weather, they have a very reflective surface, and if you look at them in a bright light, sometimes it looks as if they glow on their own.
The important thing is what’s on the other side of them, of course. The Maze itself is a strange place where the normal rules are suspended, and its own set takes their place. It’s a place filled with puzzles and riddles, monsters and traps; it’s always consistent with itself in any single run but is never the same two times around, and sometimes you could swear it has a sadistic streak, delighting in tricking the unwary adventurer.
It is a dangerous place, as so many people will rush to tell you; most people who go in never come out, and even those who do usually end up scarred for life. They also bring out with them enormous piles of riches, which is why people keep going in anyway.