Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Key, Quill, and Seal
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-22 03:29 PM
At first when I checked the uh...categories for these, I just read wand/staff, so I figured, oh so these three items will combine into a wand then...Then I reached the end, and had to take a second look, saw arcane and figured it out. I would have liked the wand idea more to be honest. Nothing that really stands out, but nothing really wrong with it. That plothook with the world tearing in twain was worth a .5 at least, though there should have been more information on the seal when used as such a campaign defining macguffin.

I don't understand how the quill is supposed to work, how is it any different than any other quill? Go to Comment
Key, Quill, and Seal
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-23 05:44 AM
Then what would be the point in using it? Go to Comment
Key, Quill, and Seal
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-24 08:48 AM
Is it possible to sunder it by force, and what were to happen if so? What material is it made of, how much does it weigh? If you threw it into a volcano or something ,what then? Go to Comment
Key, Quill, and Seal
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-25 06:32 AM
Questions answered, issues dealt with, +.5. Go to Comment
Sila'Khrysath - The Great Sand Wyrm.
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Desert)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-22 03:09 PM
Very interesting, just some minor typos I won't even write up. I have an... observation though.

This part:

"and the sound increased in pitch and volume as though it were an electrical gadget overloading. "

I can understand that it would be hard to find an equivalent of this sound in a more traditional fantasy enviroment, unless your setting has that level of technology?
Up until that point, I was under the impression of a tale told straight out of this world, but that electric gadget observation broke that spell for me. Go to Comment
Jacob Latris
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-21 11:26 AM
Maybe I missed something, but I'm having trouble understanding how you go from watching your dad die at the hands of thiefs to becoming a summoner of demons. The killing of Ralf also felt a bit unmotivated.

This part:

"He thought that if he attached himself to the rising star that was Jacob, he could become quite the Demonologist himself- or at least famous enough that he could pretend to be an excellent one. The two had an argument. The argument turned into a fight. The fight turned in a duel to the death. "

Felt very abrupt, there was no foreshadowing, just all of a sudden they started fighting to the death, for seemingly no reason. Go to Comment
Jacob Latris
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-22 08:08 AM
Questions mostly answered, thank you. That's worth another .5, I should say. Go to Comment
Lady Delores Briggs
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-21 11:07 AM
Well, this is a tough one. On the one hand it is riddled with typos and grammatical errors, to the point that it stopped the flow of the text altogether at times. But that being said, I have to say that I love this idea, of the dining room sized arena. So I'm glad I read it.

I would still urge you strongly to spellcheck it, it's a very good sub and it really deserves that extra love and care. I would also suggest that you read this post;

http://strolen.com/guild/index.php/topic,3933.msg77707.html#msg77707

As you seem to have trouble differentiating between there and their, among other things. Go to Comment
The Rosomakha
Society/ Organizations  (Agricultural)   (Area)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-21 10:47 AM
These don't seem dwarven at all to me. This is your second submission regarding dwarfs who are not dwarven, the other one being the sappers, if I'm not mistaken. All personal taste aside, lots of content and very comprehensive. Go to Comment
The Rosomakha
Society/ Organizations  (Agricultural)   (Area)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-21 11:48 AM
It is indeed more than that, but dwarves who admit to feeling fear and who aren't stubborn, is another thing imo. Go to Comment
Pra'Eimus, the Grand Archer
Articles  (Character)   (Citadel Help)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-21 10:33 AM
Apologies, but I feel you should spellcheck this. Will withhold my vote for the time being. Go to Comment
Fena, the Demon Goddess
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-21 10:31 AM
Very well written and original. Haven't got much else to say. Go to Comment
30 Prisons
Locations  (Fortification)   (Any)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-18 07:51 AM
"There are few things considered more authentic Texican cuisine than veggie sticks with hot sauce and cheeze." It is a bleak future you paint...

Gong Han stood out to me; On the one hand, if you freeze down a murderer, he's gonna unthaw the same way, so what would be the point?
On the other hand, no expenses for food or other commodities, and their sentences could be so long that the families of their victims would be long dead. And maybe they would be better people in a different era. Plus, it really makes a lasting comment about how meaningless it is to simply incarcerate people without re-educating them.

Obviously these are all serious and gritty prisons, but I had been hoping for some more different takes on imprisonment, like maybe dress everyone up in pink bunny suits and cutsey, pastel colored, fluffy enviroments, to make the prisoners lose all cred of going to prison. Still, this is well enough unique material and well written enough to deserve a full score from me. Go to Comment
Ahkti: The Great Ancestor
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Trans World)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-18 07:15 AM
I like how it evolved throughout the ages to fit with the needs of whichever era is the current one, much akin to real world religions. Not a bad come back. Go to Comment
The Shield of St. John
Items  (Armor)   (Non-Magical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-20 06:10 AM
When there's no magic to it, there's not much to do but focus on the background, and you've certainly done that. Maybe some plothooks? After all even if it's not much in the equipment department, it could still serve as a Macguffin. Go to Comment
Randy's Janitorial Services
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-15 06:03 AM
I was with you on the names up until MOPBUCKET. :P So the janitors are actually field agents who think they're reporting only to the CIA, but in actuality is also reporting to the true RJS, and they have no reason to suspect them, because they're already out in the open as their front. Brilliant. :D Go to Comment
Dark Mantle of D'Geen
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-14 04:44 AM
It fuses with their skin. So it can't be removed once an undead dons it? I would say that sounds more like a ritual than an item. And where did the witch get all those infants without arousing outrage? Maybe she was a midwife and told the mothers their babies were stillborn or something, after covertly killing them as they came out.

It gives the appearance of cognitive function, but what if you have a zombie don it, will it still go around moaning and what not? Will it protect a vampire from daylight? Go to Comment
The Kingmakers: Final Update/Autopsy
Articles  (Campaign)   (Game Mastering)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-11 07:40 AM
I was afraid of something like this when you hadn't posted in a while. That really sucks to hear, but it also sounds like you didn't enjoy it that much, so maybe it's for the better then. If you start over with better players, I'd love to read about it.

As for the sub, this is very solid advice. Go to Comment
Lunism
Systems  (Divine/ Spirit)   (Specific)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-10 10:06 AM
Would have been a full score had it had more content, but this was really good, best one I've read from you so far. I don't get why noone except the state worships Iustitia, sounds like anyone bent on revenge and/or justice would. Go to Comment
The Books of the Holders update
Locations  (Establishment)   (Other)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-10 06:08 AM
You should contact a moderator if you're having troubles, I doubt you're allowed to post the same sub twice, and if you remove the former, you lose your votes. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
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