Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Ark
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (Area)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-09-06 04:43 AM
Indeed. Hence, as long as the Ark will not bend over and take it like a good... girl, there will be all sorts of interesting conflicts. Even though they are but humble scholars, they are not toothless.

Another point: Ark scholars will be the main writers of history - offend them, and for all times to come, you shall be known as a drunkard and buffoon, and your daughters as harlots of satanic bent.
They may also have bards and entertainers, who will make sure to paint any uncouth lord-ling blacker than pitch.

Anyways, I like it. Conflict makes for good tales. Go to Comment
Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-09-01 04:56 AM


I can see them involved in a grand, if silly quest: "Magic is suddenly failing! We are doomed!" Of course, it's just Bobeerin overpopulation.



A tyrannical regime could use them out to sniff out wizards. And once they taste a spellbook, wizards beware!



Adorable. Alas: what is their origin? How does their intelligence manfest? How do they interact with cultures? Any predators or enemies? Etc.


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Rings of Mutual Exclusion
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-09-01 05:11 AM
Apportation Research
Articles  (Setting Building)   (Gaming - In General)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-30 05:16 AM


Now this is a mystery that needs some explaining - why did everyone have bloodshot eyes? Why did he go mad? Pray tell!


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Demon Spectacles
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-28 04:32 AM


Well, this raises the classic Paladin issues: does being evil but not actually doing evil make you a target for prosecution?



How long does it take for a crime to 'fade' and no longer be detectable by the spectacles? What has to be done to wipe a sin from you?



Also, what is a grave sin to one is an amusing antic to another - for example, gay sex or blasphemy. If they detect solely crime, which law system do they use?



What about making the depictions of the spectacles dependent on the general perceptions of the wearer? So a very lenient person will not see minor sinners as demons, just as humans, while an intolerant one would find himself surrounded by the vilest fiends.


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Demon Spectacles
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-09-19 10:29 AM


Ok idea, but naively presented, has some serious issues (see my above comments).


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Falcon Coins
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-28 04:01 AM
Well, the author states they're mostly large denominations, and I think it's good as it is. Sending 20 000 gp would be as tedious as it sounds, prompting the payer to make a personal delivery. You'd have a large stash of unenchanted currency, and a smaller for distance payments. Go to Comment
Falcon Coins
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-28 04:06 AM


This is so unique and hillarious that the short description provided is truly sufficient.



I'd add but two things:



*Traceability of the coin: can mediums or the like trace where a coin has been?



*Interception of the coin: I echo a previous comment: could a thieving Potter clone snatch them from mid-air to enrich himself? Sure, their enchantment needs to be temporarily suppressed, but perhaps... perhaps catching them is something only a few extremely dextrous individuals could do, making Falcon Coin theft a way of living for a few, while ensuing most transfers are safe.


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The Arbiter - Two-Bladed Sword
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-28 03:52 AM


This is "so DnD" - the lore is decently written, but the whole "weapon made to stop the greatest foe" approach has been used too often and is made only slightly better by having been made by two working in unison.



Also, it's a sword. With a dragon inside. That turns you into a dragon. I know Dungeons and Dragons is supposed to be about as much about dragons as it is about dungeons, but overdoing it with the dragons may lead to diluting their dragony awesomeness and making them less special (been there, done it).



This said, the sword can be a good McGuffin; I'd have included a limiting clause though or some sort of drawback which makes players less inclined to keep it after they down the Big Nasty.



Another note: the bargain Lord Brax struck with the dragon could have actually borne the seeds of his demise - you write he had the power to claim the soul of the dragon - so the dragon in turn should possess the "power, strength, endurance, and knowledge" to defeat him, in turn. Hence, the dragon-turned-blade could indeed be fed a stream of thought betraying the villain's plans or next strike in that battle (knowledge), drain him of vigor feeding its weilder and striking true as defensive enchantments woven by Lord Brax fail miserably to deflect this one weapon.



Also, welcome to the citadel.


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The Arbiter - Two-Bladed Sword
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-28 03:55 AM


Ah, the vote.


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The Sigurdian Bowgun
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Combat)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-23 01:38 PM


You could go with a spring mechanism, with a winch to draw back a hideously strong metal coil... or you could make it a Gauss crossbow, propelling the bolt along the barrel with whatever technobabble strieks your fancy.



Also, I don't think fletching per se has to impart a spin on the arrow, it ensures that the arrow does not tumble.



As it is, the technological solution does not make too much sense.



On a different note - you can really go way out there: what if the bolts are magnetic - and coincidentally, the magic used to enhance the armors of the cavalry improves all the properties of the metal, including attracting magnets, disproportionately so?


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The Sigurdian Bowgun
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Combat)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-24 01:38 AM
Ok, so no magic then.
The two bows are still more of an image thing, though. Because: you are aware that bows do come with various amounts of pull? The weak ones can be bent with little force, and likewise exert as little force on the arrow. The strong bows exert over 200 pounds of pull.

Only, exceedingly strong pull becomes difficult with crossbows as they require more and more elaborate mechanisms to cock them. Hence, perhaps you could come up with a clever and inventive solution for winding up hideously strong crossbows? Go to Comment
The Sigurdian Bowgun
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Combat)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-25 01:53 AM
Actually, yes they would combine their strength in this case. When a car hits a wall at 30 mph, the wall hits paradoxically back with the same force. Hence, it's as if two cars collided. (damn you, Newton!)

In the case of the bows, it's very much like trying to bend two sticks at once - they're more difficult to bend than one stick. By their powers combined, the bow-handgun is the bow-handgun.
What I am worried about is the homogenous transduction of force from two bows to one arrow. And also the consideration: why the hell would I use two bows when I can simply use a stronger one?
The problem is not one bow being too weak, rather it's in bending such a strong bow. Go to Comment
Classified Genetic Material
Items  (Other)   (Campaign Defining)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-23 02:06 AM
Hylandpad: epidemic or pandemic; endemic means limited to a region.

Alas - I would love to have a CGM quest. Go to Comment
Prophets and Sorcerers
Lifeforms  (Ethereal)   (Any)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-23 02:17 AM


It's somewhat similar to Dragon Age's approach - spirits being drawn to open minds and either invading, or coexisting.



Also, check spelling and grammar, please.



All in all, it might make for good story material.

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The Vortex Well
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-17 02:35 PM


This set-up leaves little room for adventuring, though.


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The Hell of Half-Nothings
Locations  (TransWorld)   (Any)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-18 02:13 AM


Given the nature of this particular hell, it may be difficult, but methinks this lacks ... something... to make it really stand out.


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The Non
Locations  (Other)   (Other)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-18 02:17 AM


Indeed, the part about entering the Non is what sets it really apart.


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Katumus
Locations  (TransWorld)   (Other)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-18 03:23 AM


Reminds me of a tale by... Gaiman, methinks. Anyways, exceedingly well written. The sole objection is that the Judge's punishments are a little literal.



You might want to edit out a few mistakes, such as the second plot hook lacking "hero" in the first line (A great ... has been etc.)



Echo likes.



A well-deserved 5, I'd say.


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The Box
Locations  (TransWorld)   (Other)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-18 03:25 AM


A little limited, needs to be expanded methinks. Also: add room for adventure, lest it is but a piece of color.


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