Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Twin Orbs of Poverty and Wealth
Items  (Jewelry)   (Cursed)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-12 11:38 AM
Actually - what if the Greed/Wealth god made multiple orbs of poverty linked to one Orb of Wealth? That would allow him to steal so much more, so much faster! Go to Comment
Wizards of Loh
Society/ Organizations  (Mystical)   (World Wide)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-12 08:05 AM


By your admission not your own work, only an adaptation?



Well. It does little to tickle my imagination - the bit about not openly looking for apprentices being the sole exception.



I'm sure you can do better ;)


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Wizards of Loh
Society/ Organizations  (Mystical)   (World Wide)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-14 04:13 AM
There's the Timeslip blocking spell, which can be quite useful, too. Basically vanish for a few seconds by jumping ahead. Go to Comment
Wizards of Loh
Society/ Organizations  (Mystical)   (World Wide)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-14 10:29 AM
You know what would be awesome?

As a GMing resource:
Describing how a PC might perceive those mysterious spells. The usual spell description in sourcebooks is dry, and some GMs have trouble properly portraying them.

A proper portrayal of their mysterious powers goes a long way to add to the myth of a powerful wizardly order.

As an up-side, it may be less system-specific.

The Lohites, Lohim or how one might call them short, might be turning this up a notch, to convey a stronger sense of superiority and enigma.

> Teleporting so that they take whomever they visit by surprise, yet appear as if they had always been there, just unnoticed...
> Timeslipping for dramatic effect: you blow up their tower, but the Lohite walks out, just brushing off his robe with a slightly annoyed look, pretending to have endured the whole cataclysm, while he simply was not there...
>While they may Time-Port after copious calculations in cases of dire need, they may consciously spread rumors how anyone going against them will vanish, as they ported back and prevented his conception for example...
>With the Communication Spells, the rumor may go that they are constantly in telepathic contact, even though it's not feasible under unaltered GURPS rules...

etc.

Methinks that Animation is sort of out of character for them - Summoning fits guys who regularly cross time and space better. Go to Comment
30 Ways To Be A Good Strolenite
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Gaming - In General)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-12 02:44 AM


Thank you Cheka for summing up so many important aspects so concisely.



I just read this, and will read it a few times more.



As for the gift sub - methinks it may be something taking place in another player's setting, a story involving another's submitted NPC, or ...?


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The Crowns of Glory
Items  (Jewelry)   (Campaign Defining)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-10 03:36 AM
Ah, I never read those. Are they worth checking out? Go to Comment
The Crowns of Glory
Items  (Jewelry)   (Campaign Defining)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-05-05 02:06 PM
What exactly would you see made into a book? The tale of the crowns themselves, or a tale in the world of the Crowned? Go to Comment
Deathreaper
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Villanous)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-08 09:10 AM


Thenestre is asking to have his little bubble burst.



The funny thing: as an illusionist, he'll likely get away with it.


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30 Sheaths
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Combat)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-07 02:15 AM


Echo approves. They're all useful, some of them quite original too. I especially like 26 - the Fear Scabbard, and 9 - the Tattletale Scabbard.



Still, it could use a little work-over with a thesaurus and a look at the grammar (>it's< means >it is<, >its< indicates possession by it; etc.


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The Gateway of Empire
Locations  (Fortification)   (Mountains)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-06 06:38 AM


Echo likes. You captured the despair of a failing empire well, the faded glory too.



I noticed a few spelling errors, but nothing crucial. A well-rounded submission, ready to be used.


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30 Books from the Fallen Library
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Non-Magical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-03 05:21 PM


I like how every one of them is actually a plot hook or several; it's well-written and evocative. Even one of them may start off a campaign.



A good one.


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Dust of Sages
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Underground)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-03-31 05:06 AM


I will echo (haha) the previous comment: it feels more like a stub; hence, I won't vote yet.



Give it some love, for what I read so far could grow to be great!

 


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The Barrows of the Forest Lords
Dungeons  (Forest/ Jungle)   (Puzzles)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-03-31 04:58 AM


It's very... RPG-like. Like it was made for a computer game, or for a set of characters in pen-and-paper.



Also, why wasn't it looted in the 4000 years before?



I like the prose, though.


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The Barrows of the Forest Lords
Dungeons  (Forest/ Jungle)   (Puzzles)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-02 02:20 AM
Let me rephrase. The location does not sound realistic - it seems its sole existence was to sit there, provide a modest challenge to some dude, then cease being relevant. Go to Comment
The Barrows of the Forest Lords
Dungeons  (Forest/ Jungle)   (Puzzles)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-02 02:32 PM
For example, the haunting - it is presented as penance, telling of their errors. Why then does the haunt fade after telling the story of their failure to a scant few tresspassers?

What else?
It is straightforward.
It steers players away from interaction/cooperation.
The trials could be far better.
The presentation could use spicing up.
Etc.

I am not bitching, I am intent on helping you improve. Go to Comment
The Barrows of the Forest Lords
Dungeons  (Forest/ Jungle)   (Puzzles)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-03 04:50 PM
Oh.
Sorry for trying to help.
I thought we put up things on Strolen's to get some critique.

You act like it's perfect.
Whatever. Go to Comment
The Barrows of the Forest Lords
Dungeons  (Forest/ Jungle)   (Puzzles)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-03 04:50 PM
The Barrows of the Forest Lords
Dungeons  (Forest/ Jungle)   (Puzzles)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-04 09:05 AM
If you look above, at first I offered just critique, without suggestions (not orders) - to which I received a less than friendly reply.

Hence, I elaborated, and pointed out possible improvements. Because, I'm such a nice guy.

Upon which I again receive a pissed-off paragraph.

Hence, a last suggestion: calm down, really. Or I will come to think the RG at the beginning of your nick means Rage-Guy. You know, this dude:
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZZPcU-ZbqDLNvkrun5rg57pczzUFrw4tVECwAkLI4UKWhgSQ4dw&t=1 Go to Comment
The Standard
Items  (Other)   (Heroic)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-03-31 05:03 AM


The plot hooks section is quite slim, especially with the mischief and outright disaster an anti-magic banner can wreak.



Also, I'd suggest adding some quirks and more personality a) to the known banners b) to the banners in general. So far, they're indestructible anti-magic banners. Woo.



It's okay, I guess.


Go to Comment
The Blood Beast
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Other)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-03-31 04:48 AM


I'd have welcomed alternative uses - so far, it's pretty straightforward.



> Blood beasts, in making all blood as one, could serve as universal transfusions!



> They could be distilled into healing agents!



> A colossal blood beast, stuck in a magical trap, could leak and feed a debased tribe with a fountain of unholy blood!


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