Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Whitebone Tomes
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Sentient)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-07-10 05:08 AM

Very nice, I especially liked the raven book and this part; "Ahlgru made a great hullabaloo!" That made me smile. When you made your library sub I was hoping you would make the books as well.

As for typos, I really shouldn't even bother in a text that contains words like "dids't". :P
But there were two that broke the pace of the text;

whoever you touch fall alseep instantly (depending on saving rolls).

If you speak this to the doorman he will let you though, but if you try to force or trick your way in

I assume the one in the flavour poem was intentional.

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Oleastra
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mystical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-07-10 05:54 AM
This looks really strange. Y'know there's a link to the html converter on the sub creation page. I assume that's what went wrong here, unless you've intentionally taken a short sub and tried to make it longer. Go to Comment
Oleastra
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mystical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-07-10 11:39 AM
No, I mean the fact that all the text is compressed into the left corner. You don't see it? Did you write this on a phone, or something? Go to Comment
Oleastra
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mystical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-07-11 05:38 AM

Okay, removed the comments so I won't clog up your sub, now that it's fixed. As it stands right now, it's rather short, but since she's a minor character I'll overlook that.

I assume Soul Reaving is explained in the Halan sub? I would suggest adding a short description to it here as well, for clarity's sake.

What's good about it, is that it is system neutral. And even though it seems to be mostly background information at first glance, most of what makes up an Npc is all there.
Maybe explore her motivations some more, you wrote that she follows Halan in most things, but why? Is it simply because she is his sire, so she's forced to do so? Familial ties? Forbidden romance? Basicly, what makes her tick.

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A Traveler’s Guide to Vartanadel
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Any)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-07-06 06:32 AM
I like it, reminds me of Menzoberranzan and Orlais from Dragon Age. I know you are one of those people who gets defensive over spelling, so I won't bother with typos. ;) Go to Comment
Quedoths Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-07-04 07:24 AM
I don't get it, does everyone who gets cut by the sword turn into a shark? That would be hilarious during underwater battles. I know it says the bearer of the sword, but how does that work? What if an enemy grabs the sword while the original bearer is still holding it, would he also be counted as the bearer?

If it had been like, press the pommel of the sword to polymorph the bearer, okay.
But you use the blade to initiate it. While dramatic, that's the end that's gonna end up hitting others more than yourself, so... Just wanna figure out how it is triggered.
Is the blade sentient? How does it know that you are intentionally cutting yourself, as opposed to nicking yourself by mistake. Go to Comment
Tulu
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Space)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-07-03 08:21 AM
I would assume that one or several groups would be trying to hunt these monsters down. Shapechangers are always scary, especially so when their reproductive organs double as a maw.... Is the fake body like some kind of skin pouch or external organ then, covering them? Can it be removed without them dying? Is it filled with only fluids then?


Typo;

it can be communicated with as an intelligent, it hostile alien being. Go to Comment
The Gale Shield
Items  (Armor)   (Magical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-07-03 04:16 AM
Uh, it's the ornate face on the shield. I don't think that's silly, I needed a way to activate the magic that wasn't gonna trigger unneccesarily, but wasn't so obscure that you wouldn't be able to stumble upon it either. Go to Comment
The Gale Shield
Items  (Armor)   (Magical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-07-03 04:18 AM
It's meant as a short burst once per day, so I doubt it would be able to do any of those things. But feel free to modify the power if you so wish. Go to Comment
30 Thieve's Items
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Villanous)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-07-01 05:01 AM
Some of these items could be used by others besides thieves. I was kind of hoping for something a bit more unique though, and a bit more fleshed out. That's the problem with 30s sometimes.

Also, this is a minor thing and I probably wouldn't have remarked on it if it wasn't in the title itself. The apostrophe should come after the s in Thieves. Go to Comment
30 Plumes in the Distance
Articles  (Campaign)   (Gaming - In General)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-04-21 12:45 PM
Don't have much to add, that valadaar hasn't allready said. I would definately change the deer out, deer are encountered in a forest, not much dust there. Go to Comment
Somantic Parapsychic Powers
Systems  (Mystical)   (Specific)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-06-30 06:25 AM
I felt a bit lost at first, as to what it was about, I guess you were going for making movie ninjas/samurais into a reality using these powers? That and the Knight stuff, felt like it belonged in another sub. But I guess it's because I'm not familiar with the setting.

And yeah, like SE said, those last parts felt very X-manish. Go to Comment
Somantic Parapsychic Powers
Systems  (Mystical)   (Specific)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-06-30 02:27 PM
Yeah I know you've made a few of these. Sci-Fi isn't normally much of my thing, but I figured since so few people were voting on subs atm, and since it wasn't too long... Also, I see now that this is a systems submission, d'oh! Yeah, that explains it. :P Go to Comment
Bad Omen Chinese Mythical Lifeforms
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-06-30 06:50 AM
I'll be revisiting later, when more is added. Go to Comment
Bad Omen Chinese Mythical Lifeforms
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-07-16 05:15 AM
There's not enough new content for me to change my vote. I know this is actual mythology, but maybe you should consider filling some of them in yourself, just so there's a little more meat on the bones? That or do more research (if possible).

Typo:

and can spit out fire, making them a danger. They are considered bag omens. Go to Comment
Good Omen Chinese Mythical Lifeforms
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-06-30 06:48 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Dangerous Chinese Mythical Lifeforms
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-06-30 06:47 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Harmless Chinese Mythical Lifeforms
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Any)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-06-30 06:39 AM
I may not be the right person to do this, but I feel that someone should. So, on the behalf of the Community, I would just like to thank you ML, for undertaking such a big project. Even if it isn't neccesarily your own creation, I can certainly see a use for this.

PS. I thought the moon rabbit was making rice-cakes, or is that more a Japanese thing? Go to Comment
The Wu Xing Beasts
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Any)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-06-26 12:59 PM
I agree with val, very nice formatting. But even though the pictures certainly add to your sub, I can't take them into consideration. All in all, it felt a bit complicated. I was distracted from the actual beasts, trying to make sense of the magic system. How does fire create earth? I know you weren't the one who made that sub(and I haven't read it yet), but I sort of forgot that it was meant to be about the beasts themselves, as I read it. Maybe it's the moniker beasts that confused me, since they're more on the divine side. I'm probably looking at it from a western viewpoint though, or maybe it's just me. Overall, nice. Go to Comment
Raveten
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-04-23 07:09 AM
Must have missed that part. But what is it you want help with then exactly? Go to Comment
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