Infiltraitor - what a combination of infiltrator and traitor :)
Am I not funny?
Anyways, I'd like more fluff here, even in Warhamster you get more fluff for units! Cpt. Penguin would have them be the vengeful spawn of the Murdered Child, who lies shackled and undead in the rotting carcass of its god-mother, sending out these abominations born of its flesh to hunt the rapist of its parent! Rrrrraaaaagh!
It needs more Rrraaaagh! I'll hold my vote until then.
It's the classic berserking sword; a thumbs up for the back-story.
But really, the idea of a sword fuelling your wrath is so old. If it offered you the choice, again and again, and by making the wrong choice so many times, you'd succumb to wrath... that would be cool.
A welcome refreshment in a genre ripe with emo highschoolers and mopey goth poets.
Write up is good and to the point, my sole objection is that it's more of a template than a full writeup. I'd welcome giving more character to the once characterless Jane.
Sadly, the maddest and most self-assured of egomaniacal villains are exceedingly difficult to judge by this artifact. But then, perhaps nothing else can stop a certain nefarious antagonist except the black sword of the crown?
I can think of something to add - a note of how the willpower "test" is affected by circumstances: so may the life-giving judgment be more difficult as time passes from the death of the one to be restored. The more powerful the life-force of a target, the more difficult it is to snuff out with the black flame. Etc.
Less enthusiastic than Cheka, I must criticize - there are several gods that are just... templates. The Crafter, the Wren musician, barbarian river and storm god. What's new in those? What about the goddess that's simply a non-descript mother to other gods? Does she deserve her own 30-entry?
Also, consider always when making a pantheon: will it cover all the divine roles said culture needs to fill? If not, something's missing.
On the bright side, some like the Unnamed God who fights himself and all others too is brilliant. Caylin the Moon is also a beautiful idea. Make more on the level of those!
A good item, especially considering the expansion potential. Personally, I'd add very a intricate steampunky control panel to the back of the amulet; it's an experimental item, and thus requires lots of professional input - perhaps for activating anything besides the basic four forms?
Having had the honor of reading numerous of Cheka's 30s, I think there is also another kind of duplication - you repeat themes common in many of your previous submission.
I echo Dragonlordmax - some of these are really nifty, but some are redundant, and many quite mundane - to the point where they hide the good ones scattered amongst them. Really, it does not require inspiration from a Strolen's post to think of a female vigilante taking down sex offenders.
Go, and put a twist on them, I say. Make them special. Make the feminist an ex-guy, an avatar made of aggregated female essence, a shapeshifter who is learning what it's like to be female, a reformed demon or whatevs.
Also, the racist guy. You have a stereotyped evil evil racist in so many posts, it's quite boring.
Anyways. Give them one or two sentences of explanation. Give them spice. Kick out the bouncer and other filler characters.
Thumbs up for the Thinner, the Mage and Billy, though :) Also, I'd say something good about the servant of Mathom, but I'm too lazy.
Go to Comment
Shamelessly promoting my stuff :) Will add content, too.