Strolen\s Citadel content. 
30 Gifts of the Nekron
Items  (Other)   (Combat)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-07-27 09:53 AM

Well, I wanted to give Cheka time to work some more on this, but I shall give my 0.02 $

Some of them are not original enough to warrant their own 30 entry. A silver chain? A pouch of gems? Sounds like filler... someone has been lazy!

Giving away a wife / orphan is not something the Nekron would do, IMHO.

A Notcher is more a dwarven or human item...

Aaaand many of the rest could use spicing up.

I suggest reworking this...

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The Philadelphia Shipyards
Locations  (Area)   (Water)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-07-19 06:18 AM

Like Val said, it's good, and deserves a good rating. Alas, toxic waste, mutants and ruins have been done before; the added novelty lies in the fact that a large part of the setting are ships.

Also, them utants don't have too much space allocated to them, and seem vaguely generic.

So, it's good, and useful, though I'd elaborate on a) the native 'fauna' , think up some more original plot hooks, and spice the prose up a bit.

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The Leech and the Mud-Puddle
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-07-07 02:40 AM

Adorable :)

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Ram, the Dread Castle Incarnadine.
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-07-08 06:02 AM

As said, it is a summary, and needs to be fleshed out, with cool locales inside, plots and more detail in general about the castle and Ram.

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30 Small Town Horror Threads
Plots  (Mystical)   (Encounter)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-06-28 05:04 AM

I especially like the perky clerk who is exchanged every day, the self-correcting newspapers, and the plot with no-one having ancestors buried in the graveyard. (3, 6, 10). And, telling one guy something and the whole twon knows it.. that be quite creepy indeed (7).

Some of these plots are actually too subtle to be noticed by the players, though - no-one wearing blue is quite inconspicuous unless it's a bunch of sailors.

I'd also sum up all the "strange product" points into one.

Anyways, thanks for this, I'll use a few ^_^

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30 Small Town Horror Threads
Plots  (Mystical)   (Encounter)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-06-28 11:17 AM
Ah, very much like a Slovak village where no one brews schnapps, then. Highly suspicious. Go to Comment
Ten Curious Country Customs
Locations  (Regional)   (Other)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-06-26 12:41 PM

It's useful and the writing is good.

What I'd welcome is to have more folk customs with actual fantasy elements.

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The Kandolari
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (City/ Ruin)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-06-14 07:32 AM

A note - simple math states that Kandolari populations will dwindle - a female needs to have more than two viable offspring that reach maturity to maintain a population. If infant mortality, war and disease play a large role, this number rises steeply.

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The Kandolari
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (City/ Ruin)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-06-19 02:28 PM

Browsing once more: hair grows out of follicles, not pores.

Also, I would not have mutant 'castes' - mutation through its very nature is random. So, the same mutants are unlikely, unless the variant is caused by dormant genes that are easily activated; or unless the mutant breeds true, giving rise to a branching-off sub-species.

With their elfin appearance and colorful hair, they also confer an anime feel - I don't know if that's intended.

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30 Alchemists
NPCs  (Extras)   (Mystical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-06-01 11:02 AM

Give us all 30, I say.

If you are concerned about the sheer amount of text, to make it more browse-able, you could provide a teaser (a few words) telling what each is about.

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30 Alchemists
NPCs  (Extras)   (Mystical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-06-10 03:42 AM

Good content, this one. Some of them stand out as excellent, like the Heir of Wishes. Some are adorable - the Prodigy. A few of them could use improvement, like 7 or 23.

I can see myself using this.

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The Registers
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-05-28 10:40 AM

So - a register with obelisks as terminals, and they perform all sorts of privacy violations, store personal information and are willing to hand it to third parties, perhaps? So prone to abuse!

At least the obelisks do not perform cavity searches.

All in all, this has great potential, but really needs a more thorough write-up.

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Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Villanous)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-05-28 10:47 AM

This is pretty sweet ;) It is fun, useable and complete.

Here, have a HoH.

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EchoMirage's comment on 2011-05-15 01:36 PM

The Githalti and the Lheans need to be expanded, of course - while they may keep to themselves, the intrepid PCs will no doubt pester them, and the GM needs to be prepared.

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EchoMirage's comment on 2011-05-19 03:40 AM

I thought on this a little: the Elves could be manipulative bastards. Just consider it: you have limited resources, limited space, and all those humans and orcs breed like rabbits. The only thing that keeps them from fillingg every space is that they kill each other constantly.

What if they stopped?

With a little encouragement, they are prone to go bashing each other again. With elven guile and sorcery, this is all but child's play.

So, the elves play the factions off againt each other, to draw attention away from their secluded homeland.

They may even acknowledge that some humans have potential, and lure them away, giving rise to all the myths about faeries abducting children.

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The Mask that Grins and Lies
Items  (Clothes)   (Cursed)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-05-19 03:44 AM

It follows the classic "One Ring" path of an useful item corrupting the owner. The write-up is allright. I'd like to hear more history and reason behidn the item, and something to tell it apart from all the other "boon-then-damnation" items.

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The Undead Knights of Knonii
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Regional)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-05-06 09:47 AM

Echo likes, a lot. Especially the aspect of how they are not hollow armor, but rather armor that wears people... or pieces of them, at least. I can really imagine a bunch of Knights holding down a captured victim, and forcibly dressing him up in the armor, then letting him rise as a complete knight.

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The Undead Knights of Knonii
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Regional)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-05-06 02:36 PM
In Soviet Russia, armor wears you! Go to Comment
Lydecker Cain, The Universe That Was
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Knowledge/Lore)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-03-26 09:36 AM

I join in Pieh's confusion.

It sounds like something from Warren Ellis, albeit with less clarity.

I too am withholding my vote.

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Corran's Self-Closing Chamber Pot
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Cursed)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-04-22 04:09 AM

It's fun - and sparks ideas about other cursed items of hygiene - toothbrushes, razors, combs, etc.

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