It dips pretty close to honeyed words, though. Go to Comment

And don't forget Old Man Stockard. His house is one of the safest places in town near the end of the summer, on account of all the flamingos he attracts. He has boxes of hats and baby costumes (tiny tuxedoes, army fatigues, etc) in his garage the he uses to bribe the flamingos. They roost all around his house. He sometimes gives the birds real gold jewelry; he must spend a fortune on that stuff. Go to Comment

I'm not sure it needs a villain. I see this more like a zombie-themed d20 modern sort of game, except the goal is normalcy instead of survival.

None of the NPCs listed are heroic-sounding, nor are they especially interested in eldritch lore. They're just people with other jobs who want to live a normal life in their town. I imagine quests would be more like "clear the football stadium of chasers and cavemen before the season starts" or "figure out why the tourists are bringing thousands of cans of cranberry sauce to the old mall and refusing entry to everyone else."

But that's just my take.

But if you want to have villains, here's some brainstorming: (1)carnivorous Santa Claus. (2) Evil sentient restaurant that never appears in the same place twice. (3) The Electric Company, whose bills require very strange payments. (4) The Internet itself (which is very different in the Nexus than anywhere else), intent on animating junkers and building a spaceship. (5) The Captain, who lives in the gigantic cargo ship in a parking lot and frequently unleashes strange things from his shipping containers. (6) Poppa Zombie. (7) Dr. Fetus. (8) The Party Animal. Go to Comment

Bicyclists
Sometimes, after a particularly heavy spring thunderstorm, you might come across big, white bulbs in the soil. They're like mushrooms, except not as spongy as your average mushroom. Anyway, these white domes grow until they are ovals about a foot long. A few more days, and the things look like helmeted heads, buried in the ground up to their noses. If you actually put your face down there for a good look, you can see that they are helmeted heads, with ears and sunglasses and everything. After a couple of more days, the bicyclist will wake up, pull himself out of the dirt, and start walking around.

Brian Cooper says that he dug one up before it was done growing, but whatever it looked like scared him so bad that he's not talking.

Bicyclists look like people, except they're really skinny and they haven't got a butt. Like, at all. Their entire body is covered in black, foamy skin that looks like the stuff that real bicyclists wear. And I'm pretty sure that the helmet and sunglasses are actually part of their head (I've never seen under their glasses, or seen them remove any of their gear).

After they pull themselves out of the ground, they usually go into a corner and make a bicycle. I'm not sure how they do it, but Alana McBride told me that they make it from their spit, and shape it like a spider weaving a web. But she was finishing a bottle of scotch, so she might have just been pulling my leg.

The tend to bike around town furiously for a couple of weeks. I talked to one soon after he was 'born', and the bicyclist was only interested in learning which roads he could take in order to map a perfect rhombus. I told him we didn't have any roads like that. Then he wanted to find a route he could ride that would take him on a perfect circle "about six or seven. . . no! eight miles in diameter!" I eventually just showed him a map, and he settled for a square route, but he didn't seem happy about it.

Bicyclists will pretty much always give you a ride somewhere if you ask. It might not be where you want to go, though, but I've ridden on their handlebars before to get to work. They bike really fast, too. I've seen one go 75 on the freeway before.

After biking around for a few weeks, though, they die. They just keel over while biking. Usually Silver River Trash Removal picks them up, but if they fall in a ditch someone's got to get them out of there. Once, I guess one died while it was biking, and flew right under Betsy Burnam's porch. I helped get the body out from under there. I guess it had hit pretty hard, because it had split open. On the inside, the bicyclist was filled with stuff that looked like chocolate cake, but smelled like vomit.

I still have the bike, though. I used to ride it to work until it started getting kinda crumbly. Go to Comment

This sub starts out somewhat ordinary, but there is some greatness that is hinted at near the end. I like the idea that the intelligent races must migrate into a different universe every so often. Maybe the Keeper of the Hourglass let's them know exactly how long they have until the end of the world? None of this "according to prophetic interpretations" stuff--I'm imagining a countdown in the sky, built from burning letters a hundred miles high. Go to Comment

I like this sub. :)

That does sound like comets, though. Maybe we've forgotten the First Tongue, and we'll decode that the comets in the sky are actually a countdown--almost too late. Go to Comment

Tapping into the energy of fabric disassociation? Like, every time I cast a spell, I bring the apocalypse closer? A wizard's college could advance the apocalypse by two years every year. Yet, without powerful magic, there is no way to escape this doomed plane. . .

I see a cultural conflict! Go to Comment

Yeah, they are really powerful for a zombie. Maybe I should have called them "time geists" or something. I think I should limit Time-Stealing claw to 1/day, though.

Their weakness = they are still zombies. They are slow, don't do much damage, aren't supernaturally durabale, and have poor perception. Most turns, they just shuffle towards you. If they start really close to you, they might hit you with their Time-Stealing Claw. They aren't really intelligent, even though they speak.

You're right. Contagious is the wrong word. What I meant was they can't multiply (only exchange the condition).

