Thank you for your feedback. Think I'll start with either the Clones or a sub about the Republic itself. It'll probably sound pretty disjointed, but as things progress that should clear up. Go to Comment
Whilst I don't find it depressing like Longspeak, it does have a much darker note to it. It's interesting to see her transformation from Human into animal, and how that affects her, you really bring that across to the reader.
To me it still seems a bit bare-boned and I would have liked to add more depth, which isn't something I'm generally good at, or just haven't tried hard enough. I prefer to make and use characters that can be easily used and adapted for use in almost any setting and that have enough personality and history to make them useful and possibly even entertaining, without having to come up with an entire biography.
It feels good to upload something here again, and thank you for your support :) Go to Comment
Here, again, I like the way the story has progressed. Though I'm sorry for Ellen's breakup with Evie, and even sorrier to see her decline, if that's the right word. Perhaps let go of herself would be a more appropriate description.
When the campfires grow dim, stories are told. Stories of lost cities, great heroes and legends of old. One of these is the story of Knurlheim. Once the proud capital of the Dwarfs, now a ruin- abandoned long ago. Filled with vast riches and treasure. It’s secrets forgotten with the decline of the Dwarfs, long ago. No one knows is certain if it ever exsisted at all.