This is good, not only for people wondering why you voted the way you did, but also as a checklist for everyone else before we click that "submit" button. Well done!
(On a side note, It's really hard to assign a numerical score to posts like these. They aren't necessarily interesting or useful to my DnD game, but they are good references, and benefit everyone.) Go to Comment
I read it as an essay about what happens to humanity when our weapons became more valuable than the people wielding them. And it's good, as an essay.
In Sumeria, your wealth was measured in cattle and fighting-men. That changed faster than our culture realized, I think.
I remember reading once a (probably bullshit) statistic that said that the US government won't spend more than $50,000 dollars to recover a lost soldier (unless its a media event), while other countries will spend less. Probably not true, but I'm sure that someone, somewhere in the Pentagon has put a dollar value on a soldier's life. Go to Comment
As the brick hits the tomato, so does this sub get 5/5.
I actually really like the poem. Poetry is so much better when the author isn't trying hold themselves back. It's just this messy jettisoning of vaguely connected ideas without any attempt to be graceful.
And the red letter clue is pretty cute, too. I'd love to give that to my players. If they figure it out, they get a spellbook. If they don't, they get bad poetry. Go to Comment
Bone stitchers are awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome.
This amulet is solid, but it still feels sort of basic. I'd rather see something weird, like a femur you have to lick in order to summon one. Or a length of string that you use to make a "spiderweb" in a moonlit window.
Are the bone stitchers really spiders? Or are they just little muttering surgery demons that happen to have a spidery body? Go to Comment
I dunno. Mostly I'm just worried that its boring or unappealing in some way. Also, I felt dirty writing about a woman getting abused this much, and I hope the misogyny of the setting doesn't turn too many people off. Go to Comment
Solid, well-written, and immediately usable. You can plop him down anywhere you want. I had to go back to another article to read about kheliaa, though, so it'd be nice if a sentence explaining kheliaa were inserted here, as well. I'm left wondering wondering about his history/character, of it he's just another greybeard wizard type researching an obsession.
And I really like the idea of his signs in the woods. The PCs could stumble across his signs long before they ever meet him. Go to Comment
Vonnegut said that semi-colons are only good for showing that you've been to college.
Anyway, thank you for all of the feedback. Crawling giants are *supposed* to be weird and alien--they're from another dimension. Burrowing "makes sense" for a giant worm, but as soon as you apply it to a giant humanoid, it is strange and terrible. And it sticks in my imagination like a chickenbone in the throat, so I'm glad I finally typed this one out. Go to Comment
Rich Romans raised fish in private pools at their villas. A favorite fish was lamprey, a parasitic fish which sucks off blood and flesh but made an excellent meal. A particuarly gruesome punishment for slaves was to be thrown into the lamprey pool, where their flesh was ripped from the bone by swarms of the jawless fish.