I'd expand on the Puppet Master.
> Brute control is crude. For a twist, the AI might just help them to catharsis, to understand what's wrong in their lives... and suddenly, they abandon the Zaibatsu, or see their sins and dishonor, and kill themselves. The AI may even be well-meaning.
And, I'd add The Prophet.
> A wise man died during his dream session - but he persevered in the dreamscape, and speaks to dreamers. He may even attract a cult and following. Go to Comment
A worthy addition to the Cosmic era, and helps illustrate the culture of Nippon well.
I like how the idea of dreams for sale exceeded the established trope of addiction and withdrawal from reality, and became an artistic experience. Go to Comment
Well, this really could use expanding with notable landmarks of the fields (e.g. a burned temple, some anomaly that may have been the source of the plague) and notable NPCs or monsters.
You also could add the explanations you provided in the comment to the main text.
Also, plot hooks! Go to Comment
I like cheese, and this is a very cheesy treat indeed. My favourite part is the soul gem placement though.
I know that old-school often had no motivation for villains, but what is she using all that power for? Or is she evil for the sake of evil and power? Go to Comment
I think they don't even want to restore her, or to substitute the hormones. Why deal with puberty when you can have a perfectly stable kid general?
Possibly, I'd revisit what kind of body she chooses for herself; it might not be girlish teen androids. The gamer in her might choose a body that appears imposing, epic and still cool, an iconic over-the top sculpt that has nothing to do with how she might have looked if not for her sickness. Go to Comment
I like the concept a lot, and think this is an excellent piece.
It's just, I sense that the creative force behind it made it stumble over itself in the effort to get written, and it feels hurried in places, and I'd welcome more detail in others.
(I'll change my vote to a higher one then)
(btw., Earth as both cradle and penal colony of humanity is rather funny) Go to Comment
I have to note that genomic alteration will not fully alter a personality; it is necessary to re-write the wiring of personality that had its basic layout provided by the genome and was filled out by experience.
A purely genomic change could alter the type of neurotransmitter receptors expressed, their quantities, etc., inducing broad-spectrum changes in behavior and trends, such as increased docility.
As said, the tattoo is but a brand, a mark of Cain, it could use a greater connection to the core of the sub.
Also, as you're rewriting the genome, the changes would be inheritable?
I would highly recommend GURPS Biotech for a thorough discussion of this topic - but you covered the main issues very well.
As others said, Lana is the top seller. Imagine a group of escaped Lanas from the Angel program... serving as mercs in some backwater.
They can be told apart only by their wings.
Dude. May I write the MercLanas up?
*bounces up and down on office chair* Go to Comment
The logic behind this is flawed.
a) humans treat cows as animals, as cows show no evidence of intelligence not culture, just a herd. You specifically state that Yothats breed out intelligence from their flock, hence are aware of that trait.
b) As described, Yothats lack the capacity to stand against humanity for long. Sure, they are big, but organized into tribes 50 strong - which will fall one by one; their social structure does not support acting in unison for any extended period of time.
c) societies with units of 50 will not have bankers, or even guilds. These rely on a large number of individuals living in a society to support their existence. Go to Comment
I'd really suggest having unfinished 30 (Whatever) in the Forum and posting them here when they hit the mark. That will also serve as a sorting process: those that don't hit the '30' are apparently not interesting enough to go on front page anyways.