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Simply put, this is an elaboration on the basic DnD setting, which cannot be blamed for excess ingenuity. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'd like to see something new, special... and the basic DnD halflings have their own chapter in the... Races of... Destiny? Or races of the Wild, or whatever. So, my 0.02$ would be - if you write them up, you may as well make them something special. As for a race/culture write-up in general, go to greater breadth, depth and allocate space to topics according to story potential and importnace. So far, you may consider it a finished product, but not one I'd a) use b) rate highly.
Well, I wanted to give Cheka time to work some more on this, but I shall give my 0.02 $
Some of them are not original enough to warrant their own 30 entry. A silver chain? A pouch of gems? Sounds like filler... someone has been lazy!
Giving away a wife / orphan is not something the Nekron would do, IMHO.
A Notcher is more a dwarven or human item...
Aaaand many of the rest could use spicing up.
I suggest reworking this...
Like Val said, it's good, and deserves a good rating. Alas, toxic waste, mutants and ruins have been done before; the added novelty lies in the fact that a large part of the setting are ships.
Also, them utants don't have too much space allocated to them, and seem vaguely generic.
So, it's good, and useful, though I'd elaborate on a) the native 'fauna' , think up some more original plot hooks, and spice the prose up a bit.
I especially like the perky clerk who is exchanged every day, the self-correcting newspapers, and the plot with no-one having ancestors buried in the graveyard. (3, 6, 10). And, telling one guy something and the whole twon knows it.. that be quite creepy indeed (7).
Some of these plots are actually too subtle to be noticed by the players, though - no-one wearing blue is quite inconspicuous unless it's a bunch of sailors.
I'd also sum up all the "strange product" points into one.
Anyways, thanks for this, I'll use a few ^_^
A note - simple math states that Kandolari populations will dwindle - a female needs to have more than two viable offspring that reach maturity to maintain a population. If infant mortality, war and disease play a large role, this number rises steeply.
Browsing once more: hair grows out of follicles, not pores.
Also, I would not have mutant 'castes' - mutation through its very nature is random. So, the same mutants are unlikely, unless the variant is caused by dormant genes that are easily activated; or unless the mutant breeds true, giving rise to a branching-off sub-species.
With their elfin appearance and colorful hair, they also confer an anime feel - I don't know if that's intended.
So - a register with obelisks as terminals, and they perform all sorts of privacy violations, store personal information and are willing to hand it to third parties, perhaps? So prone to abuse!
At least the obelisks do not perform cavity searches.
All in all, this has great potential, but really needs a more thorough write-up.