They are created when a person creates a paradox by time-traveling and is unable to reenter the normal flow of time. They are shunted into the timestream as a Time Zombie. (I forgot to add a background section, Thanks).

And while the travel in groups (the five adventurers who killed their common grandfather), what would happen in practice is: the party would kill a couple before the zombies even got to them, and they would 'catch' the revived NPC (who stole time from one of the players) and throw him back to the transformed player.

Having said that, I like your vision of a 'hard mode' version of these things. I'll add something about that.




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It's not quite save-or-die. The next turn, you get a chance to steal your time back. I imagine it being more save-or-be-traumatized-forever. Go to Comment

Holy smokes, that's a really good idea, Dragon. (Max?) Involuntary time machines are fun. Or the person that the party needs to find is a Time Zombie. Time debt is a good idea, too. I'd imagine that when you kill them, they might just leave an ordinary corpse. Destruction de-zombifies them.

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Cute and well written! I like the fire sprites being the wise ones. I'd add one or two oddball sprites to the mix, though.

Ideas: Dandelion sprites, wine sprites, poetry sprites, raindrop sprites (only live as long as the rainstorm), harvest sprites (bring you food but also make dying things die faster), rathole sprites (loves ugly things like rats and worms), sunrise sprites (very curious but forget pretty much everything each morning), eclipse sprites, tide pool sprites, the sprites who hate flowers, sleep sprites, metal sprites, hair sprites, mole sprites, fungus sprites, or erosion sprites? Go to Comment

12 - And I'm taking the kids! The party is approached by Falessa. Falessa has decided to quit both the cult and her absentee husband. However, her first attempt at this has failed, and she needs help to recover her children. Umariel is being held in the house by Huscor Blaine. Zozo is with her father, studying at the Chained Towers that hang over the Slithering Pit in the Abyss. She has since recanted her ambitions, and wants to leave the place. The Chained Towers are full of enough powerful demons to kill the PCs a hundred times over, so a direct assault is not advisable. While Razjiok is reasonable about letting Zozo leave, Fescariot the Breaker will not be.

The quest can include Umariel's rescue, Zozo's rescue, or both, depending on how challenging you want the adventure to be. Falessa can provide them with disguises and passage the Abyss (a long ladder-portal in the orchard).

Fun things that can happen in the Chained Towers: (1) The party is approached by screaming cultists who need help killing a Cathedral Beast that they created moments ago but have lost control of. The PCs will also have an opportunity to create and release some Cathedral Beasts of their own to cause some havoc. (2) Free an angel, which will blow their cover but give them an ally. (3) Some cultists have been condemned to a painful death after presenting an unacceptable eschatorium to Zala Vacha (they had a really stupid plan to end the world), and Vadregore, the Architect of Carrion, wants suggestions on how to kill them. (4) After witnessing Quangth, the Slouching Worm, steal some spellbooks from the smaller library, they'll have a chance to steal some books or turn him in (and watch the fireworks). Note that if they steal some books with Quangth, he will hang out with the party afterwards, and try to tag along. Go to Comment

Thanks! Who's Anton? Go to Comment

Ow! A wave of realized ignorance just washed over me. It was like throwing a wet towel on a puppy. Go to Comment

I just reread this with my imagination cranked to 11, and watching Fescariot break the barbarian's back over his knee (for the second time) is probably my favorite part in the whole sub. Go to Comment

I can see Lurch as Fescariot. And an adorable eldritch abomination could be Cousin Itt! I knew I forgot something! Go to Comment

A vengeful mage gives his enemies some cursed daggers. They drive you paranoid and suicidal, and when you slash someone with it, I guess the person fades out over time. If you stab them in the brain with it, do they fade out instantly?

Still a few holes. Why does he want to summon a death god? What plot was he uncovering with the captain of the guard?
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Since Van was exiled, the mood of the court has degenerated even further. The king and his cronies, once reasonable people, have descended into a mire of intrigue and mistrust. The courtiers are paranoid already, and looking for ways to eliminate each other. When they all get daggers, the paranoia from the dagger is multiplied ten-fold, even to the point of influencing those around them.

Within a few days, the palace is a madhouse. The king has ordered the guards away (not trusting them), all the doors have been locked, and half of the court has been murdered. Many members of the court have fled, thinking that some curse has come upon them, while the king and his courtiers hide and hunt each other in the darkened halls of the Elven palace. Anyone they come across is obviously an assassin, sent to kill them. Of course, the party is sent in to straighten things out, and promptly start kicking some noble elvish butt.

Oh, sweet, a magic dagger! These guys have some nice loot! Go to Comment

Also, a crazy elf king and all his powerful, verdant abjurations would make an awesome opponent.

Maybe Van Torxes will even show up to gloat over the Fall of the House of Karonie Karile. He probably won't be pleased that the PCs are here, mucking up his years of carefully laid plans. Go to Comment

There's a lot of good flavor going on in the background that I really like. Some of them seem a little generic, though. What do Drakesh look like? I'm picturing a dragon's head crawling on a nest of tentacles for some reason. Go to Comment