First of all, I would call this a stub. You could for instance include some background story, who made it, who owned it previously and so on. Second, it was good that you included that last part otherwise this could easily have been a game breaker. That being said, the best laid plans and all that, what if the PCs stop the Npc from using it and then takes it off of him? I can think of several ways, poison, sleeping spells etc. Go to Comment
If you were trying for drama and portent, saying "cock" might spoil it somewhat(players y'know). There's also a lot to keep in your head, but I suppose it all depends on what kind of players you have. Go to Comment
Y'know I re-read it, and I didn't realize before that the whole thing rhymed, so changing it to Hawk broke it, sorry about that. And it doesn't make sense to give a Hawk bread, but it does to give it to a chicken, so if I were you I would just ignore what I said and change it back really. Good that you added that extra info though. Go to Comment
Hmm, I must have missed this one. Goodness, I'll probably end up reading all of these before the PBP ends. Ehm, right, the sub itself; Lots of nice lore, I would say that even if this being isn't really evil, it makes sense given the nature of the desert and the OD's culture. Coyote's snatching babies and what not, so a dog shaped being fits very well. Go to Comment
Well, if you don't know what's missing, it would be kind of hard for me to rectify it then. I know it's a tad bite-sized, but not everyone likes to read long chunks of someone else's stories. Sometimes all you need is a little nudge to get your own creativities flowing. But by all means, if there's something missing (that you can point out) I'll see what I can do about it. Go to Comment
Nice idea Shadow, still keeping true to their view of balance but moving away from the inherent contradictions you would have with only a good and an evil god. No doubt that would be the natural evolution of this cult, once it is being led by smarter leaders. Go to Comment
Thank you for taking the time to vote Strolen. :) That last part sounded a bit vague though. I've been thinking about adding in the parts that have been brought up so far, e.g. the best way for a PC to embrace the cult etc. But I'm not sure what you mean by delving further. I could always add more filler, maybe a short desciptive story for ambience? But other than that, I'm not sure what else to say about the core principles that haven't allready been said. Since the cult could in theory follow any deities, it is really hard to add special rituals, distinct flavour etc. Go to Comment
"How you decide to follow their commandments is up to you, whether you try to find some common ground in both, or alternate between the creeds somehow. The keyword is balance, for every evil there must be good, and vice versa."
I left it vague partly since the cult is so broad, some take it seriously, others don't. So either they try to find some common ground between their chosen deities, do good one day, do bad the next, or do one good deed, and the next an evil one. Or maybe they flip a coin like you said.
But they do take some commandments from all their chosen deities, whether they warp them to have more in common with their other deities or if they just pick a few they like from each.
I'll look into adding this once I find some time. This was what you had in mind, right? Go to Comment
I just have to ask, is it really supposed to say "weilders" and "warens"? Not Wielders and Warrens? You don't seem to have misspelt anything else, but those words just seem so out of place. Go to Comment