The sub has two great elements - the description of the chase, and the idea that the Mordanfey's abilities are limited when it's being watched.
As for the unicorn, methinks it was always kinda neat, but this is an interesting twist. Go to Comment
The Seacrab's big brother, the Neptune is a compact mech with articulated arms that can mount a variety of tools, powerful spotlights and unconventionally strong armor for a civilian mech.
Being able to withstand pressures found in sea trenches, the Neptune is used for deep-sea construction, tasks on heavy-G pressure-cooker worlds and scientific exploration. A larger variant holds a crew compartment and/or a small lab in its torso.
The combat use of the Neptune is limited, but its plating has been found to be highly resistant to non-energy weapons; this is compensated by its impractical weight and the mech's sluggish speed. Go to Comment
Intelligence without sentience? Is that even possible? Perchance intelligence without awareness of self, or without sufficient will to have one's self stand up to the self of others? Or a semblance of intelligence, much like a computer has?
It's a complicated concept, and needs to be clarified. Go to Comment
This is rather nice, I say!
A good twist on the stereotypical goblin sword-fodder, with the added benefit of another colony springing up anywhere a veglin corpse is left unburnt.
What I'd add, though, is that the different tribes receive the visions in varying quality, perchance with interference from other sources, leading to peculiar offshoots of Vega's spawn, some believing rather weird stuff.
Also, low-key villains will find it tempting to impersonate Vega to gain the services of Veglins.
Ah, to comment as well: it is a well-written sub, a little generic for my taste though. As it is set in the Battletech universe, it might benefit from flavor elements (PopCon is something I see the Draconis combine deploying; there might be a paragraph how the fat slow ammo-dependent Steiner 'Mechs profit from a forward base that can refill their 10 tons of ammo, and weld those 20 tons of ferro-fibrous back in a few hours. Go to Comment