3) Qouar'lanthian Flegxmorrin
Physical Description: A multidimensional distortion with a blue hue.
Recommended only for creatures from and above the fourth, or below the third negative dimension. It requires no sustenance other than ultra violet lighting and leaves no droppings. It moves through both time and space, and because of this any normal return warranties are voided at the moment of purchase. While harmless it is recommended that you keep all extremities away from its event horizon, as the distortion(though only a temporary thing) can be frightening to behold in such an up close and personal way.
Interesting. Here are some typos and grammatical errors;
Kensu became used to feelings of guilt and shame
Kensu's handling of the dowry could not have come as a surprise.
his mind kept up a steady train of conversation
If Jua-awl was going to be so high and mighty about this he shouldn't have accepted the wager. If he cared so much about my fiance's family, why did he collect on the Wager,
what sort of a man, what sort of a bookkeeper takes a wager, collects it and then grows self conscious about how this bet will affect a family, and a wealthy family no less. I bet Jua-awl doesn't contact the brother-in-laws of the white washer men or stone masons he collects from.
row canyon between the two ridges held Undertown
An accomplished patron of vice like Kensu knew the glade
would force an innocence upon his pursuers, and hoped that this would spare his life. .
Sorry for taking a few creative liberties, some of it couldn't merely be corrected with a single word.
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(Haven't checked the rest).
Wow, that Mu'un-Gon-Grel sounds like more trouble than she's worth. =P It would take a very special kind of crazy, to start a fly farm, a spider farm, a rat farm, meticulously watch them all the time from they're hatched/born, kill a cat AND sacrifice more than 2years worth of your life(as well as ruining said life completely), just to kill two people. Isn't the idea of a devil's deal, that you're supposed to want it, but the side-effects come later as a surprise?
Also, I'd be careful using the word demon in a submission about devils. They're not the same thing, depending on who you ask anyways.Go to Comment