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Castle Crocell
Locations  (Fortification)   (Underground)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2011-12-05 05:03 PM
Huh, I find the elementals' personalities so intriguing that I am surprised that they are a relatively last-minute addition. I suppose I like them enough that I am somewhat disappointed that they have relatively bit parts. I think it would be interesting to give each one its own little bit of castle to make the PCs trek through, dealing with each one in a one-on-one situation (whether through combat, parley, or trickery, of course).

Wouldn't really fit in the Five Room Dungeon format, though, and I can see why you would want to do it this way. Go to Comment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2011-11-22 09:32 AM
I think that while the basic idea of power armor hammer has been done, the mechanism of this one works very well. One can imagine derelict ships haunted by monsters - the results of boarding actions gone wrong - or areas of high dimensional energy where the hammers work unusually.

Also, I think that such a mechanism lends itself well to many possible scenarios. The hammer could be a discovered piece of alien tech, not fully understood by humans. It could be a fairly common weapon, or one relegated to a specific branch or task force. You could give it to a more urban fantasy type group to set them apart from their more scientific counterparts. Not to say the Lore is bad, I just think it's a bit less interesting than the Benefit. Go to Comment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2011-11-19 07:06 AM
I like the basic concept of this item, though a hammer that's good at breaking things is not the most original concept I've seen around these parts.

That said, though I really like the rest of the sub. I like the appearance, though I think that the weight may be a bit on the light side (I think that enough granite to not make a pole that long look silly would probably outweigh that, but I'm no expert on stone). I think that the lore is good for giving the weapon a suitably fearsome reputation, and I like that the weapon is portrayed as irresistible, rather than, say, +5 against gates. Also, given a Berlin Wall situation, I think you could find such an item suitable for creation as well as destruction.

I will say, though, that I think the twist could use a mite bit more elaboration. Does it work for the wielder? The owner? Everybody in the immediate vicinity? And does it make them more charismatic? Help the see the weak points in other's arguments? Smash down prejudices in people's minds? Go to Comment
30 Vigilantes
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2011-11-12 12:31 PM

I am of mixed opinions on this one.

I think some of these guys are pretty interesting: the Thinner, the Berserker, and Billy stand out in particular. A lot of the other ones work as the typical decent "filler" (you know: not bad, but not the most interesting, either). And I can definitely imagine using this list for inspiration (just looking at it gives me some Deadlands ideas).

On the other hand, though, some of these guys are kind of duplicates (the first one and the Knight of the Shroud, for example, are very similar, and, really, so are the Ent and the Tribal Warrior). Also, in my opinion, something about the style makes this a little hard to read - I think it might be a bit too wordy.

Go to Comment
New NuOrleans
Locations  (City)   (Water)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2011-11-04 09:46 PM

This is an evocative post - the idea of a floating raft city is a cool one, and there are some interesting ideas (the mention of the city taking shelter during a hurricane particularly intrigues me). Adding floating raft city to already interesting New Orleans is bound to make for potential.

My problem with it is that I want more. You say it maintains relations with island nations, but how? Exporting food, cessation of pirate attacks, monetary support to corrupt dictators? What are the logistics of a raft city like? Are there people who have to dive down and scrape barnacles off of the bottom? Does the city have big desalinization plants, or does it depend on rain or trade for water? There should be something interesting in all this stuff?

I guess, overall, there's enough here for players to hear about, or pass through, but not enough to include it as the major locale that the text implies it should be.

Go to Comment
The Miskatonian
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2011-12-07 10:00 PM
Update: Just fixing some typos. Go to Comment
Character Background
Systems  (Technical/ Mechanical)   (General)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2007-09-24 09:50 PM
Having seen this, I feel compelled to mention that it is essentially a copy of many of the tables from the D&D Hero Builder's Guidebook, minus some of the more repetitive tables and with a fair number fewer options, but with quite a bit of text that seems more or less directly quoted.

I wouldn't mention this but that this is so similar that I fear it could, conceivably, result in some sort of legal action.

Sorry (Please don't misconstrue this as some sort of accusation - it's not; it's just a warning). Go to Comment
Putnazad Armor
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2009-03-22 09:29 PM

Capable of being attached to either or both of the wrist-slots, the Wrist-Grapple consists of a small dart tipped with a strong adhesive and approximately 50 feet of wire (15 meters). The dart is fired from just under the hand, and sticks to anything it hits. The adhesive is strong enough to support the weight of the suit and (usually) the person inside of it. The wire can also be retracted, allowing the wearer to slowly draw himself to whatever the dart is stuck to, or vice-versa. The dart cannot be easily detached, so the wire must be cut, causing the grapple-launcher to load another dart. The device is capable of holding three darts.

A fairly common variant of this module would be the magnetic grapple, which uses magnetism rather than an adhesive. The magnetic grapple can be detached, allowing it to be used more than three times, though it is more limited in what it can adhere to.

Paralyzer Spray

Another wrist attachment, the paralyzer spray allows the wearer of the suit to spray a burst of gas into the exposed face of an enemy. When breathed in, the stuff begins to move throughout the body, before eventually solidifying. The insulating properties of the gunk mean that, should it get into the nervous system, it can rapidly paralyze or even kill the target. The forearm can be equipped with a tank to hold a large quantity of the gas, kept in compression.

Developed by Natasha Tchakov


Mounted on the helmet, just beside the eye, the eyesight transmits a laser sight at an angle such that it will align with a long rifle held up to the face to sight. The laser is, by default, in the visible spectrum, but it can be modified to infrared or other spectra, allowing for combination with various sight-enhancement modules. Go to Comment
Putnazad Armor
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2009-03-22 09:31 PM
Updated: Updated: I'll try to keep working on scroll additions for this, but the core is there, so I'll throw it out to see what kinds of additions other people have. Go to Comment
Putnazad Armor
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2009-03-27 08:19 PM
Skalistyj Autocannon

Attached to the back, the Skalistyj is a pair of large guns which extend up to point over the shoulders. Each gun is capable of rapid-firing 25 mm shells from either or both barrels, and of being operated without the use of any hands, the skalistyj is a popular weapon for those in need of large amounts of firepower.

Combat Blades

Attached to the elbows and/or knees, combat blades are just what they sound like - long, razor-sharp blades for use in close-combat, capable of shredding an unarmored opponent. Some variations on the blades allow them to be easily detached for use as utility knives.

Forearm Weapons System

A gun mounted to the forearm of the Putnazad suit, this system can mount most types of personal weapons - lasers, projectile weapons, plasma beams, or any other type of traditional firearm. The weapon itself must be detached to be reloaded, but can use a standard clip or power cell, allowing for convenient supply.

Traditonally, the weapon extends from just behind the back of the wrist, appearing almost like a small pistol attached to the forearm. A relatively common variant, however, extends considerably farther forward, looking more like a rifle, and includes a grip for a longer barrel and enhanced accuracy.

Arm Cannon

Where the forearm weapons system is merely attached to the forearm, the arm cannon replaces it. The entire hand of the appropriate arm is locked into the cannon, which takes up the lower half of the forearm, as well as the hand. The arm cannon allows for easier reloading from the outside, and allows for the integration of heavier weapons systems than could otherwise be mounted to the forearm. The necessary sealing away of a hand, however, means that this upgrade is less common than might otherwise be expected.


One of the more expensive upgrades to the suit, the Letjaga is a jetpack. Mounted to the back, the letjaga allows for full flight capability, as well as decent aerial mobility. The standard letjaga model allows for a full five minutes of flight, which can be greatly extended by moving in 'jumps' rather than by actually flying.

Fliegendes Plus

A modified version of a jetpack usually used on much heavier suits of armor, the Fliegendes Plus is a creation of the smaller firm, Peabody Arms. The Fliegendes allows for faster flight than the official letjaga, but offers a bumpier ride, as well as slightly decreased mobility. Go to Comment
Natasha Tchakov
NPCs  (Major)   (Technical)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2009-01-18 01:18 PM
Updated: I feel like this needs:
1. More
2. Something to make her less generic

Any ideas on what's missing? Go to Comment
Natasha Tchakov
NPCs  (Major)   (Technical)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2009-01-26 08:33 PM
Updated: Updated: Alright, I think I've hit on the questions mentioned.

I've left out enemies because any enemies she has are going to be a bit on the dull side - they'll either just be people who dislike her for her work, or they'll be business rivals, and either way there's not much to say about them.

So I think she's basically done. Go to Comment
Natasha Tchakov
NPCs  (Major)   (Technical)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2009-05-03 09:56 PM
Updated: Updated: Fixed some typos which were bugging me and added a new plot hook.

As a small challenge, the vast majority of the names in this sub (and the related Putnazad Armor) are homages to one particular television program. Guesses as to which (it's not that hard)? Go to Comment
The Demon King Lacrimosa
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2008-10-03 08:15 PM
I don't know - I kind of preferred it vague, if only because I could see a large number of ways that he could turn. Does he try to maintain his positions from life? Is he so morose as to be apathetic, letting demons run more loose than ever (which could be a great plot hook)? Does he, that he might be reunited with his loved ones sooner, actively seek the destruction of the universe? Perhaps in his melancholy he travels to the world, and, merely by being a demon, brings pain and suffering, when all he wants is some semblance of his old life back. Go to Comment
The Demon King Lacrimosa
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2008-10-03 08:16 PM
Might I recommend the Demon Freetext? Go to Comment
Umo Cinzento
NPCs  (Extras)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2008-09-19 01:09 PM
That was one of the most depressing things I've read in a long time.

Not bad, just depressing. Go to Comment
Mourners of the Quiet Guild
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (World Wide)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2008-09-05 09:01 PM
I really like this one. I'm going to have to check to see if I can squeeze this into a campaign world somewhere.

I agree with manfred completely. Go to Comment
Carly Goldwin, thief and dark cultist
NPCs  (Major)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2008-09-05 08:45 PM
While I do like this as a character, and the descriptions and role-playing notes are quite good, she seems to lack something to set her apart from the Warhammer world's other chaos cultists.

Also, while it did not affect my vote, and it doesn't really have any impact on the character, I am compelled to mention that Mousillon is in Bretonnia, not Sylvania.

Regardless, I could easily imagine sliding into a campaign in any setting. Go to Comment
30 Lovers
NPCs  (Extras)   (Political)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2008-05-04 09:16 PM
I would agree with those above - this is a good 'un.

I only wish you'd put them in a different order - the first one was so shocking that it made the rest seem a bit tame in comparison. Go to Comment
Tooky Bird
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2008-05-04 05:32 PM
Seems like an interesting, usable idea to me. Lovely in its insertability.

While the punctuation and so forth could be better, they aren't bad enough to make the post difficult to read, which is good.

I prefer the second hook to the first (who but a wizard would buy one of these birds?!), but they're both usable ideas.

So yes, a solid submission. Go to Comment
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